Don’t pay the subcontractors. It’s not your bill to pay.
Next, it sounds like the other ones that are giving you prices smell your desperation. Honestly, if it’s partially built, it’s something that can be easily finished.

Anonymous wrote:PS you need to stop paying the subcontractors and start thinking of how to get this project finished. I went through that also. The bankrupt company really wanted me to pay for work they didn’t do.

Oh God. If you needlessly paid the subs, you likely wont get that money back.

Anonymous wrote:OP having gone through this myself you really need legal advice. I don’t think you are in the hook for subcontractors no matter what they stick on your door. Being snowed down myself I used JustAswer to get a cheap concept of where I stood. Got me through debt probate etc etc. Know your rights!

Definitely get educated. I had collections people coming after me due to something involving my mom. They tried every con to try to get me to pay her debts. It was scary. I was not a joint account holder with her (thank god) but she did make me an authorized signer on one, which is why they tried to shake me down. I didn’t use the account — it was there in case of emergency when I was in college and I’d forgotten about it when the collectors started calling me 20’years later. The point is people want their money (understandable) but without knowing your liability here you don’t know what you owe. Did the lawyer look at your paperwork to help you figure this out yet? Seems like some of these subs should be going after the guy you hired. If you were the GC, then you’re probably in a deeper hole. Good luck.

OP here- we did ask about plowing it all down. Quotes were around 30k-40K due to it being fairly difficult to get to for the large equipment.. smaller backyard.
Our neighbor a financial advisor/ he just moved in- came by to ask what’s going on but anyhow- he said not to bull doze. He says that is letting emotion get best of us. He said we would be better off simplifying and cutting cost to basic - finish it- and have the investment.
Bull dozing it costs say 40k and with the 110 we put in already- that’s 150kish thrown away and still subs can come after us.

I see that point- but I’m considering it still because I feel like that’s a one week to see it through- vs months of trying to find someone to finish it and all the decisions left.

I appreciate all the advice on subs. We have decided to forward all of them to our attorney. At first we thought if we owe 3k - we can pay or fight for 300-400 an hour with attorney and then agree to settlement - on the end probably pay the same. However now that coupon subs are asking for many thousands, and my nerves at the absolute end- we’ve decided to send to lawyer.

I'm sorry op. I had something similar with a contractor who was came highly recommended. I think it's worth suing the contractor as when he tries to license again it will prevent him from doing this to anyone else. You will need to finish the project bc otherwise it will look a mess. See if you can renegotiate bwkth the subs and ask them for detailed receipts of the work they did. Some subs take advantage of homeowners and state the homeowner owes for work that want done.

OP I just read through your post again. Every contractor is taking advantage of your panic over this. I know it’s hard but try to calm down and think it through. They know you are upset and coming up with BS prices and concepts.

PS you need to stop paying the subcontractors and start thinking of how to get this project finished. I went through that also. The bankrupt company really wanted me to pay for work they didn’t do.

OP having gone through this myself you really need legal advice. I don’t think you are in the hook for subcontractors no matter what they stick on your door. Being snowed down myself I used JustAswer to get a cheap concept of where I stood. Got me through debt probate etc etc. Know your rights!

Your husband sounds weak, OP. I’m sorry. I don’t know how you respect someone like that. Will it cost less to scrap the project altogether versus pushing through?

Will you even get the money back on this? Do you even need a pool house for the pool? Can you buy a prefabbed shed? How much would it cost to tear the whole thing down? Throwing another $160,000 at it could pay for 4 years at a state school. If your dh gets a package at 60, would he consider working somewhere else to help contribute to expenses? Dh and I just bought a new mattress and our mattress salesperson said that this was his retirement job. He had had a very successful career in one field but now does this a few days a week.

Can you take out an equity loan or HELOC to pay these people in the short term—get those monkeys off your back and the liens cleared? Then you can deal with whatever else needs to be dealt with later in terms of suing that guy or whatever, but at least you can pay it off over time and have it all contained in one monthly payment.

I’m so sorry this happened!! Nightmare situation. My sister had something similar happen with a contractor she knew from church who was going to remodel their kitchen. They didn’t lose nearly as much money though—he just ran off with their down payment.

OP you have to fight the liens. Hire a lawyer. Depending on the state if you paid the contractor you may be okay. Some subs will not be eligible to put liens. So those will get thrown out. If they are you can open negotiations with them.

Hire a lawyer go after the contractor and fight the subs.

Next get quotes on finishing the jobs. You have to pick the pieces up and move on.

OP - did your husband go behind your back and start construction without your consent? Or did you ultimately agree to it? If the latter, then you absolutely need to STOP blaming him. It’s just as much your fault as it is his fault- which is to say, it’s NOT your fault OR his fault. You were both robbed! It sucks and it’s stressful, but you placing the blame for being victimized on your husband is incredibly unfair, immature, and just downright shitty. And you can say you know you’re wrong until the cows come home, but they’re just empty words until you internalize the fact that you are being a terrible spouse right now. Fix your attitude first, then work WITH your husband to fix the crappy situation you’re in…

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is something that really should be bringing you closer together, not driving you apart. I’m sure your H feels terrible and is scared you’ll leave him or punish him in some way. You need to rally together and come up with a plan together.

Also, you need to change your attitude about money and possessions. In a marriage, it’s not your money or your backyard. It belongs to both of you equally. Also change your attitude about your H doing the “right” thing - there’s nothing wrong with wanting and working towards a pool.

I’d start by sharing your actual feelings with him with a very soft start up. “I’m not blaming you or angry with you, but I’m so scared what’s going to happen and need comfort”.

The husband pushing for a stupid investment that OP didn't want that ended up a money pit from hell is not something that should bring them together. I would get couples counseling so the resentment of his entitlement doesn't eat you alive.

Agree! And he should not be retiring with 3 kids entering college. What a loser and a user!

Op here- All very good advice- the actual money we gave builder was 110 toward 160k poolhouse. We had 20% left to pay off. He took two draws to get to that all with fake receipts.
However the electrician called wanting 16k- the plumber and hvac guy want 30k- brick company 4k - insulation company -3k- lumber 3k- and who knows who else will come after us. So 50K roughly billed to us.
And the two new builders who came in all around 125-160k to finish. Apparently the original builder completely underestimated the cost- which know we have determined is because he was underselling in the end to get the job and get the down payments for his addiction.
So we have potentially 150k to get this finished (that’s the very best case).
It makes me sick to think about.

We have cut where we can but all the construction items are costing more. And the builders are all charging us ridiculous fees to come in middle of job. It’s a liability they say.
I started to push through on my own- but I work tough long hour job- and honestly so much was coming up I didn’t know and taking more time than I had- like did we get the set back approval- did the loft get approved (open ceiling not really loft)- o didn’t even now what all this meant - so we feel like a builder is needed.
That’s why I have so much resentment. It is a terrible expensive mess. But we are now not even sleeping in same room snd haven’t talked since xmàs day. We tried to out on a show for the kids of being happy that day.