Also mid 40s and I took a long time to figure myself out. I read the book "Designing Your Life" and realized I can't satisfy all my needs with just one profession. Decided to move to a senior level non profit project management job that is 100% remote and pays $110K. I also started a business doing graphic/web design so I can be creative yet work on my own terms. I realize this approach is not for everyone but it works for me.