I would say, gently, that you should go into this prepared to be flexible, because driving yourself crazy won't help you achieve the longevity or experience you seek. Pumping now and then and/or giving formula now and then so you can take a good m yoga class, see a friend, do an errand unaccompanied, whatever, will not have any impact on your ability to breastfeed or bond with your baby, but will make your overall experience better. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. I basically EBFed 3 kids for 6-12 months each, but they got some pumped milk and a little formula too, plus food once they hit the appropriate age for that. Good luck with your baby!

Prepare for birth and try not to avoid a C-section. Plenty of C-section moms breastfeed successfully (I did) but it definitely does not make it easier in the beginning. Read and understand what will be necessary to triple feed if you need to build supply. It’s incredibly grueling and in truth I don’t recommend it but it would be a lot easier going in if you knew what you were getting into. Be prepared to hire a night nurse to bring you the baby to feed and then do everything else so you can go back to sleep ASAP if your partner can’t do that. Mentally prepare to sleep in 30 minute increments for the first 2-4 weeks. It could be a lot better but it might not be.

Anonymous wrote:Breastfeeding is the natural way. You don't need to set yourself up for success - you just need to know that every mammal breastfeeds and except under extreme circumstances - every baby learns to breastfeed. Relax, embrace your inner highland gorilla, and let it flow.

Omg, no. Every baby does not learn to breastfeed. I know OP asked for positivity only, but this is such a dangerous message.

Absolutely hire a lactation consultant who is trained in identify tongue and lip ties. Pediatricians aren’t really trained in it and are likely to dismiss tongue tie as a reason for nursing troubles.

Be optimistic--you and baby will be a little team. It brought me both great joy and some of the most painful experiences of my life (mastitis and cracked nipples--ugh!) but I have no regrets and breast fed both my kids for 2.5 years each. I asked for help when I needed it (and even changed LC's when it was clear the first one was not listening to me).

I found the early days were a give-and-take of giving yourself grace but also pushing through discomfort when/if you can because it truly gets much, much easier after about the 6 week mark.

Pay attention to the latch in the beginning (even asking the LC to watch you feed to make sure it's right), carry around a water bottle and refill through the day to hydrate, don't forget to eat, wear good quality nursing bras, don't ignore cracks on your nipples no matter how small (they will give you an antibiotic cream for it that really helps), find a nursing pillow that works for you (might take some trial and error), get a bedside bassinet so you can nurse and go back to sleep as efficiently as possible. Be prepare to have magic moments and moments when you want to stop. Ask for help for your partner when you need it.

All this being said, if it hadn't worked out for whatever reason (they are all valid), I would have tried to step back and looked at things rationally and moved on to combo feeding or formula feeding.

Good luck and take good care, Mama!

OP here. Thanks so much for all the helpful suggestions. You’ve given me ideas I hadn’t thought of.

And to the others, please believe that I am well aware of all the things that may go wrong and not make exclusively breastfeeding possible. I feel like that’s all I hear!! I need positive suggestions now.

Are you a first time mom? If so buckle up because this is a big and small part of the first year. Lots of things out of your control but also in your control.

With my first, emergency c section lip and tongue tie antibiotics and nicu affected supply and we had to supplement, didn’t gain enough etc. By 7 months baby hated staying still and was over it.

With my second now, exclusively breastfed from day one and baby gaining beautifully.

Your boobs will be sore it will hurt tremendously if you’re not used to it. Nipple cream is needed. Get warm compresses to increase supply. Use the Hakka don’t over pump but pump before milk comes in and to help those first days of engorgement there’s a fine line. Have nipple shields and feeding syringes for colostrum. Drink a ton of water. You’ll doubt yourself in evenings when baby wants to drink and your boobs are soft and baby is crying. Have breast pads and good nursing bras. Get right size pump cups. Again it will hurt and you’d likely want to do bottles. I pump in morning for the evening bottle.

I repeat if you’re a first time it’ll be hard and there are many elements outside your control.

