Anonymous
Post 11/28/2021 20:22     Subject: Is there a polite way to tell waiter/waitress you want zero small talk?
Just smile and nod. They will get the picture right away. Everyone is socially awkward now, it's ok. It's really not a big deal! ‐ server
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2021 20:21     Subject: Re:Is there a polite way to tell waiter/waitress you want zero small talk?
Anonymous wrote:Say this politely and in an apologetic tone (as opposed to an annoyed tone). It will convey the meaning and not annoy the server.

"Excuse me, do you mind? We came here to have some private conversation. Thanks."


That seems kinda rude to me. Just suck it up and be nice to the server. Most won't have time to talk too long to you anyway. Just be a decent human being. Eesh.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2021 20:17     Subject: Re:Is there a polite way to tell waiter/waitress you want zero small talk?
Say this politely and in an apologetic tone (as opposed to an annoyed tone). It will convey the meaning and not annoy the server.

"Excuse me, do you mind? We came here to have some private conversation. Thanks."
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2021 20:07     Subject: Is there a polite way to tell waiter/waitress you want zero small talk?
Anonymous wrote:Just be concise with each order. And don’t engage in chit chat.


This. They generally don’t want to chit chat either. When I was a server the only time I did this was when guests would pepper me
With questions. Are you at student? What are you studying? Where are you from? Oh I have a brother who lives there. And so on
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2021 19:25     Subject: Is there a polite way to tell waiter/waitress you want zero small talk?
Where is that brunch place where servers have time to chit-chat?
How often does it happen to you? I've had it happen maybe once in 25 years.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2021 19:08     Subject: Is there a polite way to tell waiter/waitress you want zero small talk?
Just be concise with each order. And don’t engage in chit chat.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2021 18:33     Subject: Is there a polite way to tell waiter/waitress you want zero small talk?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:There is no way to actually say this without being rude.




Not true. I was a waitress. Just say something like “hey we totally appreciate it but we’re here to discuss something important. We’re definitely not trying to be rude we just have to manage our time and we will tip 20% minimum. We just have to focus our conversation on each other. We will wave you down if we need you”


That's fairly verbose and I would feel really awkward saying all of that.


This. While I always tip 20%-30% at restaurants, I’m sure not announcing that at the beginning of the meal.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2021 18:23     Subject: Re:Is there a polite way to tell waiter/waitress you want zero small talk?
you should be nice to people who handle your food
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2021 18:17     Subject: Is there a polite way to tell waiter/waitress you want zero small talk?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:There is no way to actually say this without being rude.




Not true. I was a waitress. Just say something like “hey we totally appreciate it but we’re here to discuss something important. We’re definitely not trying to be rude we just have to manage our time and we will tip 20% minimum. We just have to focus our conversation on each other. We will wave you down if we need you”


That's fairly verbose and I would feel really awkward saying all of that.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2021 18:16     Subject: Re:Is there a polite way to tell waiter/waitress you want zero small talk?
Is it okay to order all drinks and food up front when you first sit and hand them the credit card to close out? As in, would that signal you're you're in a hurry and not interested in chatting, to avoid actually saying please don't speak to us?
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2021 18:09     Subject: Re:Is there a polite way to tell waiter/waitress you want zero small talk?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Just be brief in your responses and physically turn yourself body away from the serve when you’re done speaking. Or you can just smile vaguely when s/he says something. They will get the picture.


Agreed. And if that doesn't work, try "hey, I appreciate your help, but my mind's on something else, and I'm not up for talking. Don't mean to be rude, and thank you." Or something like that.


This. There is really no polite way for it, but at least this is kind.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2021 18:07     Subject: Is there a polite way to tell waiter/waitress you want zero small talk?
Agree that there’s no way to do this without seeming like a jerk. But I totally am there with you. The first time we went out to dinner in over a year recently, my DH made the mistake of telling the waiter, when he asked, that I had several food sensitivity and listing them off. I smiled and said no it’s fine I can eat anything I’ll just pick items that look the least likely to bother me. We’ll, the waiter went into painstaking detail about all the ingredients and I tried to stop him average times saying it’s really ok, nothing will kill me it’s all fine. This went on even for the dessert menu. Suffice it to say my DH knows NOT to bring up my food sensitivity ever again at a restaurant.
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2021 18:06     Subject: Is there a polite way to tell waiter/waitress you want zero small talk?
That’s why I can’t wait for more self order self pay restaurants
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2021 18:05     Subject: Is there a polite way to tell waiter/waitress you want zero small talk?
Larry David has discovered DCUM!
Anonymous
Post 11/28/2021 18:01     Subject: Is there a polite way to tell waiter/waitress you want zero small talk?
Anonymous wrote:There is no way to actually say this without being rude.




Not true. I was a waitress. Just say something like “hey we totally appreciate it but we’re here to discuss something important. We’re definitely not trying to be rude we just have to manage our time and we will tip 20% minimum. We just have to focus our conversation on each other. We will wave you down if we need you”