Anonymous
Post 01/23/2022 10:14     Subject: Re:Is it ever okay to tease or make fun of something for their appearance?
Doesn't this just translate into "Is it ever OK to intentionally hurt someone?"

If you want to hurt a person for some reason, and that reason is justifiable, then yes it is OK to make fun of their appearance.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2022 10:12     Subject: Re:Is it ever okay to tease or make fun of something for their appearance?
Anonymous wrote:IMO, no. But evidently, making fun of boys and men for being short is completely acceptable. It seems to be the last, or among the last, categories of physical appearance that is not off limits. Having an 18 year old son who is 5'5" and hearing what people say to him on a daily basis breaks my heart. He knows that he could never come back with a criticism about their appearance or they'd lose their minds.


I’m know you’re not looking for advice, but I feel like there are two ways short men can respond to this: they can have a sense of humor about it and find confidence in other ways, or they can wallow in shame and sometimes get angry at the world (and often women) because of it. My dad is 5’6, my brother is 5’5, my husband is 5’7 and my son, though he is only nine, has always been the shortest in the class (except the year there was a Little Person in his class). And all my short guys are great! I know they have their moments of sensitivity about it, but everybody loves them, especially my brother and husband because they are really confident (not cocky) in who they are and have great personalities. They have never wanted for female attention.

It’s not fair, but I don’t worry about my son. I fully anticipate that he will respond to the prejudice with good humor instead of lashing out.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2022 10:09     Subject: Re:Is it ever okay to tease or make fun of something for their appearance?
Anonymous wrote:Generally it is not ok to insult people because of their appearance. There are limited contexts where it is acceptable is when responding to people who are acting tone deaf, hypocritical or creepy

1. They wear black face to a costume party
2. They are clinically obese old men insulting young women for being overweight (President 45 did it regularly)
3. They are white or white passing claiming to have black or Native American heritage in order to boost college admission prospects designed to help those who have faced racial discrimination.
4. Old men in Speedo’s at the beach or pool ogling young women/ teens (I have never seen it myself but old women ogling young men would qualify. Have seen old men leering at young women and making lewd comments many times)
5. Men in public spaces videoing women without their consent and refusing to stop after being asked (again women filming men without consent would also qualify but I have never seen that happen, or heard young people complain about that).


+1
Context is everything.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2022 10:05     Subject: Is it ever okay to tease or make fun of something for their appearance?
I have two rules:

1. It’s okay to laugh with somebody but probably not at somebody

2. Punch up, now down. If you’re wealthy and privileged, don’t make fun of those less privileged than you. If you’re a regular Joe, Trump”s appearance is fair game. I think people should be cautious about making fun of womens’ appearance. Hillary’s pantsuits fine, but her wrinkles? I don’t like the idea that women should have to be hot their entire lives.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2022 10:04     Subject: Re:Is it ever okay to tease or make fun of something for their appearance?
IMO, no. But evidently, making fun of boys and men for being short is completely acceptable. It seems to be the last, or among the last, categories of physical appearance that is not off limits. Having an 18 year old son who is 5'5" and hearing what people say to him on a daily basis breaks my heart. He knows that he could never come back with a criticism about their appearance or they'd lose their minds.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2022 10:01     Subject: Re:Is it ever okay to tease or make fun of something for their appearance?
Generally it is not ok to insult people because of their appearance. There are limited contexts where it is acceptable is when responding to people who are acting tone deaf, hypocritical or creepy

1. They wear black face to a costume party
2. They are clinically obese old men insulting young women for being overweight (President 45 did it regularly)
3. They are white or white passing claiming to have black or Native American heritage in order to boost college admission prospects designed to help those who have faced racial discrimination.
4. Old men in Speedo’s at the beach or pool ogling young women/ teens (I have never seen it myself but old women ogling young men would qualify. Have seen old men leering at young women and making lewd comments many times)
5. Men in public spaces videoing women without their consent and refusing to stop after being asked (again women filming men without consent would also qualify but I have never seen that happen, or heard young people complain about that).
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2022 09:55     Subject: Is it ever okay to tease or make fun of something for their appearance?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yes, absolutely.


DP. Why, or under which circumstances?


