I work from home full time so I’m not the target audience, but in my situation I would probably spend more money if I stayed at home now that my kid is out of daycare. Daycare was $1600/month- I wouldn’t have spent that much if I stayed home. But full day preschool is $1250/month and half day is $785/month. I would probably spend an extra $500/month on extras if I stayed at home- zoo/Aquarian/museum memberships, extra afternoon activities, maybe a few more toys and art supplies. Since my mornings would be free I would sign up for exercise classes, maybe meet a friend for coffee or brunch a few times a month.

All the other expenses- groceries/takeout, house cleaner, clothing budget, car/gas, wouldn’t really change.

Your estimates are not that great. You don't need a cleaning service, that is a want. Why would you have to spend 200 per month on clothes? What the heck?
You have to eat lunch at home or at work... so not sure how is that any extra cost if you are WOH?

I'm a SAHM now but used to WOHM until recently.
childcare: about $1500. I have one kid who would be in full time daycare and one kid who is in school and would go to before and aftercare and need care on the days off school or Covid-related virtual school days since he isn't old enough to stay home by himself and my spouse and I both have/had jobs where we couldn't always WFH.
Commute - about $100 per month but it's not like there is 0 cost to drive as a SAHM and I'm now driving the kids to/from more places during the week than I was when I WOHM.
Parking - free
Cleaning Services - none. We did it all ourselves.
Clothing - $100 or so per month probably.
Dry Cleaning - don't really do dry cleaning often
Lunches - I took my lunch with me so about the same as I spend to eat at home anyway
Coffees/Breakfast on the Run - hardly ever got coffee out, brought it from home too
Takeout - n/a probably we’d have it anyway

So for us the major expense of us both working was childcare but we split all $$ so I never thought of childcare or any of the above as just coming out of my salary but rather coming from our joint finances. I became a SAHM because I had a very stressful, draining job that I didn't enjoy, we can afford to live on one income, my spouse was supportive, and I was not getting enough time with my kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nanny: $56k
Au pair: $30k
Work clothes: maybe $2k
Commuting/parking: $2.5k
Coffees/lunches: $1k

So let's say about $90k/year. Well worth it. Also my older kids are in school so those expenses would apply regardless.

Wait you have a nanny and an au pair??

No judgment, I'm just confused

Yes. I need more than 8 hours of coverage a day, and I have 2 school-aged kids and a baby. I don't think it's optimal for one non-parent to watch all three kids.

Oh gotcha. I know people who have multiple nannies with 3 kids

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nanny: $56k
Au pair: $30k
Work clothes: maybe $2k
Commuting/parking: $2.5k
Coffees/lunches: $1k

So let's say about $90k/year. Well worth it. Also my older kids are in school so those expenses would apply regardless.

Wait you have a nanny and an au pair??

No judgment, I'm just confused

Yes. I need more than 8 hours of coverage a day, and I have 2 school-aged kids and a baby. I don't think it's optimal for one non-parent to watch all three kids.

Anonymous wrote:Nanny: $56k
Au pair: $30k
Work clothes: maybe $2k
Commuting/parking: $2.5k
Coffees/lunches: $1k

So let's say about $90k/year. Well worth it. Also my older kids are in school so those expenses would apply regardless.

Wait you have a nanny and an au pair??

No judgment, I'm just confused

Nanny: $56k
Au pair: $30k
Work clothes: maybe $2k
Commuting/parking: $2.5k
Coffees/lunches: $1k

So let's say about $90k/year. Well worth it. Also my older kids are in school so those expenses would apply regardless.

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone assuming the costs come out of the women's paycheck. It is a shared expense between both parents and should be viewed that way.

Thank you!! Unless you are popping out kids through immaculate conception, this is a split expense.
And not every household required $400 in cleaning services.
All this is a list of inflated expenses to justify not working.

Anonymous wrote:For us, our lifestyle, realtionship, and mental health are dramatically better when one of us is home. That is priceless!

Opposite for me. Mental health far far better when both of us work full-time. (However, I support the expansion of flexible and telework options - for parents in general)

Anonymous wrote:Please call out the daycare that costs 3300 a month - for the love of all things holy who charges that much???

I am guessing it's multiple children? God, I hope!!

Why is everyone assuming the costs come out of the women's paycheck. It is a shared expense between both parents and should be viewed that way.

My biggest cost is a nanny at about $50k a year of my post tax income (well mine and DHs)
Clothing is a wash. What i save in luncha dn breakfast out would be kid classes and lunch out (in non covid) with the kid and more self care for me like massages.
As it is, i come home happy to my kids and make $175k and contribute to retirement and will retire at 55.

There is not really a trend here. People spend wildly varying amounts of money. I am talking spending in one day what others spend in a week or a month, regardless of sahm/wohm status.

Please call out the daycare that costs 3300 a month - for the love of all things holy who charges that much???

I don’t know why this is a surprise to anyone. But here is how it would look in my case:

Daycare - it used to be about 3,500, now about 500 for aftercare as kids in school.
Commute - metro, used to be in smartbenefits, so additional: 80
Parking - n/a
Cleaning Services - (I’d have them either way, so n/a)
Clothing - $25 (suits, dress shoes etc), per month? Mine are way less but I am not in a client facing position all the time.
Dry Cleaning - 10$ ( I rarely dry clean, just run all on gentle cycle).
Lunches - $80
Coffees/Breakfast on the Run - $30
Takeout - n/a probably we’d have it anyway)

So I think other than childcare when kids are small, it’s not such a huge amount.