Anonymous
11/30/2021 12:50
Subject: Can anything be done about inequitable will?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Make an appointment with Debby Cochran in Tysons. She will tell you. If you are the trustee, you will have some discretion. I know Bc my aunt is my trustee and she spends the money. What am I going to do, sue her?
I might sue my aunt in that scenario. How much is in the trust and how much is she skimming?
Skimming implies taking money for their own use but trustees do have the right to be paid, and really should be paid because it is a time consuming and thankless job if you are not a beneficiary of the trust. If a bank is trustee, I can guarantee you that they will be paid generously.
There is a lot of variation in trustee fees, but, yes, they can be fairly substantial.
https://www.alllaw.com/articles/nolo/wills-trusts/payment-serving-executor.html
Anonymous
11/30/2021 12:42
Subject: Can anything be done about inequitable will?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Make an appointment with Debby Cochran in Tysons. She will tell you. If you are the trustee, you will have some discretion. I know Bc my aunt is my trustee and she spends the money. What am I going to do, sue her?
I might sue my aunt in that scenario. How much is in the trust and how much is she skimming?
Skimming implies taking money for their own use but trustees do have the right to be paid, and really should be paid because it is a time consuming and thankless job if you are not a beneficiary of the trust. If a bank is trustee, I can guarantee you that they will be paid generously.
Anonymous
11/30/2021 12:42
Subject: Re:Can anything be done about inequitable will?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What are the terms of the trust? If you can use the money for things that will benefit both children together that would be ideal. Family vacation - renovation to the family house - family vehicle etc. This only really works while your daughter is a minor. But I would try to balance it out as best I could between my own children. I wouldn't want to treat my children differently but depending on if and when you daughter will gain full access to the trust money you need to educate her in how to manage the money. If its just a free for all when she turns 18 she is going to need some guidance or she will just blow through it. I'm not sure there is much you can do for your nephew.
No
The money was left to a specific person, you cannot just take a kids money and spend on as family vacation. WTF!!!!
People like this just have no clue how most trusts operate.
Anonymous
11/30/2021 11:51
Subject: Can anything be done about inequitable will?
Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t pressure her to spend her money on the others or give it to them because it’s more fair, that would be a lot of pressure to place on her. I’d assume the money is there for college and save for other children and don’t let it affect relationships.
THIS!!!!
Anonymous
11/30/2021 11:50
Subject: Re:Can anything be done about inequitable will?
Anonymous wrote:What are the terms of the trust? If you can use the money for things that will benefit both children together that would be ideal. Family vacation - renovation to the family house - family vehicle etc. This only really works while your daughter is a minor. But I would try to balance it out as best I could between my own children. I wouldn't want to treat my children differently but depending on if and when you daughter will gain full access to the trust money you need to educate her in how to manage the money. If its just a free for all when she turns 18 she is going to need some guidance or she will just blow through it. I'm not sure there is much you can do for your nephew.
No
The money was left to a specific person, you cannot just take a kids money and spend on as family vacation. WTF!!!!
Anonymous
11/30/2021 11:48
Subject: Can anything be done about inequitable will?
[/b]Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Well, don't tell her or the other kids about it until you absolutely have to (whatever age she legally gets it). That way it minimizes the time for knowledge of her windfall to influence her future planning. Like, if she doesn't find out until she is 18 and accepted to college, almost finished with high school that's something.
A[b]bsolutely agree with this. Legally you have no recourse, OP. Just be grateful one child is fully taken care of, and focus on saving for your other child. It's not a bad lesson to learn that things in life are not generally fair etc. but both of your kids will still end up with more resources than most!
+1. I knew two kids who inherited millions at 21 from a grandparent. Because they knew it was coming they never developed their own talents - didn't go to a 4 year college, but art school - and the other never attended college. They just lied in wait for the money. Then other people took advantage of them because they knew they were loaded.
Anonymous
11/30/2021 11:43
Subject: Can anything be done about inequitable will?
