Anonymous
Post 11/18/2021 11:43     Subject: College tour...how to give the right vibe to my rebel teenager
just be the driver of the car nothing more. they will know when they know what they want and like.
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2021 11:41     Subject: College tour...how to give the right vibe to my rebel teenager
Congratulations and good luck OP. I'm from the Northeast and have lived here or there most of my life, but the day-to-day diversity I've experienced was living in TX. If you can, let her make this decision, but even if you have the resources to be full pay, the money still matters. She needs to appreciate that, even if you have to help her to do so.
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2021 11:27     Subject: College tour...how to give the right vibe to my rebel teenager
Anonymous wrote:We are touring a college over Thanksgiving week. They have a fall preview day. The college has offered my daughter a full ride. I want to present a neutral attitude, however I want her to realize this is her best shot to graduate school debt free. I can graduate her debt free with her PhD degree if she takes advantage of going here. I don't want to come on too strong. We are spending two days meeting with her departments for under graduate and the direct admit graduate school she applied to. They also have a day of talks about dorms, walk the campus etc. If i oversell it she will not want to go just to do the opposite of what i want. She has been to see over 20 schools and has only liked UVA and Delaware Valley. She is concerned she is a child from and urban area and this is a southern school. She doesn't think her values will align. Any recommendations would be helpful.


OP, don’t try to make your case for debt free graduate school during the campus visit. Make it later when you have all your choices in front of you. Does your child want to be a lawyer or a doctor? Then explain that the only things that matter is college GPA, test scores and 200+k of tuition funds. If not med or law school, don’t worry so much about graduate school
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2021 11:12     Subject: Re:College tour...how to give the right vibe to my rebel teenager
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Here is the Southern school thing again. Imagine you planted the bias in their head so live with it and reflect on your stupidity and hope they get into UVA.


this. It is incredible the bias and elitism that is still "acceptable" in 2021. SMH at OP.


It is more about the intolerance of the majority of people who live in "red" states, eschew science and want to impose their values on everyone else.


+1

And the South is not known for its intellectual rigor, generally speaking. Take a look at school systems ratings nationwide.


I imagine you are from the South then? You obviously have a dearth of intellectual capacity, I imagine your intellectual rigor growing up was slim, hence your dense view on the world.
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2021 11:09     Subject: Re:College tour...how to give the right vibe to my rebel teenager
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Here is the Southern school thing again. Imagine you planted the bias in their head so live with it and reflect on your stupidity and hope they get into UVA.


this. It is incredible the bias and elitism that is still "acceptable" in 2021. SMH at OP.


It is more about the intolerance of the majority of people who live in "red" states, eschew science and want to impose their values on everyone else.


+1

And the South is not known for its intellectual rigor, generally speaking. Take a look at school systems ratings nationwide.


It is a tough competition for the most intolerant title. And the North might be winning
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2021 11:05     Subject: College tour...how to give the right vibe to my rebel teenager
Congrats to your daughter on the amazing offer. I think it's difficult for kids to imagine debt. When I spoke to my kid, I explained that working 40 hours a week for 10 weeks of summer break at $15/hour would earn her 6,000. The differences in cost between some of the colleges we are considering are more than 20k/year. In my opinion, all of the schools she is considering would give her a great education, but it's difficult for kids who have been conditioned to believe that certain schools are better due to their fancy reputation or enticing location.
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2021 11:05     Subject: College tour...how to give the right vibe to my rebel teenager
Anonymous wrote:Not sure what values the mom is concerned about for the daughter. I have lived all over the South, Virginia, D.C...and Boston. The most racist place I have ever lived - and the place where people felt okay verbalizing their racism....was Boston.


I'm from Northern California and also have lived all over the South, Virginia and D.C. I too can recognize where people felt okay to verbalize their racism was UMC NoCal people...irony is they all vote blue so there is that.
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2021 11:03     Subject: Re:College tour...how to give the right vibe to my rebel teenager
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Here is the Southern school thing again. Imagine you planted the bias in their head so live with it and reflect on your stupidity and hope they get into UVA.


this. It is incredible the bias and elitism that is still "acceptable" in 2021. SMH at OP.


It is more about the intolerance of the majority of people who live in "red" states, eschew science and want to impose their values on everyone else.


+1

And the South is not known for its intellectual rigor, generally speaking. Take a look at school systems ratings nationwide.
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2021 10:58     Subject: College tour...how to give the right vibe to my rebel teenager
Not sure what values the mom is concerned about for the daughter. I have lived all over the South, Virginia, D.C...and Boston. The most racist place I have ever lived - and the place where people felt okay verbalizing their racism....was Boston.
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2021 10:46     Subject: Re:College tour...how to give the right vibe to my rebel teenager
I know lots of very bright, liberal kids from the DMV who got sweet deals to go to big Southern state schools, and were miserable and transferred out. Listen to your child.

And don't let the direct admit grad school offer be part of the calculation - few 17-year-olds are ready to commit to something like that.

How much are you pushing your kid into doing what YOU want them to do? Be careful - this could backfire in a big way.
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2021 10:37     Subject: Re:College tour...how to give the right vibe to my rebel teenager
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Here is the Southern school thing again. Imagine you planted the bias in their head so live with it and reflect on your stupidity and hope they get into UVA.


this. It is incredible the bias and elitism that is still "acceptable" in 2021. SMH at OP.


It is more about the intolerance of the majority of people who live in "red" states, eschew science and want to impose their values on everyone else.


LOL.
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2021 10:20     Subject: Re:College tour...how to give the right vibe to my rebel teenager
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Here is the Southern school thing again. Imagine you planted the bias in their head so live with it and reflect on your stupidity and hope they get into UVA.


this. It is incredible the bias and elitism that is still "acceptable" in 2021. SMH at OP.


It is more about the intolerance of the majority of people who live in "red" states, eschew science and want to impose their values on everyone else.


How to say you're an intolerant ignorant ideologue just like Trumpers without saying your an ignorant ideologue just like Trumpers. You people are pathetic.
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2021 10:18     Subject: College tour...how to give the right vibe to my rebel teenager
Agree to step back and not push. However, I would help her do the math on the total difference in tuition and how that would impact her life in the future.
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2021 10:14     Subject: Re:College tour...how to give the right vibe to my rebel teenager
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Here is the Southern school thing again. Imagine you planted the bias in their head so live with it and reflect on your stupidity and hope they get into UVA.


this. It is incredible the bias and elitism that is still "acceptable" in 2021. SMH at OP.


It is more about the intolerance of the majority of people who live in "red" states, eschew science and want to impose their values on everyone else.
Anonymous
Post 11/18/2021 10:13     Subject: College tour...how to give the right vibe to my rebel teenager
Anonymous wrote:Her values won't align?

My French cousin went to Duke. My French-Vietnamese nephew is going to Harvard. I went to grad school at UMD, and most students in my department were from India and China.

People, if foreigners can uproot themselves, cross oceans, leave their families, learn English well enough to study at a high level and make it in the USA, your precious little snowflakes had better get with the program.


Harvard, Duke and UMD are not exactly southern schools in areas surrounded by people who might be less tolerant of folks that don't look and talk like themselves.