I had a baby when my oldest was 2 and then had a 3rd when my middle child was 3. They both totally got breastfeeding. After all, it’s what animals do. Lots of books about baby animals show the babies nursing on their moms.

We read a lot of big sister books. My kids loooooved getting baby siblings, even my son. My son is the biggest fan of the baby actually and we worried about him.

My kids would all have been way more puzzled by seeing a bottle fed baby. I've nursed in front of tons of kids, they don't notice and certainly don't question it.

Mine was three when his sister was born. It didn't even occur to me that he needed to be in the BFing loop! I don't remember him asking or it being a big deal. I guess we normalized it from day 1. I tried showing him home birth videos because we were considering a home birth and he was totally uninterested.

If you are worried, maybe get a bunch of books on the topic from the library and pick what vibrates with you. Maybe it would help if he gained big boy privileges the day baby comes home.

I'm always telling him "I'm sorry I cant XYZ right now because I need to ABC the baby" or "She doesn't know because she is a baby" (to not take toys out of his hand, etc) but some day she will be able to PLAY with you!!!!!

It will help if your husband can take time off so he can get 1:1 time with you after baby comes so he doesn't' feel like he's being kicked out of the nest. His baby sister somehow got him a truck too. He still remembers that it is the truck his sister gave him.

While the baby is inside your body it gets food through a pipe that connects to you. After the baby is born it has to keep eating from you but now the pipe is gone. This is how it happens!

"I'm feeding the baby."

My 3yo nephew saw me nursing when I was visiting with my newborn and his mom told him "Auntie X is feeding the baby." Seemed to answer his question!

Watch all the Daniel Tiger episodes where baby Margaret is born and then dealing with any other issues. I think its basically the 2nd season. Also get him his own baby doll to prepare and have him start playing a little.

Your anxiety is causing your child’s anxiety. It is a bad influence on him. Chill the F out.

OP here thanks all I was able to find some books showing nursing not just bottle feeding I mentioned it and he had no questions. We’ll keep working on communication and thank you to PP for the physical vs emotional needs point.

Agree with PP who said to ask your local librarian. I think it is Joanna Cole who wrote I'm a big brother - great book for kids. Someone got my older son a doll so he could practice being a big brother. Then when I had a to breastfeed the new baby, we would tell DS to do something nice for his baby. Also, something to keep in mind - a friend of mine reminded me that your older child has lots of emotional needs as a 3.5 year old. Your infant will have lots of physical needs. If you have to choose between tending to the emotional needs while the infant cried for the physical needs, take the extra ten seconds to hug you're 3.5 yo or give him some attention. Good luck to you!

There are so many books about becoming a sibling. Maybe visit your local library will help. Also if you watch the cartoon Daniel Tiger, there are some episodes where he gets a baby sister. I think straight forward honesty in an age appropriate way is always best. Maybe think of special things just the two of you can do, even when the baby comes. Get him involved in planning for baby, like pick out a stuffed animal or something. You got this!

Anonymous wrote:Nursing is not hard to explain. “Babies can’t have food yet! They drink milk. Mommy makes milk for the baby in her breasts. You drank milk from Mommy when you were a baby! Now you’re a big boy who eats pizza and apples and ice cream. One day your baby will do that too, but for now she will drink milk.”

Yep, this is good! I would also suggest getting a basket of things ready for him to do while you're nursing. Action figures, stress balls, bristle blocks, fidgets, a coloring book, etc. Little fun things.

You are definitely overthinking this.

With my first baby, I was a full time nanny to 3.5yo twins and brought my baby to work. They never once questioned me nursing.

With my second baby, my oldest was 3yo and also never questioned mommy feeding baby