Anonymous wrote:It matters not.

I’ve been here for 20 years, I’ll be here for 20 more.

Yeah there comes a time in your life when you simply stop caring about it. I couldn't care less what my MIL thinks of me. It really isn't important.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really curious how your MIL treats your SIL better.

Umm let’s see. Does not exclude her from conversations. Lets sil talks about things without interrupting. Does not tell her hubby that he didn’t sit with her while starting at sil. Does not ask her son to lay down on her lap. Yes she is extremely weird and has said and done this stuff to me. Does not ask her other son for money etc and the list goes on and on.

Oh you are the weird poster obsessed with mothers and sons and laps.

The head of the table poster?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really curious how your MIL treats your SIL better.

Umm let’s see. Does not exclude her from conversations. Lets sil talks about things without interrupting. Does not tell her hubby that he didn’t sit with her while starting at sil. Does not ask her son to lay down on her lap. Yes she is extremely weird and has said and done this stuff to me. Does not ask her other son for money etc and the list goes on and on.

Oh you are the weird poster obsessed with mothers and sons and laps.

It matters not.

I’ve been here for 20 years, I’ll be here for 20 more.

I’m the favored DIL in my husband’s family and it’s widely known and openly discussed that they don’t care much for their other DIL, my husband’s brother’s wife. It’s not really about anything I did or didn’t do it’s just that I’m a much nicer and more considerate person than she is and much easier to get along w…she is very moody, speaks her mind no matter what/doesn’t know how to hold her tongue, has a bad temper, is demanding, pushy/bossy, complains constantly, expects others to wait on her, and constantly picks fights w my BIL in front of others. Even when I am just showing basic decency to others I easily am more pleasant than she is. It’s actually too bad. I wish she was nicer. I always wanted a sister and I’d love for my BIL, FIL, MIL to have a nicer wife/DIL.

22:01 and small backstory to add that my MIL thought that I’d see her as a big sister, new best friend or perhaps another mother. Well, I had all three already and when she realized that I was smarter, more independent and outspoken than she presumed, I believe she didn’t know HOW to proceed and so took to being rude and condescending.

As a newlywed, I had to establish boundaries and say no and stand up to her - she was (and still is) a self-focused and selfish person with a narrow worldview. So before SIL was officially my SIL, MIL actively attempted a BFF relationship with her-and it worked. Of course, MIL had to talk non stop about how great SIL is - to me.

This was the dynamic for years; DH and I had been married for 10 years and 2DC when my new SIL came into the family.
Instant hit w/ MIL! They became besties! Shopping buddies! Called each other daily! Hung out together. Then SIL had 2 DC - same thing - MIL babysat, talked on and on about how SIL was so active, energetic, busy!

Then - SIL and BIL separated/divorced and things became beyond contentious. MIL slow to switch allegiances and undermined her own son. Then a court case:MIL couldn’t/didn’t see her GC for months. Eventually resolved but MIL hasn’t spoken to SIL in years.

So now with time being the great equalizer, exSIL and I rank about the same with MIL.

Anonymous wrote:Raises hand! Oh, wait, they only have one DIL. Still, I promise if they had another, they'd like her more than me.

Ha-ha PP.

My MIL is nice fortunately but your post was too funny not to thank you for it!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really curious how your MIL treats your SIL better.

Umm let’s see. Does not exclude her from conversations. Lets sil talks about things without interrupting. Does not tell her hubby that he didn’t sit with her while starting at sil. Does not ask her son to lay down on her lap. Yes she is extremely weird and has said and done this stuff to me. Does not ask her other son for money etc and the list goes on and on.

Well if being the favorite SIL means she asks their husband/her son to put his head in her lap, my husband & I would both be happy not to be fav SIL

I’m not the favorite DIL. I don’t care. I’ve had to set boundaries my MIL doesn’t like on behalf of my kids (like, oh IDK, not letting her give them food they are allergic to).

I’m 100% confident I’m making the right choices for my kids and my marriage (and my own mental well being). Doing so means I am not the favorite, and that is OK. I am as nice as I can be while still keeping true to what is best for my family.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it's you, and not them?

I used to think that too. But realized after 20 plus years of trying that it is them.

Anonymous wrote:Really curious how your MIL treats your SIL better.

Umm let’s see. Does not exclude her from conversations. Lets sil talks about things without interrupting. Does not tell her hubby that he didn’t sit with her while starting at sil. Does not ask her son to lay down on her lap. Yes she is extremely weird and has said and done this stuff to me. Does not ask her other son for money etc and the list goes on and on.

Anonymous wrote:Be your genuine self AND nice to everyone - then you will have no issues.

Unless your "genuine self" is nasty and unpleasant. Then you be your fake self AND be nice to everyone.

Be your genuine self AND nice to everyone - then you will have no issues.

Unless your "genuine self" is nasty and unpleasant. Then you be your fake self AND be nice to everyone.

My in-laws change which DIL is the favorite acc to how much they feel each DIL is raising their grandchildren the way the in-laws feel they should be raised. I am usually in third - and last - place in their book. I’m ok with that.