Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Remember OP, not everybody celebrates christmas.

But OP does, so it's understandable she's seeking input from those who have her shared experience, Not everything has to be inclusive all the time, and your attempt to shame OP shows how ignorant you are.

So much this. Massive head snapping eyeroll at the sanctimony.

We have alternated for 20 years. This is the first year that we are switching it up and repeating where we did the holidays the last time. We have figured out that we all really enjoy being with DH's big family for Thanksgiving and my parents (just my parents) for Christmas. We plan to make this the new tradition.

Anonymous wrote:Remember OP, not everybody celebrates christmas.

But OP does, so it's understandable she's seeking input from those who have her shared experience, Not everything has to be inclusive all the time, and your attempt to shame OP shows how ignorant you are.

We alternated back and forth. Lately, we have traveled to ILs for Xmas. Things shift as people pass on, etc. Spouse and I are talking about going abroad for some holidays. I wouldn’t mind skipping Thanksgiving one year and being abroad for it when kids are adults.

Anonymous wrote:Remember OP, not everybody celebrates christmas.

+1

And this is when our interfaith marriage is a blessing. Christmas with one side, Hanukkah with the other and Thanksgiving at our house. No negotiations, no drama.

Something I am thankful for every year.

We always stay in DC for Thanksgiving. It’s not a long enough holiday and travel at that time is often terrible.

For Christmas we rotate: one year with my family, one year with DH’s family, one year at home, and repeat. I love staying home and not having to travel but would miss family so this is how we try to balance things.

I alternate thanksgiving with my mom. When I host I invite both sides of the family (husband's family is local) and then his family always gets Christmas since I'm Jewish and we don't celebrate Christmas in our house. I think this is a pretty good compromise.

No. We stay home for the holidays but are willing to pay for flights for the grandparents to come to us. We are several states away from both sets, neither of them stayed in our hometowns.

Local here with ILs and parents each about 1/2 hour away from each other.

Here’s what we’ve done for Thanksgiving

Newlyweds - DC1: drive to both families houses. Dinner with one, dessert with the other. Exhausting, but never had to host.

DC2: we host, but just my family (16)

we host, but include my family + ILs+aunts/uncles (#28)

3DCs - all teens: we gather at my parents house: my ILs and my side of the family.

Christmas: we’ve evolved to traveling -away! Usually MIL insists upon Christmas Eve or Day gathering and sometimes we take my parents to IL’s house.

Thanksgiving: rotate between families

Christmas: see each family separately around Xmas, stay home for actual Xmas w/open invitation for anyone who wants to join us here

We did this before kids. I hated it. Spending every holiday either driving or flying and sleeping in the crappiest of double beds. When our first child arrived we stopped doing it. Her birthday is just days after Christmas so that helped and neither set of parents had the equipment to host a baby/toddler and lugging a pack and play to CA over holidays just wasn’t going to happen.

If they lived locally and we could just go for a few hours for the meal and socializing, I wouldn’t care at all about switching and being at one side or the other. But there’s simply no way I’m making Santa happen in CA and a 4 year old doesn’t understand the idea of “Santa came to our house in DC” while watching all her cousins open their stuff.

Remember OP, not everybody celebrates christmas.

No, we spend Thanksgiving most years with my ILs as they are within driving distance. We spend Christmas on our own at home and usually go on a vacation of some kind the week between Christmas and New Years. We visit my family at another time in the year, most years (not during Covid) when it is more pleasant to travel, schedules are less hectic, and the weather there enables us to do more stuff.

I hate traveling on these holidays and after my ILs pass we will stop altogether. To me, these holidays are about cozying up at home and enjoying immediate family. I am an introvert and do not really like large gatherings.

Thanksgiving at ILs and Christmas with my family. It is always the same. DH's family is really into Thanksgiving, that's when extended family comes home. My family is the opposite, so it works out. My kids love Christmas at my mom's and are sad when we don't go.

Christmas is always at home. Thanksgiving I usually host or go to my MIL in town, but who attends varies. Everyone is always invited.