Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she a POC? Rice and WashU offer a few huge scholarships—I think 50%—but most are diversity focused. There are also private scholarships she can apply for.

While it certainly won’t hurt for her to try to get one of the tiny number of big scholarships offered by top schools, I’d suggest that you help her understand that her undergrad school is not going to change the course of her life. If she excels wherever she ends up, she’ll be in a great position to attend a prestigious grad school if she wants, though by that stage kids tend to realize it was silly to obsess about prestige in the first place.

She is not. It’s not that she is being difficult, it’s because she has worked really hard and feels so dejected that her friends can either get financial aid or wealthy parents to pay and there is nothing she can do to attend colleges she loves. Yes, she’ll survive but it’s heart breaking to see her swollen eyes. This pandemic has been enough stress for everyone.

You are a nice aunt to care so much, and I understand your niece’s sense of frustration about having fewer options than her wealthier peers. You and she do need to understand, though, that the fact that her folks are willing to pay for a State school means she is very fortunate and privileged compared to most kids in the country. Schools like Alabama bend over backward for kids like your niece and provide them with every opportunity to succeed. She truly will do very well wherever she goes if she continues to work hard.

I would hate to see you contribute to the current rift when your sibling and spouse have taken an extremely reasonable position re the finances. You will help your niece and your family if your role is helping her to see the bigger picture here while lending a sympathetic ear to her. I recommend Frank Bruni’s Where You Go Is Not Who You’ll Be for kids in this situation.

This is good advice. Unless you’re willing to contribute financially, you’re not really helping.

Anonymous wrote:My niece is a high achiever who wants to attend a hard to get in college like most other applicants. She won’t qualify for need based scholarships and her parents won’t pay because she can get free ride at state school as a national merit finalist. They want to be able to pay for education of her younger sisters and their own retirement. They’ve agreed to pay as much as they would’ve at state school if she wasn’t getting a free ride but that only covers half at private colleges. Which top schools offer scholarships to cover full or half cost of attendance. This is causing severe stress for her and rift in family.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she a POC? Rice and WashU offer a few huge scholarships—I think 50%—but most are diversity focused. There are also private scholarships she can apply for.

While it certainly won’t hurt for her to try to get one of the tiny number of big scholarships offered by top schools, I’d suggest that you help her understand that her undergrad school is not going to change the course of her life. If she excels wherever she ends up, she’ll be in a great position to attend a prestigious grad school if she wants, though by that stage kids tend to realize it was silly to obsess about prestige in the first place.

She is not. It’s not that she is being difficult, it’s because she has worked really hard and feels so dejected that her friends can either get financial aid or wealthy parents to pay and there is nothing she can do to attend colleges she loves. Yes, she’ll survive but it’s heart breaking to see her swollen eyes. This pandemic has been enough stress for everyone.

You are a nice aunt to care so much, and I understand your niece’s sense of frustration about having fewer options than her wealthier peers. You and she do need to understand, though, that the fact that her folks are willing to pay for a State school means she is very fortunate and privileged compared to most kids in the country. Schools like Alabama bend over backward for kids like your niece and provide them with every opportunity to succeed. She truly will do very well wherever she goes if she continues to work hard.

I would hate to see you contribute to the current rift when your sibling and spouse have taken an extremely reasonable position re the finances. You will help your niece and your family if your role is helping her to see the bigger picture here while lending a sympathetic ear to her. I recommend Frank Bruni’s Where You Go Is Not Who You’ll Be for kids in this situation.

This is good advice. Unless you’re willing to contribute financially, you’re not really helping.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she a POC? Rice and WashU offer a few huge scholarships—I think 50%—but most are diversity focused. There are also private scholarships she can apply for.

While it certainly won’t hurt for her to try to get one of the tiny number of big scholarships offered by top schools, I’d suggest that you help her understand that her undergrad school is not going to change the course of her life. If she excels wherever she ends up, she’ll be in a great position to attend a prestigious grad school if she wants, though by that stage kids tend to realize it was silly to obsess about prestige in the first place.

She is not. It’s not that she is being difficult, it’s because she has worked really hard and feels so dejected that her friends can either get financial aid or wealthy parents to pay and there is nothing she can do to attend colleges she loves. Yes, she’ll survive but it’s heart breaking to see her swollen eyes. This pandemic has been enough stress for everyone.

You are a nice aunt to care so much, and I understand your niece’s sense of frustration about having fewer options than her wealthier peers. You and she do need to understand, though, that the fact that her folks are willing to pay for a State school means she is very fortunate and privileged compared to most kids in the country. Schools like Alabama bend over backward for kids like your niece and provide them with every opportunity to succeed. She truly will do very well wherever she goes if she continues to work hard.

I would hate to see you contribute to the current rift when your sibling and spouse have taken an extremely reasonable position re the finances. You will help your niece and your family if your role is helping her to see the bigger picture here while lending a sympathetic ear to her. I recommend Frank Bruni’s Where You Go Is Not Who You’ll Be for kids in this situation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she a POC? Rice and WashU offer a few huge scholarships—I think 50%—but most are diversity focused. There are also private scholarships she can apply for.

While it certainly won’t hurt for her to try to get one of the tiny number of big scholarships offered by top schools, I’d suggest that you help her understand that her undergrad school is not going to change the course of her life. If she excels wherever she ends up, she’ll be in a great position to attend a prestigious grad school if she wants, though by that stage kids tend to realize it was silly to obsess about prestige in the first place.

She is not. It’s not that she is being difficult, it’s because she has worked really hard and feels so dejected that her friends can either get financial aid or wealthy parents to pay and there is nothing she can do to attend colleges she loves. Yes, she’ll survive but it’s heart breaking to see her swollen eyes. This pandemic has been enough stress for everyone.

Anonymous wrote:How do you get selected for merit scholarships at top colleges? It’s hard enough to get accepted even if you are willing to give them your nest egg and first born.

Anonymous wrote:Is she a POC? Rice and WashU offer a few huge scholarships—I think 50%—but most are diversity focused. There are also private scholarships she can apply for.

While it certainly won’t hurt for her to try to get one of the tiny number of big scholarships offered by top schools, I’d suggest that you help her understand that her undergrad school is not going to change the course of her life. If she excels wherever she ends up, she’ll be in a great position to attend a prestigious grad school if she wants, though by that stage kids tend to realize it was silly to obsess about prestige in the first place.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don't. Except for some schools that have 1-2 extremely competitive merit awards for really extraordinary kids.

If she's open to LACs, I think the highest ranked one that does give significant merit aid is Grinnell.

But, really, I'd encourage her to find things to love about the school giving her a full ride.

Which schools offer the 1-2 extremely competitive merit awards?

Duke. I imagine it's extremely difficult to land. The Ivy's are out as are most of the top 20. You might be surprised at how much financial aid you can qualify for at these schools though. Worth a look anyway.