Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hiding the guest list is overthinking it. It’s helpful for various reasons, but especially not to talk about it with people who aren’t invited. Now, you probably shouldn’t talk about it anyway, but it’s a different kind of media. Since you have to actively choose to hide the guest list, I always wonder why people choose to do so. It’s like going out of your way to make things more difficult for people. Just publish the list, already.

You don't need to talk about the party with another parent.

I wasn't talking about other parents (although the carpool issue is real), I was talking about kids.

The whole "you don't need to know who is invited" for a *children's party* is excessive. It's not a top secret affair, FFS. Hiding the guest list makes me think someone is being deliberately exclusive, which is not a good look.

Teach your kid not to talk about it. Going on about wanting to see the guest list makes me think you need to know who is coming before you accept, which is not cool.

Not at all. I don't play games like that. But hiding the list because you don't want people going based on who else is attending - are you really friends with people that shallow? Like, how poorly do you think of your guests?

I only hide it if it have to invite B list. I leave it open until then.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hiding the guest list is overthinking it. It’s helpful for various reasons, but especially not to talk about it with people who aren’t invited. Now, you probably shouldn’t talk about it anyway, but it’s a different kind of media. Since you have to actively choose to hide the guest list, I always wonder why people choose to do so. It’s like going out of your way to make things more difficult for people. Just publish the list, already.

You don't need to talk about the party with another parent.

I wasn't talking about other parents (although the carpool issue is real), I was talking about kids.

The whole "you don't need to know who is invited" for a *children's party* is excessive. It's not a top secret affair, FFS. Hiding the guest list makes me think someone is being deliberately exclusive, which is not a good look.

Teach your kid not to talk about it. Going on about wanting to see the guest list makes me think you need to know who is coming before you accept, which is not cool.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hiding the guest list is overthinking it. It’s helpful for various reasons, but especially not to talk about it with people who aren’t invited. Now, you probably shouldn’t talk about it anyway, but it’s a different kind of media. Since you have to actively choose to hide the guest list, I always wonder why people choose to do so. It’s like going out of your way to make things more difficult for people. Just publish the list, already.

You don't need to talk about the party with another parent.

I wasn't talking about other parents (although the carpool issue is real), I was talking about kids.

The whole "you don't need to know who is invited" for a *children's party* is excessive. It's not a top secret affair, FFS. Hiding the guest list makes me think someone is being deliberately exclusive, which is not a good look.

Anonymous wrote:Hiding the guest list is overthinking it. It’s helpful for various reasons, but especially not to talk about it with people who aren’t invited. Now, you probably shouldn’t talk about it anyway, but it’s a different kind of media. Since you have to actively choose to hide the guest list, I always wonder why people choose to do so. It’s like going out of your way to make things more difficult for people. Just publish the list, already.

You don't need to talk about the party with another parent.

I hide the guest list because, simply put, it is no one else's business who I have invited. Accept the invitation or don't.

I like when the list is not hidden because I can make carpool arrangements. I can tell my kids who else will be at the party so they know what to say or not say if the topic comes up at recess or at soccer practice. I agree that elementary kids' lives are not so complicated that it needs to be a state secret.

I think some people might hide hide guests because they have an A list and a B list.

Anonymous wrote:I've heard of people hiding the list because they think if they get a bunch of no's and the party looks to be lightly attended, it prompts other people to say no, too. I don't get this at all. Especially for a kid party, if it looks like it will be lightly attended I will make an extra effort to get my kid there.

I think it's weird to make it a state secret who is invited to your bounce house party.

I have done this, too. I can specifically remember one party where we were going to say no. We had plans as a family to go to Cox Farms and my kid said she would rather do that than go to the birthday party. When I saw not many kids were coming, I asked her to reconsider. She went and had fun.

Hiding the guest list is overthinking it. It’s helpful for various reasons, but especially not to talk about it with people who aren’t invited. Now, you probably shouldn’t talk about it anyway, but it’s a different kind of media. Since you have to actively choose to hide the guest list, I always wonder why people choose to do so. It’s like going out of your way to make things more difficult for people. Just publish the list, already.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to turn the question around on you - as a guest, why would you need to see who else was invited? When someone sends paper invitations, you have no idea who else was invited. Why does evite/paperless post need to be any different?

Exactly. It should not matter whether it is a closed invite. If you are free and want to come, please do, if not say no.

My kid was invited to a party and very excited and when we went to respond, it looked like others were invited more than a month back. My kid was a little hurt not to be in the first list, but likes the other kid and wanted to go, so we RSVPed yes. It would have been better if it was a closed invite since we wouldn't have known that others were invited ahead. But my kid was still happy to be invited.

I just responded and said I think they should be public. I also don't think people should have B lists. So this would be a non-issue. But I guess if you insist on having an A list and a B list, by all means, hide the guest list!!

Here is why I like to see it and make it public. First and foremost, my kids have busy sports schedules and we usually like to carpool. I've also occasionally done joint gifts with someone. So good to know who is going. Second, my kid had pretty severe social anxiety when he was younger. We never declined in invite based on who was or was not going, but it was helpful to tell him which "friendly faces" would be there and which kids he was a bit intimidated by would be there.

For those saying they don't like the idea of a kid accepting or declining based on who is coming, I will say if a kid only wants to come to my kid's party if the cool kids are coming or his closest friends or whatever, I would really and truly prefer that child declined. I don't need to trick anyone into coming to my kids' parties.

Lastly, both my kids have had parties to which they were not invited mentioned to them by friends. Now it might have happened anyway, but it may have been prevented if the guest list was visible and the kid knew my kid was not invited.

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to turn the question around on you - as a guest, why would you need to see who else was invited? When someone sends paper invitations, you have no idea who else was invited. Why does evite/paperless post need to be any different?

Exactly. It should not matter whether it is a closed invite. If you are free and want to come, please do, if not say no.

My kid was invited to a party and very excited and when we went to respond, it looked like others were invited more than a month back. My kid was a little hurt not to be in the first list, but likes the other kid and wanted to go, so we RSVPed yes. It would have been better if it was a closed invite since we wouldn't have known that others were invited ahead. But my kid was still happy to be invited.

For the whole class parties, we had an open invite and half the class attended. We had other friends attend too.

This year, we decided to hide the guest list since we felt the same as another poster - we did not want kids choosing to go only based on whether someone else is attending. If you want to come for the sake of our kid, please do, if not that is fine too. Only 7 kids came out of the 10 invited from school and that was completely fine with my kid. With other friends and siblings there were around 15 kids total.

I'm going to turn the question around on you - as a guest, why would you need to see who else was invited? When someone sends paper invitations, you have no idea who else was invited. Why does evite/paperless post need to be any different?

Also, I have a shy kid and it's nice to be able to tell him "look, so-and-so Friend is going, too!"