Option 1. Daycare is killing us and we just started in August. DC has been out with colds three times/four days each. Plus 3 covid tests and RSV panels at $200 a pop in co-pay. Plus you have to pack lunch and snacks and they send the containers home dirty along with any soiled clothes (there was a huge poop still in DC’s pants sealed in a ziplock all day. Plus dragging him out and rushing to get him.

Letting our nanny go was the worst parenting mistake we ever made.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, so are you goin to pay the nanny the total she was paid for the share? The rate for a nanny for two kid (one family) is typically less than 2 kids in a share. What is your hourly rate you are paying? Where do you live? Many benefits to a nanny, especially when you have two kids, but it sounds like you are paying more than you need to. Maybe a new nanny for both kids at a lower rate?

OP here.

This is an interesting point. We pay $12 per hour now, so the nanny makes $24. On the books. We do not pay health insurance, but we do offer paid time off, paid holidays, and paid sick leave.

We would definitely not get a different nanny. We won the lottery with this nanny, she's wonderful. And $24 for DC is pretty reasonable.

If we were continuing the share, we would give her a $1 raise to $25, as it's been a year. In my numbers I put in the initial post, I was assuming we'd be paying $25 per hour moving forward. But since it would move from a share to just us, do you think it would be okay to keep her at $24? That would move our monthly cost down to $5k, which would help keep us out of the red, but then I also want to keep her happy, she really is fabulous.

That's a tough call. I mean, yes, you want to keep her happy, but in my opinion, the new job is much easier, only having to deal with one family. I am not sure what I would do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just for an alternate perspective, I’m extremely uncomfortable living in the red and I’d be looking for the best arrangement I could afford, not the best arrangement money could buy. If you aren’t saving then you’re borrowing from other future needs your kids will have.

I struggle with budget too so I’m not being preachy! Just sharing my view. In my world that translated to sending both kids to daycare. I can still afford to have our old nanny share nanny come one Saturday per month to watch the kids while we go out. She sees them and likes the extra $

OP here. Thank you for this. Yes, living in the red makes me uncomfortable, too, so I appreciate your perspective.

I think Option 2 could still work out great, just more logistics. With option 1, Is the additional convenience worth close to 10k? Are you going to feel depressed if your spouse gets their raise and it’s basically spoken for? Is the extra money spent going to result in a net positive other than more convenience for you? Assuming your kids will otherwise be safe, happy, and socialized in either setup, how much is the ease of 1 really worth?

The first few years are such a crush with expenses that in some ways you just have to get through it. I can totally understand considering the investment in your own convenience as worth it. but 3 year olds get a lot of benefit from being in daycare/preK so I think option 2 is what I’d personally go with. Just saying you’re not crazy if you choose that!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would choose option one despite the financial crunch because, as you point out, it's a temporary issue.

One thing I'd look into is whether his PK has a summer camp that you could enroll in next summer, thus reducing the total amount of time you are paying for the nanny on your own (since if your oldest is in summer camp all day, you could find a family to do a share with your youngest and defray the costs of the nanny). That way he would basically start PK early.

But yes, all temporary, and if you can just swing it financially, that's good enough because these costs go away as your kids age out of them. I think the advantages of keeping things consistent with your older child, maintaining a good relationship with your nanny, and decreasing the number of

OP here - great idea about the summer camp! Thanks!

Summer camp is also a good transition from nanny/home to preschool.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you in DC with universal PK3?

Because if you aren't, you should pick a place that does 2s through 4s for the older one.

Yes, in DC, our kids will go to our in bound school, and it seems like its fairly easy to get a PK3 slot there if you're IB.

Oh! In that case I would keep the nanny since it you have universal PK3 and PK4 and don't need to budget additional for those.

Anonymous wrote:Just for an alternate perspective, I’m extremely uncomfortable living in the red and I’d be looking for the best arrangement I could afford, not the best arrangement money could buy. If you aren’t saving then you’re borrowing from other future needs your kids will have.

I struggle with budget too so I’m not being preachy! Just sharing my view. In my world that translated to sending both kids to daycare. I can still afford to have our old nanny share nanny come one Saturday per month to watch the kids while we go out. She sees them and likes the extra $

OP here. Thank you for this. Yes, living in the red makes me uncomfortable, too, so I appreciate your perspective.