Anonymous wrote:How old is he? From the op I was assuming a 13+ kid but it would be extremely uncommon for a teen not to have a smartphone at that point. How old?

He’s ten. It’s in the op near the end, easy to miss.

How old is he? From the op I was assuming a 13+ kid but it would be extremely uncommon for a teen not to have a smartphone at that point. How old?

Anonymous wrote:What is he "posting" on per your original post? Does he have access to social media or a smartphone? If so, there's your first mistake.

OP here. He does NOT have any social media or a smartphone. He has an IPAD that he is allowed to use for Roblox on weekends. But the thing is it almost doesn't matter when he is out of my house. He has friends with phones and they bring them to school. I know he watches stuff on the bus because his friends in the neighborhood do have phones.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I suspect that he is trying to impress the boys in his class. He is new to this school and the age is socially awkward. But it does NOT justify bullying or deleting work. I am so mad right now. I want to yell at him to cut it out but I know it's not going to solve anything. How do I handle this?

You need to talk to him when you are both calm. For one thing, your assumptions may not be correct at all. You need to approach this with a listening-not-lecturing tone. Something changed for him and you need to figure out why. And you need HIM to explain why he did what he did and for him to come to his own conclusions that his behavior isn't what he wants it to be. He's having a hard time, so approach it that way.

OP here. This is really good advice. Thank you!

That sudden? Check him for strep.

What were those memes posted on?

Get him off the internet.

Just adding…I have girls and boys and 5th grade seems like the absolute peak of the period where the girls complain about the boys being obnoxious, disruptive, mean, etc. puberty might actually help—in a couple years, they mature a little and start worrying about more about what the girls think of them. The maturity gap between kids generally and the boys-girls specifically is worst from 10-12.

Some other kid may have gotten positive feedback for similar behavior. If it was a new school this year, he may have been hanging back quietly for a couple months taking temp or waiting for friends to magically appear. He’s now found a model that seems popular that he is copying.
For the memes, is this a class chat type function? My kids’ schools have things where kids can have virtual conversations about a topic and each kid is required to make a post or two. Some kids think they are being funny. Sometimes they are, more often they aren’t. I think about how stand ups often have to try out their material in several different places before the refine it to be funny. And these kids are probably not the next great standup. The boys humor tends to be particularly bad and sadly they often do get positive feedback as the other boys egg them on for the shock value.

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like something happened alongside puberty. Will he talk to you about things?

Bullying? Trauma even? What does the teacher thing? I would try and get the school counselor involved because this sounds worth it.

+1

That sudden? Something happened.

PANDAS? Was he sick at all recently? If kid gets mild strep, no antibiotics, can get PANDAS.

I also saw recent thread about food additives making kids bonkers.

Some medications can cause behavior changes too - prednisone steroids, Singulair.

Good luck to you