Mostly related to being tone deaf or hypocritical or creepy

1. They wear black face to a costume party
2. They are clinically obese old men insulting young women for being overweight (President 45 did it regularly)
3. They are white or white passing sand cali. to have black or Native American heritage in order to boost college admission prospects designed to help those who have faced racial discrimination.
4. Old men in Speedo’s at the beach or pool ogling young women/ teens (have never seen it but old women ogling young men would qualify. Have seen old men leering at young women and make lewd comments many times)
5. Men in public spaces videoing women without their consent and refusing to stop after being asked (again women filming men without consent would qualify but I have never seen it happen or heard young people complain about that).
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2022 09:50     Subject: Is it ever okay to tease or make fun of something for their appearance?
Maybe we need to evaluate why we think someone is unattractive. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2022 09:47     Subject: Is it ever okay to tease or make fun of something for their appearance?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yes, behind their back. But I agree with the 30 minute rule someone posted. I'm fine making jokes about someone's outfit or makeup. If it's something like they're just ugly and can't fix it, that I have a harder time making fun of.


You are ugly on the inside.


Yup. And I bet they don’t think critically about what happens if/when their comments get back to that person. Or how their teasing could negatively impact how others see the person, and might impact them through negative reputation even if they never find out what was said. Just delightful.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2022 09:44     Subject: Re:Is it ever okay to tease or make fun of something for their appearance?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think even making fun of trump’s appearance is not okay because it can hurt others. I see people make fun of his weight or his hair, but when you call someone fat as an insult, that adds to toxic attitudes about fat people in general. Even someone who also hates trump coujj oh d hear that and be reminded that people think their body is bad or worthy of ridicule.

There are lots of valid reasons to make fun of trump. Focusing on his appearance feels lazy and cheap.

Related: I know a man who claims to be a progressive feminist. But when talking about how much he dislikes conservatives, and especially conservative women, he will focus on their appearance. Criticizing weight, their clothes, makeup, or features. Every time I hear it, I think about how he probably thinks these things often about all kinds of women, because the insults are very vicious. But he thinks he can get away with saying it out loud if the woman he targets is a Trump voter or a Fox News host or something. I find it very revealing.

If your first thought when you think if someone you dislike is: fat/ugly/poorly dressed, you might want to ask yourself why. Is “fascist/racist/morally bankrupt/selfish/opportunist/willfully ignorant/etc.” not good enough for you? Why? What does this say about what you value in others?


Public figures that dish it out like DT had better be able to take it.


And what if the argument that when you make fun of Trump for being fat or unattractive, you are also communicating to lots of other people that you think being fat or unattractive is worthy of ridicule?
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2022 09:36     Subject: Is it ever okay to tease or make fun of something for their appearance?


Yes, in the privacy of my home, among loved ones, we make fun of everything and everyone.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2022 09:33     Subject: Is it ever okay to tease or make fun of something for their appearance?
A grown adult, no. My middle school aged son’s friends sometimes tease him affectionately about his height relative to his best friend (he is short and his best friend is very tall). Both kids claim it does not bother them and that they think it is funny.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2022 08:58     Subject: Is it ever okay to tease or make fun of something for their appearance?
Anonymous wrote:I don't know why people find it compelling to be cruel to anyone. Find something else to do with your time


They have a middle school mentality. They are people to avoid b.c they have to tear others down to make themselves feel better. And talking about appearances is also very boring. Like read a book or something sheesh.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2022 08:55     Subject: Is it ever okay to tease or make fun of something for their appearance?
Anonymous wrote:Yes, behind their back. But I agree with the 30 minute rule someone posted. I'm fine making jokes about someone's outfit or makeup. If it's something like they're just ugly and can't fix it, that I have a harder time making fun of.


You are ugly on the inside.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2022 08:37     Subject: Re:Is it ever okay to tease or make fun of something for their appearance?
Anonymous wrote:I think even making fun of trump’s appearance is not okay because it can hurt others. I see people make fun of his weight or his hair, but when you call someone fat as an insult, that adds to toxic attitudes about fat people in general. Even someone who also hates trump coujj oh d hear that and be reminded that people think their body is bad or worthy of ridicule.

There are lots of valid reasons to make fun of trump. Focusing on his appearance feels lazy and cheap.

Related: I know a man who claims to be a progressive feminist. But when talking about how much he dislikes conservatives, and especially conservative women, he will focus on their appearance. Criticizing weight, their clothes, makeup, or features. Every time I hear it, I think about how he probably thinks these things often about all kinds of women, because the insults are very vicious. But he thinks he can get away with saying it out loud if the woman he targets is a Trump voter or a Fox News host or something. I find it very revealing.

If your first thought when you think if someone you dislike is: fat/ugly/poorly dressed, you might want to ask yourself why. Is “fascist/racist/morally bankrupt/selfish/opportunist/willfully ignorant/etc.” not good enough for you? Why? What does this say about what you value in others?


Public figures that dish it out like DT had better be able to take it.