Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's projecting. He knows he's being inappropriate with Lauren.Trust that behavior didn't just start. He knows he's inappropriate so he assumes you are to thus the fight. He will try to blame you for his inappropriate behavior.

You are 36 and I assume you are dating for marriage, but even if you aren't don't waste Time on immature men let them go at the first sign of nonsense you don't have to to entertain drama and jealousy and fights to have a relationship. You deserve more.

She's 26. And agree he is projecting big time.

She shouldn't waste her 20s on this guy then.

Anonymous wrote:Dump him. Seriously. I dated a guy like this. Save yourself the drama. He’s a narcissist. He likely trashes his ex girlfriends which is another red flag. Run. You deserve better. I bet if you thought about it, you’d find the other red flags you’ve been dismissing. Don’t question or doubt yourself on this one. You posted for a reason. Get out.

I honestly cant think of many other red flags. He's usually very sweet and attentive. The only possible red flag is that he's pushed for commitment very early on- wanted to be exclusive/monogramous very soon after meeting, and has wanted to get engaged for a while now (i think we're too young). He seemed like he just "knew" very early, before i did. Only other red flag I can think of is he is very bad at expressing emotions and seems to express himself better through sex, if that makes sense. I think he has a very hard time verbalizing when he gets upset and tends to shut down.

So I do wonder if it's my fault for not assuring him better. I could tell it was bothering him but I didnt expect him to do something like this. Im not sure if it counts as cheating or not...

Anonymous wrote:He's projecting. He knows he's being inappropriate with Lauren.Trust that behavior didn't just start. He knows he's inappropriate so he assumes you are to thus the fight. He will try to blame you for his inappropriate behavior.

You are 36 and I assume you are dating for marriage, but even if you aren't don't waste Time on immature men let them go at the first sign of nonsense you don't have to to entertain drama and jealousy and fights to have a relationship. You deserve more.

She's 26. And agree he is projecting big time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could definitely see why a man would be bothered by a super flirty coworker. A certain level of jealousy is normal and in fact good when it comes to a romantic relationship. But I do wonder why he has to go about it in passive aggressive terms, rather than communicating directly. Does he have issues communicating his feelings elsewhere?

A certain level of jealousy leading to big fights?? Not OK. Not healthy. Passive aggression is BS.

The passive aggression would concern me but I do think he obviously has big feelings and that can be a good thing. If youre older than him he may also look up to you or worry if hes good enough...

What kind of 1950s horse crap advice is this?? No. Full stop. Don't let yourself be drawn into reindeer games. You would be better off alone than with a guy like this who accuses you of doing something that he himself does. Women like PP tolerate way too much from men. Big feelings my a$$.

He's projecting. He knows he's being inappropriate with Lauren.Trust that behavior didn't just start. He knows he's inappropriate so he assumes you are to thus the fight. He will try to blame you for his inappropriate behavior.

You are 36 and I assume you are dating for marriage, but even if you aren't don't waste Time on immature men let them go at the first sign of nonsense you don't have to to entertain drama and jealousy and fights to have a relationship. You deserve more.

Dump him. Seriously. I dated a guy like this. Save yourself the drama. He’s a narcissist. He likely trashes his ex girlfriends which is another red flag. Run. You deserve better. I bet if you thought about it, you’d find the other red flags you’ve been dismissing. Don’t question or doubt yourself on this one. You posted for a reason. Get out.

He’s become insecure or has checked out from the relationship but wants you to be the bad guy and breakup so that the new girl can comfort him.

His behavior would be a turn off for me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could definitely see why a man would be bothered by a super flirty coworker. A certain level of jealousy is normal and in fact good when it comes to a romantic relationship. But I do wonder why he has to go about it in passive aggressive terms, rather than communicating directly. Does he have issues communicating his feelings elsewhere?

A certain level of jealousy leading to big fights?? Not OK. Not healthy. Passive aggression is BS.

The passive aggression would concern me but I do think he obviously has big feelings and that can be a good thing. If youre older than him he may also look up to you or worry if hes good enough...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could definitely see why a man would be bothered by a super flirty coworker. A certain level of jealousy is normal and in fact good when it comes to a romantic relationship. But I do wonder why he has to go about it in passive aggressive terms, rather than communicating directly. Does he have issues communicating his feelings elsewhere?

A certain level of jealousy leading to big fights?? Not OK. Not healthy. Passive aggression is BS.

Obviously ideally it doesn’t lead to a big fight and both sides are willing to listen and make adjustments. Sounds like OP may have been flirting with her male coworker back. There are things she could do to mitigate their interactions

Anonymous wrote:I could definitely see why a man would be bothered by a super flirty coworker. A certain level of jealousy is normal and in fact good when it comes to a romantic relationship. But I do wonder why he has to go about it in passive aggressive terms, rather than communicating directly. Does he have issues communicating his feelings elsewhere?

A certain level of jealousy leading to big fights?? Not OK. Not healthy. Passive aggression is BS.

He's playing games and is very immature. Grownups don't pull crap like that. I think you should move on.

I could definitely see why a man would be bothered by a super flirty coworker. A certain level of jealousy is normal and in fact good when it comes to a romantic relationship. But I do wonder why he has to go about it in passive aggressive terms, rather than communicating directly. Does he have issues communicating his feelings elsewhere?

Op, the best thing for you to do is to discuss all this with him in a comfortable situation. Tell him about your feelings and if he sees a future with you.

Also, please stop snooping around his phone. That's not going to give you any relief with your anxiety and it could make matter worse for you

You should have dropped him the minute he started an argument about your coworker.

He's too immature for you OP, and while 3 years shouldn't make a difference at 23 and 26 it does. Drop him.

Yes they would. To me it sounds like he's hurt and trying to get attention from you. He probably wants you to know that other people desire him too