Anonymous
12/20/2021 09:29
Subject: Should DH take a pay cut if it’s his dream job?
Anonymous wrote:HHI $350k to $300k isn't too bad, IMO. Are we talking $30k in private school tuition or $100k for a few kids? If you can't cut back on tuition, you may have to find other ways to save. But at the $350k range, that's going to be things like an affordable car instead of a luxury one, or not eating out as much, or renting a beach house for vacation instead of flying to Italy for 2 weeks.
I agree that if your DH is very passionate about this, he may harbor resentment if you "say no." Draw up the budget first, and choose where to make cuts. Make sure you do not take the pain fully upon yourself (like cutting the house cleaners and then YOU do all the cleaning). If he has an expensive hobby or expensive car, then he needs to make the sacrifice.
+1. How much is the private school tuition? You guys should still be able to live a great life on $300K.
Anonymous
12/20/2021 09:25
Subject: Should DH take a pay cut if it’s his dream job?
Hahahaha, if OP were the DH and the DW was pursuing the dream job, it would be a total go. Poor schmuck.
Anonymous
12/20/2021 09:22
Subject: Should DH take a pay cut if it’s his dream job?
I personally would not take a pay cut for my "dream job."
Anonymous
12/20/2021 08:59
Subject: Should DH take a pay cut if it’s his dream job?
HHI $350k to $300k isn't too bad, IMO. Are we talking $30k in private school tuition or $100k for a few kids? If you can't cut back on tuition, you may have to find other ways to save. But at the $350k range, that's going to be things like an affordable car instead of a luxury one, or not eating out as much, or renting a beach house for vacation instead of flying to Italy for 2 weeks.
I agree that if your DH is very passionate about this, he may harbor resentment if you "say no." Draw up the budget first, and choose where to make cuts. Make sure you do not take the pain fully upon yourself (like cutting the house cleaners and then YOU do all the cleaning). If he has an expensive hobby or expensive car, then he needs to make the sacrifice.
I agree that if your DH is very passionate about this, he may harbor resentment if you "say no." Draw up the budget first, and choose where to make cuts. Make sure you do not take the pain fully upon yourself (like cutting the house cleaners and then YOU do all the cleaning). If he has an expensive hobby or expensive car, then he needs to make the sacrifice.
Anonymous
12/20/2021 08:39
Subject: Re:Should DH take a pay cut if it’s his dream job?
Definitely not for that big a pay cut. He has to look at the other pieces of as well, pension, days off. It is not worth it, especially if you have kids and even more so if there is tuition to pay.
Anonymous
12/20/2021 08:21
Subject: Should DH take a pay cut if it’s his dream job?
My short answer is yes - only because he will always think about the "one that go away." However, I truly caution him to go into the job without the rose colored glasses. All jobs have BS and this one will be no different. Good luck - it is exciting to have passion for a new gig.
Anonymous
12/20/2021 07:58
Subject: Should DH take a pay cut if it’s his dream job?
is he sure the nonprofit is a good place to work? I did this in my 20s and the nonprofit was so poorly run and it was soul crushing to realize. Like, I still won't make a donation to this nationally recognized org because how badly they treated their employees and how badly they mismanaged funds.
Anonymous
12/20/2021 07:12
Subject: Re:Should DH take a pay cut if it’s his dream job?
Hard pass. Absolutely not. That pay cut is way too large of a percentage of his pay. I worked for a nonprofit way back in the day and it is HARD work. I put way more hours into that job making a tiny salary than I do now making so much more in the private sector. Not all nonprofits are created equal and they are far from perfect/ideal. Are you sure he is not romanticizing it? I felt more used and abused as an employee at a nonprofit than at any other job I have ever held. So many of them actually prey on your good nature. I saw so much turnover in our staff because people just can't afford to do these jobs over the long run (particularly with housing and college costs rising) unless they are independently wealthy or have a spouse that makes a lot of money. I am also not convinced it will leverage him into a better paying job one day.
Anonymous
12/20/2021 07:03
Subject: Should DH take a pay cut if it’s his dream job?
No
Anonymous
12/20/2021 06:37
Subject: Should DH take a pay cut if it’s his dream job?
I think you need to decide in $300k is a HHI you can live happily at with the trade offs worth the difference in income. If he’s really unhappy in government and feels very strongly that the NGO mission and his role there are what he wants to devote his waking hours to, AND there are no red flags about the org, I’d consider it. There’s more to life than money and $300k is plenty to live on if you prioritize more than money. This is especially true if the org compensates with other good benefits and flexibility (many do).
That said, I wouldn’t do so lightly! I work at a non-profit that is a really good organization. Everyone is highly motivated to do good work, leadership is good, mission is important. I still tried for years to find a higher paying gov job but ultimately stayed because of the great flexibility. As I moved up to director and then VP it’s been better (especially the pay - $100k at director is what my org can pay too) but below that was hard for my family.
That said, I wouldn’t do so lightly! I work at a non-profit that is a really good organization. Everyone is highly motivated to do good work, leadership is good, mission is important. I still tried for years to find a higher paying gov job but ultimately stayed because of the great flexibility. As I moved up to director and then VP it’s been better (especially the pay - $100k at director is what my org can pay too) but below that was hard for my family.
Anonymous
12/20/2021 04:59
Subject: Should DH take a pay cut if it’s his dream job?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If you make 200k who cares [/quote
Op here. We have a special needs child and are paying a ton for private school tuition.
No way. Tuition only increases and he may need flexibility to support child. Stick with stable, better paying fed job. Volunteer in area of interest.
Anonymous
12/20/2021 00:06
Subject: Should DH take a pay cut if it’s his dream job?
No, because the pay cut is very real and could put him on the wrong track salary-wise permanently, while the dream may just be only a dream. Things that make him think this is a dream job could change at any time or he could just be fooling himself that this is the perfect job. If they really truly valued him then they would be paying him at his current market value.
Anonymous
12/20/2021 00:03
Subject: Should DH take a pay cut if it’s his dream job?
Non profits have a reputation for taking advantage and having outsized expectations for employees. There are good non profits but the fact that he's expected to take a huge pay cut is a real warning sign. It likely won't be just thr pay, I'd expect his hours to be very bad.
Anonymous
12/20/2021 00:01
Subject: Should DH take a pay cut if it’s his dream job?
Non for profit? Hell no. You can't afford it.
Anonymous
12/19/2021 23:57
Subject: Should DH take a pay cut if it’s his dream job?
That is not his dream job. He is fantasizing what his dream job is at a nonprofit organization. I am a career long nonprofit worker and there’s a lot of crap that goes on at nonprofits. That salary is terrible for him because the cut is huge. I’ve been trying to get in the government for 20 years.. so he is in a good place. If he really wants to do work related to a nonprofit, volunteer or do it when you retire but don’t take a near $50,000 pay cut for a pipe dream job that probably really isn’t a dream job he imagines it is.