Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother was like this - she'd have a thing of like, cheese, crackers and grapes, and if anyone was hungry she'd wave it off and be like "We'll serve the meal soon," and "soon" could mean two hours later.

That seems normal to me … fast metabolism 45-year-old

Really, that's normal? So half a grapefruit for breakfast, then the cheese and grapes for lunch, then wait to eat dinner? No honey, that's not normal.

Right?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother was like this - she'd have a thing of like, cheese, crackers and grapes, and if anyone was hungry she'd wave it off and be like "We'll serve the meal soon," and "soon" could mean two hours later.

That seems normal to me … fast metabolism 45-year-old

Really, that's normal? So half a grapefruit for breakfast, then the cheese and grapes for lunch, then wait to eat dinner? No honey, that's not normal.

My parents and in-laws may be too young (mid/late 60s), but there is always an abundance of food when we visit. I remember my grandparents eating very little themselves, but they always had way too much food—maybe a relic of raising 6 kids).

Now, I still remember going skiing for a weekend with a friend and being hungry the whole weekend. Two meals a day, one of which was a can of pears. I can only guess since they had an only child, who seemed happy to eat so little, they just weren’t in tune with varying appetites. I always packed snacks when traveling with friends after that.

Old people just get so weird about food in all kinds of ways. I’m living with my 76 year old dad, who likes to eat, and I eat what and when I want without much fuss, but he gets so much anxiety about food in the fridge. If there’s more than one night of leftovers he really gets antsy about there being too much. It’s almost like he gets overwhelmed if he opens the fridge and sees a lot of food. If I put restaurant leftovers in the fridge he is weird about it and asks me if he should throw it away if it’s been in there longer than a few hours. Every time I go to the store he tells me not to get too much because we “don’t have that much room” (there’s plenty of room).

Anonymous wrote:Many people eat less as they age, so they might forget what it’s like to want to eat more frequently.

Others are the type who are still strict calorie-counters with a 1970s/80s mentality and can’t understand why half a grapefruit isn’t enough to tide you over from the time you get up until the time you have dinner. There have been many threads on here about parents/IL’s (typically the mother) having disordered eating and expecting their children and grandchildren to follow along.

This, 1000%.

Anonymous wrote:My mother was like this - she'd have a thing of like, cheese, crackers and grapes, and if anyone was hungry she'd wave it off and be like "We'll serve the meal soon," and "soon" could mean two hours later.

That seems normal to me … fast metabolism 45-year-old

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My in-laws. I lost 10lbs the last time we visited. Didn’t feed us and didn’t invite us to use the kitchen.

Your visit was TOO long then.

My in-laws live in a foreign country. And yes, way, way too long.

I can relate. Visits are soooo long.

Anonymous wrote:I think sometimes it’s older people. My parents always had a ton of food 24/7. My brother in his 30s is currently staying with them and my mother called me, shocked, because they ate dinner on Christmas Eve at 2 and he was hungry again at 7. She couldn’t believe he could eat again because my parents were so stuffed.

I told her this was normal and how they used to be. They really don’t remember. I also gently reminded them how I took the kids out to eat mid day when we visited because they needed lunch and couldn’t go from breakfast to dinner.

If you are visiting relatives, always have your own car. My advice and hard lesson learned.

The bolded is too funny. I might starve in their house. I eat a lot, and I tend to eat even more when I am visiting.

But like you, my DH and I are always ready with our food or means to get to food. We never expect our host to properly feed us, so we always come prepared(for example, we will buy lots of fruits right before it gets dark just in case we(including our children) need snacks.

My family members always make too much food when they host. They end up forcing everyone to take food when leaving. We hardly ever cook the day after an occasion.

*always had a ton of food when they were younger.

I think sometimes it’s older people. My parents always had a ton of food 24/7. My brother in his 30s is currently staying with them and my mother called me, shocked, because they ate dinner on Christmas Eve at 2 and he was hungry again at 7. She couldn’t believe he could eat again because my parents were so stuffed.

I told her this was normal and how they used to be. They really don’t remember. I also gently reminded them how I took the kids out to eat mid day when we visited because they needed lunch and couldn’t go from breakfast to dinner.

If you are visiting relatives, always have your own car. My advice and hard lesson learned.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Mom. My cousin stayed with her for a week and she basically starved him. He could eat if she didn't feel like eating. They'd go out all day and they'd have one meal.

Did anyone call her out on this? That's not okay

Why didn’t he just jump in the car and get a cheeseburger? I would’ve told your mom that I was hungry and went grocery shopping or grabbed takeout; I certainly wouldn’t only eat when your mother deemed it okay. Or is your cousin a minor who could not take matters into his own hands?

In some places, it's a long drive to stores or a place to eat. Not everyone has access to a car or can rent one (especially now with rental car shortages).

Anonymous wrote:Me, my sister surprised me by cooking a meal for the family displacing all the ingredients I had for Christmas Day!

I was so happy she volunteered, but so embarrassed when I realized she had used the ingredients I was planning on using right before cooking.

When she volunteered, why didn’t you ask what she was planning to make, or show her what ingredients you were saving for today?

My mother was like this - she'd have a thing of like, cheese, crackers and grapes, and if anyone was hungry she'd wave it off and be like "We'll serve the meal soon," and "soon" could mean two hours later.

Anonymous wrote:Me, my sister surprised me by cooking a meal for the family displacing all the ingredients I had for Christmas Day!

I was so happy she volunteered, but so embarrassed when I realized she had used the ingredients I was planning on using right before cooking.

.

Yikes!!!

I’m the OP who posted a couple of days ago that DCUM alerted me to this issue. My MIL is lovely person but has control issues.
I’ve just took charge, and so far so good. She keeps making side comments about fridge space and having too much food, but everyone’s getting fed and it’s fine. I’m ignoring. She’s an excellent cook but as she gets older her food issues have gotten worse.