foster first

DD begged for a dog. Cried to anyone who would listen how much she needed a dog in her life.

After a day or two, the dog could no longer compete with her Ipad. She has to be begged to brush/feed/walk the dog. Grown-ups are the one who had to get up with the dog multiple times a night when it was a puppy, we're the ones buying the food and toys, we're the ones taking it for long walks.

Bottom line: if you don't want a dog, do not get a dog. Don't do it just because they're asking for one.

If you have any interest in a dog, it could be a great thing for your family. But your feelings on this have to take priority since you will be the primary caregiver and you will have the dog alone once the kids are out of the house.

We got a puppy from a breeder about 18 months ago (I don’t trust adult rescue dogs after a bad experience - I know others have had great experiences). It was a crazy amount of work at first, along with dealing with my much younger children. But the dog has also brought a lot of love and joy into our house after some sad times we’ve experienced recently. The dog has helped my oldest daughter (early elementary) in particular - loves to hug and pet him when she’s sad. He’s also not much work now that he’s almost 2.

So, if you are realistic about all the work a puppy entails and prepared to do a lot of the work yourself, go for it!

One last thought - if your children are high school age, interested in a puppy, and responsible, you may want to target summer break as a option for getting one. When I was a freshman in high school, my family adopted a golden retriever puppy over the summer. I was excited about it, and had nothing else to do most days while my parents were at work, so I read a million puppy books and helped potty train the dog during the day. You’ll still end up doing most of the work once the kids are back in school and during the evenings of course.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the GR poster. Has anyone here not given in to this? I feel like the worst mom. I can't think of a single friend of my kids without a dog. I worry because they have been begging for so long and they're now in HS. DD begging for a puppy. We have said maybe for years now and never pulled trigger. Is this really bad or mean? I do think it will make my kids bond together more and be an awesome shared experience and teach them responsibility but not sure me or DH are cut out for a puppy or an unknown rescue. I'm losing sleep.

Don’t do it. A dog is a 15 year commitment and they will be out of the house soon, so it’s too late.

Tell them no. Firmly so they know the decision is made. Ignore all whining. (And why do they think continuing to ask will work - has it before? Why do you feel bad for saying no to a huge request like this?!)

+1.

YOU need to be the one wanting a dog since you will be doing all the considerable work. The DCs will be off to college very soon and HS is very very busy. So YOU got a puppy.

You need to sit everyone down and explain what a puppy entails. Someone needs to stay home with the puppy for the first two weeks, so usually families get one at the start of a vacation. It will entail getting up in the middle of the night for the first week or weeks, doing potty breaks every few hours during the day, watching the puppy like a veritable HAWK for the first month(s) in the house because they will get into everything and chew everything, including live electric cords, and things that can block their intestines and cause 10s of thousands of dollars in surgery. Training is exceedingly important, and needs to start as soon as you get the puppy: they need to taught to "come", "sit", "stay", "down", "wait", "leave it". They need to taught not to jump on people, or bark too much (this can be hard depending on the breed and the dog's personality). They need to be socialized with lots of different humans and dogs at a young age so that they don't become reactive or aggressive. Doggy daycare is great but expensive. And then everything needs to be reinforced when they become teens, which is when you add extra physical and mental stimulation otherwise they can also become reactive or aggressive.

So... do they really want to do this?
As teens, I would totally force them to do the walks with the dog, supervise and train the dog, etc. My own teen and tween have been able to help with our dog and all the foster dogs we've had in our house.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP if your kids are now in high school and you get a puppy, it'll be your dog alone for the last ten years of its life.

Get an adult rescue.

We have never had a dog I don't want to worry about what it's like. We aren't experienced

you don't have to be experienced to own a dog, I had no experience, I got a black lab, trained him for 14 months, he is now a therapy dog

But you wanted a dog. OP and her dh don’t. People with no experience and no desire to have a dog, and even some fear of dogs, are probably going to struggle with training.

OP, don’t feel guilty saying no to your kids on this! You should only get a dog if YOU want a dog, since you will be the primary and only caregiver when they go to college in a few years. When they are young adults with their own places they can get dogs then. You are not ruining their lives at all.

-pet lover whose parents said no to pets (which was a wise choice for them) and very happy adult cat owner

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP if your kids are now in high school and you get a puppy, it'll be your dog alone for the last ten years of its life.

Get an adult rescue.

We have never had a dog I don't want to worry about what it's like. We aren't experienced

you don't have to be experienced to own a dog, I had no experience, I got a black lab, trained him for 14 months, he is now a therapy dog

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP if your kids are now in high school and you get a puppy, it'll be your dog alone for the last ten years of its life.

Get an adult rescue.

+1 We did this and it's been great. Kids finally have the dog they begged for years for and I got an already housebroken and mellowed creature. The best of both worlds.

I think this is a good idea. We absolutely love our dog, but she’s a lot of work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our dog has been a godsend to our family. She has raised the happiness quotient in our home exponentially. The downside is that you will likely be the primary caregiver.

I love dogs but I *never* agree to get a dog if I'm not willing to be the primary caregiver. Don't believe children who tell you they will take care of it. If they end up doing that, consider it a lovely happenstance - but don't count on it.

+200. We caved and got a dog. She is so sweet and due to no work on our end, she is fairly well behaved and housetraining wasn’t bad (she STTN in her crate from day 1). My kids, who begged for the dog, love her and like to snuggle and will come on walks but don’t do much work at all.

Anonymous wrote:OP if your kids are now in high school and you get a puppy, it'll be your dog alone for the last ten years of its life.

Get an adult rescue.

+1 We did this and it's been great. Kids finally have the dog they begged for years for and I got an already housebroken and mellowed creature. The best of both worlds.

Anonymous wrote:Our dog has been a godsend to our family. She has raised the happiness quotient in our home exponentially. The downside is that you will likely be the primary caregiver.

I love dogs but I *never* agree to get a dog if I'm not willing to be the primary caregiver. Don't believe children who tell you they will take care of it. If they end up doing that, consider it a lovely happenstance - but don't count on it.

If your kids are in HS and you and your DH aren’t the ones who want a dog, I would say do not get one. Kids are so busy in HS, they won’t have the time to be the sole caregivers. You and your DH will have this dog for many years after they’re out of the house. If you’ve never had a dog, you will likely be overwhelmed and regret the decision. We are dog people and got a new puppy when our youngest graduated college, but DH and I were the ones who wanted it and knew exactly what we signed up for.

Anonymous wrote:OP if your kids are now in high school and you get a puppy, it'll be your dog alone for the last ten years of its life.

Get an adult rescue.

Get it after christmas when the doggie presents get returned...

Our rescue is a sweet girl, already came housebroken, gentle eater, etc. She's a fluffy friend so you don't feel alone at home. Also good at barking at strangers... so many benefits to a great dog. If you get it from rescues or the pound, the fosters and staff know the dogs and can tell you about any issues. Our girl liked to jump up on people but she's been trained to stop.