OP, this is annoying last minute and I want to help you avoid the store. What's in your fridge and pantry? Im sure we can crowd source something low key.

Adding that if I had a strict diet of any kind I would be bringing my own food and I would never dream of imposing on a host. Last minute!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“We’ll have some vegetable sides, but I’ve already done all my shopping, so feel free to get yourselves groceries and anything you want to have on hand. If you had given me advance notice, I would have prepared, but at this stage I will not be running out to the store again. If that changes your desire to come over, I understand.”

This

+2 Perfect.

I would say the first two sentences but not the rest. You can say what you are willing to do without chastising him.

So he can do this all over again next time? No, thanks. He’s putting her in a bad position, and it’s OK to point that out in a direct way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“We’ll have some vegetable sides, but I’ve already done all my shopping, so feel free to get yourselves groceries and anything you want to have on hand. If you had given me advance notice, I would have prepared, but at this stage I will not be running out to the store again. If that changes your desire to come over, I understand.”

This

I'm all for accommodating guests dietary needs, but not last minute for a holiday meal. It's on him to accomodate, either by making dishes to bring to picking up something prepared. Team OP.

+1

My vegan friend won’t even eat food prepared on the same surface as meat so it would be impossible to accommodate her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plain. Dry spaghetti. How hospitable! Not passive aggressive at all.

Earth balance vegan butter is not bad. Maybe get an acorn squash to roast and green beans with vegan butter and lemon. Sautéed mushrooms with garlic to go over squash. Yes, it’s extra work - but not too much if your blanching beans anyway and will go a long way to having a more peaceful mealtime/visit.

You both sound pretty punchy btw

It's 12/23 and the shopping is done. Do you really think OP has an acorn squash, vegan butter, and mushrooms in the house?

I think that the grocery store is still open and even with online this is less than a 20 minute errand. I did my big grocery shop yesterday and I know will have to go pick up two more things tomorrow. That’s just how it works when you’re having a big family meal. There’s always something.

NP. The grocery store was a nightmare when I went yesterday. Line stretched all the way back through the produce section. This is not a 20-minute errand, and it’s extremely rude to spring something like this on your host at the last minute.

I also was at the grocery store yesterday. And I’m hosting myself. If my sibling was bringing someone and my going to the grocery store could make us all have a much better day, I would do it. And it’s not a long errand. It’s the mental load that is weighing everyone down. This is a really easy fix. Most of that food will be happening passively while other things are cooking. It’s a choice to not accommodate more than a hardship. And if there’s more than one adult in the home this is something that can be delegated.

Or they could compromise and OP could tell her brother, not a problem for me to add something GF can eat, could you run to the store and get the following items?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“We’ll have some vegetable sides, but I’ve already done all my shopping, so feel free to get yourselves groceries and anything you want to have on hand. If you had given me advance notice, I would have prepared, but at this stage I will not be running out to the store again. If that changes your desire to come over, I understand.”

This

+2 Perfect.

I would say the first two sentences but not the rest. You can say what you are willing to do without chastising him.

No need for last sentence. Indicates disdain and makes her feel unwelcome.

I probably wouldn't shop again, unless there was some sympathy inducing reason she let me know late (e.g. she had planned to travel but her family has covid).

But when I look at my menu, there's a lot I could make vegan pretty easily. We're having a salad where the only thing not vegan is goat's cheese, and honey in the dressing. I could separate some out before adding those ingredients, and offer here the balsamic I usually have in my fridge. I was planning on broccoli with pine nuts, lemon, and parmesan. I can put more pine nuts on one end of the pan, and no parmesan and give her a scoop from there. I can steam a few of the potatoes.

I also have some canned soup. I could check and see if any are vegan, probably the lentil or the minestrone. If so, I could make her a bowl to eat while we eat the soup I made that has buter.

Dessert would probably be the hardest. Maybe brother can be in charge of bringing something? You can get vegan sorbet at 7 11.

If I knew in advance, I'd make an actual entree. But I think lentil soup, broccoli, potatoes, and salad and some vegan sorbet would be plenty.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“We’ll have some vegetable sides, but I’ve already done all my shopping, so feel free to get yourselves groceries and anything you want to have on hand. If you had given me advance notice, I would have prepared, but at this stage I will not be running out to the store again. If that changes your desire to come over, I understand.”

