Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you all for your feedback. It is new to me that there are people who would deliberately not view the Evite invitations because they know the host can see it. I am nervous because I don't know half the parents and I was hesitant to organize this to begin with. I considered inviting his preschool friends but they have all gone to different elementary schools and we have not kept in touch. It was nice to organize his preschool parties because I knew the other parents so well and can count on them for coming. I guess it is a different ball game when it's kindergarten. FWIW, it is an outdoor bday party. I really regretted doing this.

It will all work out, don’t worry!

FWIW in the past when we have had light attendance (2 of my DC have birthdays near major holidays), I’ve rustled up other friends and their kids (even if not same age), neighbor or colleague’s kids (again, even if not same age), friends of my other DC, etc. It never seemed particularly weird- “hey we are having a party for Larlo on Saturday! I know it’s short notice but we’d love for you to come!”

I have also found that several people always end up rsvp’ing like 2 days before (or not rsvp’ing at all and just showing up).

One year we only had maybe 5 kids attend (invited 15ish...all the boys in his class plus a few others we knew) and it was actually great. My kid did not care.

Evite is notorious for going to spam folders, and people don't always check those regularly, so it can get buried pretty easily (especially over the holidays). Email the parents directly.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you all for your feedback. It is new to me that there are people who would deliberately not view the Evite invitations because they know the host can see it. I am nervous because I don't know half the parents and I was hesitant to organize this to begin with. I considered inviting his preschool friends but they have all gone to different elementary schools and we have not kept in touch. It was nice to organize his preschool parties because I knew the other parents so well and can count on them for coming. I guess it is a different ball game when it's kindergarten. FWIW, it is an outdoor bday party. I really regretted doing this.

I’m sorry, OP, I had a similar experience when my son was in kindergarten. Is the party this weekend? Definitely talk to the teacher to see if she can suggest kids your son gets along with, and email other parents directly. Let them know your trying to get a headcount. I bet the evite slipped through the cracks b/c of the holiday too.

On the other hand, these parents could've intentionally ignored it. We experienced this as well. Another idea is to ask the teacher to identify a few kids that your child plays with...then follow up directly with the parents.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you all for your feedback. It is new to me that there are people who would deliberately not view the Evite invitations because they know the host can see it. I am nervous because I don't know half the parents and I was hesitant to organize this to begin with. I considered inviting his preschool friends but they have all gone to different elementary schools and we have not kept in touch. It was nice to organize his preschool parties because I knew the other parents so well and can count on them for coming. I guess it is a different ball game when it's kindergarten. FWIW, it is an outdoor bday party. I really regretted doing this.

I understand how you feel but if your kid really wants a party then your effort on this will probably be worth it just to see them happy! My kid just had a birthday and really wanted a party but we convinced him to go on a fun family outing instead bc 1) covid, 2) it’s really cold where we live (not dc area) so outdoor party didn’t sound appealing, 3) we’re new to the area and the school and don’t know parents personally. We had a great family outing on his bday weekend and he really enjoyed it BUT he still says he wishes he’d had a party instead there’s just no replacement for a bday party w schoolmates/friends. I hope it works out for you, OP.

OP here. Thank you all for your feedback. It is new to me that there are people who would deliberately not view the Evite invitations because they know the host can see it. I am nervous because I don't know half the parents and I was hesitant to organize this to begin with. I considered inviting his preschool friends but they have all gone to different elementary schools and we have not kept in touch. It was nice to organize his preschool parties because I knew the other parents so well and can count on them for coming. I guess it is a different ball game when it's kindergarten. FWIW, it is an outdoor bday party. I really regretted doing this.

This is one of many reasons I don't like evite, people ignore Evite and it frequently goes into spam folders. I typically create an invitation in Canva or Paperless Post and place the image in an email to parents asking them to RSVP by text or email.

If it's only a few people or if you have a lot of time on your hands, you can send individual emails with subject line: John is invited to Jason's Birthday Party!

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand these people! When we get an invite, I check our calendar right away, respond yes or no, and add it to our calendar. It’s not that hard.

My son sports calendar has not been released yet. And it starts in two weeks. My in-laws are coming in town, but haven’t settled on the exact date yet. I’m having minor surgery on Friday, and I have no idea what my recovery will look like. There’s lots of reasons why I don’t respond right away.
Also, Evite usually ends up in my junk folder.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand these people! When we get an invite, I check our calendar right away, respond yes or no, and add it to our calendar. It’s not that hard.

NP: I always did the same when my kids were all early elementary. Then came sports...we are often waiting on game schedules (and/or DH and I need to coordinate or find carpool because of a siblings game schedule).

If I don’t know if my kid can make it, I wait to rsvp until closer to the deadline IF it’s a big party AND my kid is not close with the birthday child.

If a small party and/or my kid is good friends with birthday child: I text the parent directly and explain that my child very much wants to attend, we are waiting on xyz, and I will let you know for sure ASAP and give a near date”

I go the extra mile with close friends or small parties (have BTDT!) because I know those are a bit more nerve wracking. For the whole class venue parties I felt I had more leeway.

+1

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand these people! When we get an invite, I check our calendar right away, respond yes or no, and add it to our calendar. It’s not that hard.

Give me a break. Some class invitations arrive before I’ve had a chance to finalize higher priority commitments. I would rather people sort out their calendars first than rsvp yes and change it a day before the party. I send invitations on the early side to put it on people’s radar but I don’t expect everyone to commit the second they see the invitation.

It doesn’t help now, but FWIW:

I found it much easier to email each parent a personal invitation (just copy paste the name) with an invitation in the body of the email (not an attachment). I very very rarely had a parent not respond that way. Usually quickly too.

More work on the front end but can be done for a whole class in 10min.

“Hi! We would like to invite “insert kids name” to Larla’s 8th birthday party on May 11th. The party will be at jumpyjoint USA from 11am-1pm. Lunch and cake will be served. Blah blah. Please let us know if you can make it!”

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand these people! When we get an invite, I check our calendar right away, respond yes or no, and add it to our calendar. It’s not that hard.

NP: I always did the same when my kids were all early elementary. Then came sports...we are often waiting on game schedules (and/or DH and I need to coordinate or find carpool because of a siblings game schedule).

If I don’t know if my kid can make it, I wait to rsvp until closer to the deadline IF it’s a big party AND my kid is not close with the birthday child.

If a small party and/or my kid is good friends with birthday child: I text the parent directly and explain that my child very much wants to attend, we are waiting on xyz, and I will let you know for sure ASAP and give a near date”

I go the extra mile with close friends or small parties (have BTDT!) because I know those are a bit more nerve wracking. For the whole class venue parties I felt I had more leeway.

I don’t understand these people! When we get an invite, I check our calendar right away, respond yes or no, and add it to our calendar. It’s not that hard.

Anonymous wrote:Send a reminder through Evite and they will probably see it or be reminded to respond.

Unless evite mail is going into their junk folder.

Anonymous wrote:When is the party? I've been on the party circuit for many years and have heard many people say they deliberately don't open the invitation right away because they know they aren't ready to commit and they know the host can see they've opened it.

Could also have gone to spam; either way, send an email to follow up.

+1, I don’t open the invitation until I’m ready to commit b/c it somehow feels worse to me to show the host that I’ve read it but haven’t rsvp’d. I also feel annoyed when hosts follow up after the evite if the party is still 2+weeks away. But if the party is a week away, yes, follow up b/c you need a head count. My guess is no one spent much/any time on email over the holiday weekend. And if the party is at a public indoor venue, some may have hesitation if kids won’t be fully vaccinated by then.

Good luck OP.