Anonymous
Post 12/12/2021 13:01     Subject: Is this “boys will be boys” or an offense?
She could have had the same reaction over a group of friends dumping her or some other drama. Teenagers are just vulnerable in the mental health department.
Doesn’t make the boy an upstanding citizen though.
Anonymous
Post 12/12/2021 13:00     Subject: Is this “boys will be boys” or an offense?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Not all asshole behavior is a crime.

This boyfriend sounds like a tool but come on, saying “I’ll break up with you if you don’t have sex with me” is not rape. If she had been a little older and wiser she probably would have seen this for the red flag that it is. He was selfish. He sounds like a crappy boyfriend and not a great person. That doesn’t make him a rapist though.

I hope your niece gets help and I hope she stays away from the jerk guys in the future.


saying he'll break up with her can be considered a threat


I mean maybe?
Anonymous
Post 12/12/2021 13:00     Subject: Is this “boys will be boys” or an offense?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:LoIw self esteem on her part and he was too old for her. Not defending him, but we as parents/adults need to be protecting and advising our teens better.

And as a mother of a boy, I would be very suspicious if he starting dating girls that were many years younger than him in high school.


As the mother of a boy, I was pretty suspicious and not at all pleased when a 18 yr old senior (girl) started dating my 15 yr old sophomore. I did not allow her to drive him anywhere and kept a close eye on that--it didn't last long as a result.

What could have happened? Asking as a mom to a younger boy.
Anonymous
Post 12/12/2021 12:59     Subject: Is this “boys will be boys” or an offense?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote: Is what happened to her just poor judgment or self esteem on her part, or did the guy commit some kind of actionable offense against her?


No, it is poor judgement on HER PARENTS part.

14 year olds should not be dating 17-18 year olds. There is too much of a power differential.

I cannot believe you would blame this on poor judgement of a child. She is a victim. My sister went through something similar, where she was coerced into saying yes. 20 years later she still has trauma over it.

As far as legally, I would speak with an attorney and look into the statutory rape laws. If he broke up with her at graduation, presumably he was 18 and there may be legal action you can take.

And please don't ever question if sexual assault and rape are "boys being boys". If it's not a "HELL YES", then it's not a "yes".


+1,000 on the parents' judgment
Anonymous
Post 12/12/2021 12:58     Subject: Is this “boys will be boys” or an offense?
Anonymous wrote:Not all asshole behavior is a crime.

This boyfriend sounds like a tool but come on, saying “I’ll break up with you if you don’t have sex with me” is not rape. If she had been a little older and wiser she probably would have seen this for the red flag that it is. He was selfish. He sounds like a crappy boyfriend and not a great person. That doesn’t make him a rapist though.

I hope your niece gets help and I hope she stays away from the jerk guys in the future.


saying he'll break up with her can be considered a threat
Anonymous
Post 12/12/2021 12:54     Subject: Is this “boys will be boys” or an offense?
Anonymous wrote:Just because something cannot be proven to be a criminal offense doesn't mean it isn't an act worthy of unequivocal condemnation.

I am so sorry for your nice. I hope that this guy never touches another girl or woman. But he is probably just going to destroy more lives.


And just because the girl tells her parents and family she was pressured does not make it so. I bet the family is really concerned and upset about the cutting and to them the boyfriend must be the problem. She could have “felt“ that he would break up with her but who knows what was said. I really doubt a senior dating a freshman is going to break up over sex. You all forget this boy is a senior who could not date anyone in his grade or the two grades below. I bet he was virgin.
Anonymous
Post 12/12/2021 12:23     Subject: Is this “boys will be boys” or an offense?
Anonymous wrote:Not all asshole behavior is a crime.

This boyfriend sounds like a tool but come on, saying “I’ll break up with you if you don’t have sex with me” is not rape. If she had been a little older and wiser she probably would have seen this for the red flag that it is. He was selfish. He sounds like a crappy boyfriend and not a great person. That doesn’t make him a rapist though.

I hope your niece gets help and I hope she stays away from the jerk guys in the future.


+1 Exactly
Anonymous
Post 12/12/2021 12:18     Subject: Is this “boys will be boys” or an offense?
When he said he would break up with her if she didn't, ideally she would have had the knowledge and confidence to dump him then. Why was so set on staying with someone who treated her like crap.

Forget about him. Work on getting her well and strong.
Anonymous
Post 12/12/2021 12:14     Subject: Is this “boys will be boys” or an offense?
He sounds like a jerk AND it was poor judgment on her part.
Anonymous
Post 12/12/2021 12:10     Subject: Is this “boys will be boys” or an offense?
Anonymous wrote:LoIw self esteem on her part and he was too old for her. Not defending him, but we as parents/adults need to be protecting and advising our teens better.

And as a mother of a boy, I would be very suspicious if he starting dating girls that were many years younger than him in high school.


As the mother of a boy, I was pretty suspicious and not at all pleased when a 18 yr old senior (girl) started dating my 15 yr old sophomore. I did not allow her to drive him anywhere and kept a close eye on that--it didn't last long as a result.
Anonymous
Post 12/12/2021 12:06     Subject: Is this “boys will be boys” or an offense?
Low self esteem on her part and he was too old for her. Not defending him, but we as parents/adults need to be protecting and advising our teens better.

And as a mother of a boy, I would be very suspicious if he starting dating girls that were many years younger than him in high school.
Anonymous
Post 12/12/2021 12:02     Subject: Is this “boys will be boys” or an offense?
Not all asshole behavior is a crime.

This boyfriend sounds like a tool but come on, saying “I’ll break up with you if you don’t have sex with me” is not rape. If she had been a little older and wiser she probably would have seen this for the red flag that it is. He was selfish. He sounds like a crappy boyfriend and not a great person. That doesn’t make him a rapist though.

I hope your niece gets help and I hope she stays away from the jerk guys in the future.
Anonymous
Post 12/12/2021 11:58     Subject: Is this “boys will be boys” or an offense?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He should be reported and be charged with sexual assault! Boys will be boys is saying rape is all right.


It doesn’t sound like rape if she gave consent then regretted it later.



You do know that is rape if she feels pressured to have sex. You are allowed to change your mind even if you said yes before. I daw this video equating sex with tea. I can't find the video right now but anyone can if you google. Would you force an unconscious person to drink tea? No. Would you force them if they changed their mind? No. Yhats how sex should be viewed


But that was not the situation.

She did not want to but did it anyway to please him, women fo it all the time in marriages.

It’s not rape it immoral and she was naive.
Anonymous
Post 12/12/2021 11:56     Subject: Re:Is this “boys will be boys” or an offense?
Not boys will be boys he is an a-hole but it’s not rape.

Freshman should not date seniors, period.

Anonymous
Post 12/12/2021 11:56     Subject: Is this “boys will be boys” or an offense?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He should be reported and be charged with sexual assault! Boys will be boys is saying rape is all right.


It doesn’t sound like rape if she gave consent then regretted it later.



You do know that is rape if she feels pressured to have sex. You are allowed to change your mind even if you said yes before. I daw this video equating sex with tea. I can't find the video right now but anyone can if you google. Would you force an unconscious person to drink tea? No. Would you force them if they changed their mind? No. Yhats how sex should be viewed