Anonymous wrote:Well, don't tell her or the other kids about it until you absolutely have to (whatever age she legally gets it). That way it minimizes the time for knowledge of her windfall to influence her future planning. Like, if she doesn't find out until she is 18 and accepted to college, almost finished with high school that's something.
Absolutely agree with this. Legally you have no recourse, OP. Just be grateful one child is fully taken care of, and focus on saving for your other child. It's not a bad lesson to learn that things in life are not generally fair etc. but both of your kids will still end up with more resources than most!
Anonymous
11/30/2021 11:39
Subject: Re:Can anything be done about inequitable will?
Just to throw out another point of view….It sounds like he may have felt or believed he had a close relationship with your oldest child. This was his choice with his life savings. On what basis would you challenge the trust? Beneficiaries can agree to certain changes in some scenarios, but only your daughter is a beneficiary and she’s a minor.
Anonymous
11/30/2021 10:32
Subject: Can anything be done about inequitable will?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Make an appointment with Debby Cochran in Tysons. She will tell you. If you are the trustee, you will have some discretion. I know Bc my aunt is my trustee and she spends the money. What am I going to do, sue her?
I might sue my aunt in that scenario. How much is in the trust and how much is she skimming?
Yes, PP that’s just messy. Don’t recommend.
Anonymous
11/30/2021 10:32
Subject: Can anything be done about inequitable will?
Anonymous wrote:Make an appointment with Debby Cochran in Tysons. She will tell you. If you are the trustee, you will have some discretion. I know Bc my aunt is my trustee and she spends the money. What am I going to do, sue her?
I might sue my aunt in that scenario. How much is in the trust and how much is she skimming?
Anonymous
11/30/2021 10:26
Subject: Can anything be done about inequitable will?
Make an appointment with Debby Cochran in Tysons. She will tell you. If you are the trustee, you will have some discretion. I know Bc my aunt is my trustee and she spends the money. What am I going to do, sue her?
Anonymous
11/30/2021 10:23
Subject: Can anything be done about inequitable will?
Anonymous wrote:FWIW, we were able to change a multi-million irrevocable trust this year with all beneficiaries in agreement. Since your daughter is a minor that probably isn't possible now but it might be in the future. The rules on decanting a trust have changed in recent years, making it easier for beneficiaries to change the terms. Who is the trustee? That decision is key. You probably want a trustee, hopefully a family member, that will allow for liberal distributions so that you can do things like take family vacations that benefit your daughter but also your other children, as pp mentioned.
She’s the sole beneficiary or so it sounds like so you will have to wait until she is 18. She can’t give legal consent now, and if you give it on her behalf to give money to your other kids, you’re conflicted. So that wouldn’t work.
Anonymous
11/30/2021 10:20
Subject: Can anything be done about inequitable will?
Anonymous wrote:FWIW, we were able to change a multi-million irrevocable trust this year with all beneficiaries in agreement. Since your daughter is a minor that probably isn't possible now but it might be in the future. The rules on decanting a trust have changed in recent years, making it easier for beneficiaries to change the terms. Who is the trustee? That decision is key. You probably want a trustee, hopefully a family member, that will allow for liberal distributions so that you can do things like take family vacations that benefit your daughter but also your other children, as pp mentioned.
Just hope that she's ok with it once she reaches her minority. Otherwise, she can turn around and sue the trustees to recoup expenses paid contrary to the rules of the trust.
Anonymous
11/30/2021 10:18
Subject: Can anything be done about inequitable will?
I wouldn’t pressure her to spend her money on the others or give it to them because it’s more fair, that would be a lot of pressure to place on her. I’d assume the money is there for college and save for other children and don’t let it affect relationships.
Anonymous
11/30/2021 10:13
Subject: Can anything be done about inequitable will?
FWIW, we were able to change a multi-million irrevocable trust this year with all beneficiaries in agreement. Since your daughter is a minor that probably isn't possible now but it might be in the future. The rules on decanting a trust have changed in recent years, making it easier for beneficiaries to change the terms. Who is the trustee? That decision is key. You probably want a trustee, hopefully a family member, that will allow for liberal distributions so that you can do things like take family vacations that benefit your daughter but also your other children, as pp mentioned.