You are reading way too much into this. Cut the girl some slack. Perhaps mention to the mom that the girl’s comments made your son feel self conscious.

OP I think you really need a thicker skin. I’m sort of dazzled by how you seem to be indicting the whole family. Kids say mean things. It’s okay. It’s your job as a parent to teach your kid how to cope. Just tell him that pull ups are fine and he’s not too old for them. Tell him that other kids and adults are wrong sometimes. Ask him how he felt when she said it. Validate his feelings. Talk about what to do/say when this sort of thing happens.

I think the big problem here is your reaction not the little kid who called the pull up a diaper.

Anonymous wrote:Without opening the thread I knew the term cruel was going to be very overdramatic. You didn't disappoint OP!

Yep

And pullups are diapers.

You are "stunned" OP?

Anonymous wrote:A middle school student is still young. She's still in the process of learning social niceties, and doesn't fully understand the situation in the way that you do.

As your son grows up, he is going to get hurt by comments other people make. That's life. Kids (including preteens and teens) say dumb things to one another. I think the line about bodies maturing at different times is a great approach.

This. Do you have a kid this age? I’m honestly sometimes shocked by how little my 8th grader and his friends know; I thought kids this age were far more mature and knowledgeable than they actually are at this age (be wise they look like they ought to be). My kid definitely wouldn’t know the difference between pull-up and diaper! This sounds like a great friendship; I would not let one remark by another kid ruin anything.

It’s out of the “normal” range yo wear pull-ups at this age.

You should have told the mom and she could have prepped her D to not say anything.

That’s what parents did when we had sleep overs and the kids needed pull-ups

Why not just have him wear pants over his pull up? They're a lot less noticeable than diapers, it's likely that no one would have even known he was wearing one if you'd just put some pants on your kid.

Sorry but I don't have much sympathy if no one saw a problem with letting him run around the house in a diaper with no pants on.

I expected some scenario in which your child was the butt of ritualistic public shaming by this family. Another child made a comment about your child. This other child, as you describe it, is basically part of your family. Kids have no filter. Since you are all one family, you should have said "Larla, we don't tease about pull-ups." End of story.

Without opening the thread I knew the term cruel was going to be very overdramatic. You didn't disappoint OP!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weird that PP’s are fixating on a preschooler wearing a pull-up around close friends. Ignore them PP.

A 12 or 13 confronting a 4 year old like that for wearing a diaper is rude and unkind. How strange. It’s hard to even imagine unless she’s autistic or intellectually disabled and thus genuinely confused/curious why a child who isn’t a baby would wear a diaper, and doesn’t understand why it’s impolite to point out.

Why? Elder siblings make fun of younger siblings all the time. Its probably a joke in her middle school to differentiate themselves from 'babies'. However OP expecting someone else's kid to not mention their child running around in a pull-up when they're probably not used to the sight is a bit much.

Idk, all the tweens/teens around that age that my family knows are either very sweet to my preschool kid because they’re so much older, or just kind of ignore them completely. I can see a 7-8 year old making fun of a 4 year old do differentiate themself from being a baby, but not an 8th grader. Very strange for a kid that age to be compelled to put a little kid down like that.

I should add the second remark was cruel and her mother should have corrected her. But the first? Meh.

Anonymous wrote:Weird that PP’s are fixating on a preschooler wearing a pull-up around close friends. Ignore them PP.

A 12 or 13 confronting a 4 year old like that for wearing a diaper is rude and unkind. How strange. It’s hard to even imagine unless she’s autistic or intellectually disabled and thus genuinely confused/curious why a child who isn’t a baby would wear a diaper, and doesn’t understand why it’s impolite to point out.

Why? Elder siblings make fun of younger siblings all the time. Its probably a joke in her middle school to differentiate themselves from 'babies'. However OP expecting someone else's kid to not mention their child running around in a pull-up when they're probably not used to the sight is a bit much.

Anonymous wrote:What exactly is the difference between pull ups and diapers?

Pull-ups are a specific brand of diapers with an elastic waist so they can slide up and slip down like underwear. The other big diaper brands make "pull-ups" style diapers too like Pampers 360 Cruisers Disposable Diapers.

Pull-ups brand markets itself for potty training, whereas the other adjustable waist diapers market themselves with a focus on absorbency.

Weird that PP’s are fixating on a preschooler wearing a pull-up around close friends. Ignore them PP.

A 12 or 13 confronting a 4 year old like that for wearing a diaper is rude and unkind. How strange. It’s hard to even imagine unless she’s autistic or intellectually disabled and thus genuinely confused/curious why a child who isn’t a baby would wear a diaper, and doesn’t understand why it’s impolite to point out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What exactly is the difference between pull ups and diapers?

We never used pull ups in my family at all, but my understanding is that pull ups are meant to give the child a sensation of being wet, to encourage potty training, while not being as absorbent as a traditional diaper.

More importantly, they’re disposable, extra absorbent underwear. They’re made so that a child can put them on and pull them down independently, so if they can get to the potty in time, they can pull their pants down and go in the potty instead of wetting themselves.

A middle school student is still young. She's still in the process of learning social niceties, and doesn't fully understand the situation in the way that you do.

As your son grows up, he is going to get hurt by comments other people make. That's life. Kids (including preteens and teens) say dumb things to one another. I think the line about bodies maturing at different times is a great approach.