Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP your responses make it clear how you feel about your MIL. Ask yourself would you be as bitter if it were your own mother? It's a long time you'll have this woman in your life, if you're lucky, so you'd better lose your attitude now if you want your child to have a relationship with her. (And no, I'm not a mother in law, but a mother who couldn't stand her own mother in law.)

My mom listens when I speak and respects my decisions. So there's that. That's what I am bothered by: we communicated before and during the trip. When someone doesn't listen to you or doesn't respect your decisions, it is irritating and hurtful.

I'm not "bitter," I am annoyed and hurt. DH felt the same way--"Why won't she listen?"

I think I'll take the PP's suggestion that we will only stay in a hotel when we visit them, and suggest they stay in a hotel if they don't want to risk hearing a little disturbance until baby is 100% STTN even on travel.

Anonymous wrote:This is way too much getting up in the middle of the night. I have a 3 month old and do none of that. Baby is in bassinet, if it wakes, bring it into bed to nurse. Then we go back to sleep. Baby never cries (grunts and moans- I don’t let it get to a cry), Dh never wakes up. I get going to the bathroom though. By 4 months the routine should be down and pretty seamless. I’m on my 3rd baby too and not great sleepers.

But yeah your mil is crazy and nosy. I also think it’s gross that they have their bedroom door open when guests are there. Dh should tell her to stop.

Anonymous wrote:OP your responses make it clear how you feel about your MIL. Ask yourself would you be as bitter if it were your own mother? It's a long time you'll have this woman in your life, if you're lucky, so you'd better lose your attitude now if you want your child to have a relationship with her. (And no, I'm not a mother in law, but a mother who couldn't stand her own mother in law.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We drove 5+ hours to visit ILs with our 4mo baby over Thanksgiving. We stayed in a back bedroom and were as quiet as possible, but of course baby cried a bit at night, especially in a new environment.

EVERY single night, MIL would get up and prowl around and full-voiced ask questions and "check in" when we told her all was under control and to go back to bed. Our routine is that DH changes the diaper while I go to the restroom, and then I breastfeed while DH goes to the restroom and goes back to sleep, then I put the baby down and go back to sleep. The most the crying ever lasted was four minutes. And baby only woke once each night.

ILs sleep with their door open and refused to close it, and also refused my offer of a white noise machine that I brought along, as I could also just use the app on my phone.

Both before the visit and after the first night, we explained our routine and that the crying would only last for a few minutes during the diaper change. Each night, MIL would be walking down the hall toward our bedroom as I went to the bathroom, and I would whisper to her all is well, go back to bed, we've got this.

Finally, on the last night, I had had more than enough of MIL prowling around, speaking loudly and just generally being a nuisance. So when I was walking down the hall, as she loudly asked "What's wrong? What's going on?" I simply brushed past her, said nothing, went to the bathroom, and ignored her again on my way back to the bedroom.

She is now pissed at me, and I'm just as pissed at her. DH is sticking up for me, saying "Mom, we kept telling you it was fine, we asked that you close your door and even offered you a white noise machine." He then added (without asking me) that we won't be visiting again until baby is solidly STTN, that they can visit us if they want because they'll be in our finished basement guest suite and won't hear us upstairs if there is noise in the night.

WWYD?

Expand on the bolded, please.

Did you intentionally bump into her or what do you mean by brushing past her? I hope not.

Anonymous wrote:We drove 5+ hours to visit ILs with our 4mo baby over Thanksgiving. We stayed in a back bedroom and were as quiet as possible, but of course baby cried a bit at night, especially in a new environment.

EVERY single night, MIL would get up and prowl around and full-voiced ask questions and "check in" when we told her all was under control and to go back to bed. Our routine is that DH changes the diaper while I go to the restroom, and then I breastfeed while DH goes to the restroom and goes back to sleep, then I put the baby down and go back to sleep. The most the crying ever lasted was four minutes. And baby only woke once each night.

ILs sleep with their door open and refused to close it, and also refused my offer of a white noise machine that I brought along, as I could also just use the app on my phone.

Both before the visit and after the first night, we explained our routine and that the crying would only last for a few minutes during the diaper change. Each night, MIL would be walking down the hall toward our bedroom as I went to the bathroom, and I would whisper to her all is well, go back to bed, we've got this.

Finally, on the last night, I had had more than enough of MIL prowling around, speaking loudly and just generally being a nuisance. So when I was walking down the hall, as she loudly asked "What's wrong? What's going on?" I simply brushed past her, said nothing, went to the bathroom, and ignored her again on my way back to the bedroom.

She is now pissed at me, and I'm just as pissed at her. DH is sticking up for me, saying "Mom, we kept telling you it was fine, we asked that you close your door and even offered you a white noise machine." He then added (without asking me) that we won't be visiting again until baby is solidly STTN, that they can visit us if they want because they'll be in our finished basement guest suite and won't hear us upstairs if there is noise in the night.

WWYD?

Anonymous wrote:She wanted to help. Give her a break and include her. Geez.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, sounds like you were the rude one.

Nope, not after several nights of telling her all was well and that they would handle it, AND telling them even before the visit that all would be well and they would handle it. Nope, continuing to bother people when they have a situation totally in hand is not helpful, it's just trying to get attention and "be important." Get your validation elsewhere, and leave parents of babies alone.

Anonymous wrote:She wanted to help. Give her a break and include her. Geez.

Anonymous wrote:My mother always woke up and prowled around when we were similarly situated, but she WANTED TO, and never gave us grief for it. What exactly is yours pissed about? The wake-ups or that you seemed annoyed at her presence?