This

+1 The new girlfriend has made a lifestyle choice. She needs to bear the brunt of her choice, not you, OP. Serve what you would normally serve and she can make her own decisions about what she will and will not eat.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plain. Dry spaghetti. How hospitable! Not passive aggressive at all.

Earth balance vegan butter is not bad. Maybe get an acorn squash to roast and green beans with vegan butter and lemon. Sautéed mushrooms with garlic to go over squash. Yes, it’s extra work - but not too much if your blanching beans anyway and will go a long way to having a more peaceful mealtime/visit.

You both sound pretty punchy btw

It's 12/23 and the shopping is done. Do you really think OP has an acorn squash, vegan butter, and mushrooms in the house?

I think that the grocery store is still open and even with online this is less than a 20 minute errand. I did my big grocery shop yesterday and I know will have to go pick up two more things tomorrow. That’s just how it works when you’re having a big family meal. There’s always something.

NP. The grocery store was a nightmare when I went yesterday. Line stretched all the way back through the produce section. This is not a 20-minute errand, and it’s extremely rude to spring something like this on your host at the last minute.

I also was at the grocery store yesterday. And I’m hosting myself. If my sibling was bringing someone and my going to the grocery store could make us all have a much better day, I would do it. And it’s not a long errand. It’s the mental load that is weighing everyone down. This is a really easy fix. Most of that food will be happening passively while other things are cooking. It’s a choice to not accommodate more than a hardship. And if there’s more than one adult in the home this is something that can be delegated.

I would go to the store and buy some vegan food - vegan veggie burgers, fruit and vegetables, vegan hummus, maybe sonpme frozen meals. Then let her help herself,

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plain. Dry spaghetti. How hospitable! Not passive aggressive at all.

Earth balance vegan butter is not bad. Maybe get an acorn squash to roast and green beans with vegan butter and lemon. Sautéed mushrooms with garlic to go over squash. Yes, it’s extra work - but not too much if your blanching beans anyway and will go a long way to having a more peaceful mealtime/visit.

You both sound pretty punchy btw

It's 12/23 and the shopping is done. Do you really think OP has an acorn squash, vegan butter, and mushrooms in the house?

I think that the grocery store is still open and even with online this is less than a 20 minute errand. I did my big grocery shop yesterday and I know will have to go pick up two more things tomorrow. That’s just how it works when you’re having a big family meal. There’s always something.

NP. The grocery store was a nightmare when I went yesterday. Line stretched all the way back through the produce section. This is not a 20-minute errand, and it’s extremely rude to spring something like this on your host at the last minute.

Vegan people are well-versed in bringing their own dishes to parties, this should be no different. If they want to brave the pre-Christmas crowds at the grocery store, so be it. OP should not have to do that as the host.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plain. Dry spaghetti. How hospitable! Not passive aggressive at all.

Earth balance vegan butter is not bad. Maybe get an acorn squash to roast and green beans with vegan butter and lemon. Sautéed mushrooms with garlic to go over squash. Yes, it’s extra work - but not too much if your blanching beans anyway and will go a long way to having a more peaceful mealtime/visit.

You both sound pretty punchy btw

It's 12/23 and the shopping is done. Do you really think OP has an acorn squash, vegan butter, and mushrooms in the house?

I think that the grocery store is still open and even with online this is less than a 20 minute errand. I did my big grocery shop yesterday and I know will have to go pick up two more things tomorrow. That’s just how it works when you’re having a big family meal. There’s always something.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“We’ll have some vegetable sides, but I’ve already done all my shopping, so feel free to get yourselves groceries and anything you want to have on hand. If you had given me advance notice, I would have prepared, but at this stage I will not be running out to the store again. If that changes your desire to come over, I understand.”

This

+2 Perfect.

I would say the first two sentences but not the rest. You can say what you are willing to do without chastising him.

Anonymous wrote:Make her a baked potato and some plain steamed green beans. If she wants more that’s on her.

Agree with this and the person who said "I've already done all my food shopping and am sorry to not be able to accommodate a last minute guest who has dietary restrictions beyond this, but she's welcome to bring whatever she wants to eat, and we have pb&j if she wants to put together a sandwich."