I stayed home for 15 months with my second, and nursed him until age 3. I only pumped a few times, but we never really got around to getting him to take a bottle. He resisted it and it was never that important so we stopped trying. He never took a bottle and went straight to sippy cups.

With my first, I went back to work part-time when he was 5 months, so we did introduce a bottle early. But I didn't do much pumping until I went back to work. i had no freezer stash, but I was fine supplementing with formula, so he got a bottle of formula on my work days, along with a bottle or two of BM. I also nursed him until he was 3.

Pumping is a giant PITA. It's amazing to me that anyone would suggest devoting time to to it to someone who's not going back to work!

If baby struggles to latch the first day demand they check for tongue tie. Don’t wait to get that sorted out (meaning, don’t buy into “baby needs to learn it’s OK if it’s hard at first” because if you struggle for more than a day or 2 and it’s because of tongue tie baby will lose too much weight and you’ll end up going down the supplementing path too soon, and then you’ll have to learn how to bf after already supplementing).

The truth is that you can not "achieve" yourself to breastfeeding as so many people on this thread want you to believe.

Trust me, this was my #1 priority as a new mom. I did everything recommended here and more. But my body just never made enough breastmilk to exclusively breastfeed. I drove myself into the ground trying to make happen something it turns out my body was never going to be able to do. So much pumping. Constant lactation consultant visits. Hiring a postpartum doula specifically to make me all of the foods that were supposed to help and reduce other stress so I could just do this. Supplements, diet, everything.

I wish someone had told me this. I ended up combo feeding and it was wonderful. But I regret the lost time just focusing on my baby those early weeks.

Set yourself up for success as much as you want, but understand that success is just doing as much as your body is able to do. You can not make this happen just by working extra hard.

Anonymous wrote:Breastfeeding is the natural way. You don't need to set yourself up for success - you just need to know that every mammal breastfeeds and except under extreme circumstances - every baby learns to breastfeed. Relax, embrace your inner highland gorilla, and let it flow.

Breastfeeding is natural but now other easy in the beginning for FTMs. The Highland Gorillas have watched the nursing females of their bands for years.

Get as much help as you can, OP.

Breastfeeding is the natural way. You don't need to set yourself up for success - you just need to know that every mammal breastfeeds and except under extreme circumstances - every baby learns to breastfeed. Relax, embrace your inner highland gorilla, and let it flow.

Anonymous wrote:My pediatrician told me no dairy and I didn’t listen because I thought it was rubbish. My son had terrible problems when I drank milk. I’m going to follow it from the beginning this time around!! I ended up nursing for 19 months but he struggled in the beginning because of the sensitivity (tummy trouble and eczema).

Pumping is helpful. It sucks but it’s good to have a few backup bottles. What if you go out and want husband to feed or 6 months in you get smashing drunk and you’d rather give baby prior milk and do a pump and dump etc.

Know that it can really hurt the first few weeks. Latching can be super painful as your nipples adjust even with good latch. Seeing a lactation consultant can help. But it gets better.

+1. The medical community is all over the place with this dairy-or-no-dairy for nursing mothers but I luckily developed a dairy-aversion in my last months of pregnancy and just stayed with the no dairy for a full year after.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One more thing: start pumping as soon as you’re home to increase your supply. And if you’re not eating healthfully now - prepare to do so. Could be totally anecdotal but I noticed a supply drop when I didn’t eat enough healthful fats (avocado, olive oil, etc) and clean protein.

Be careful, I did this and pumped myself into an oversupply by 5 weeks. It was super painful to deal with. I was only pumping 1x a day and otherwise using haaka on non nursing boob and this happened. Thankfully an LC helped me deal with it, but wait and see how your supply comes in before pumping aggressively.

My midwives warned me against pumping for that reason too.

Appointment with lactation consultant 3-5 day post partum
Nipple shields
Find a lactation clinic with a Dr. who can prescribe prescription strength nipple cream. You may not need it but know where one is.
Read the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. It is pro BF propaganda but has good info
Don't tell formula feeding moms if you run into trouble. They will push you to FF.
Get one of those infinity scarf type nursing covers
Nursing bras. Wacoal has underwire ones which I strongly prefer.