Anonymous
Post 11/09/2021 09:46     Subject: Kid’s girlfriend/boyfriend Holiday Invite
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My mom always did this. It’s a nice gesture but please ask your kids first. Later my sister and I both told her she shouldn’t have invited them so early. Yes, we were serious but we didn’t necessarily want them at Christmas just yet. She thought she was being welcoming and invited their parents too. Sometimes they came. So it was like awkward IL and parent get togethers before we were even married. My family has always been the more the merrier type and usually it is nice. Not so much on Christmas with your BF’s family.


I’m just surprised you guys were all local!

None of my college boyfriends were from the same city as my parents.


That makes a whole lot of difference, local and out of town/state dynamics are very different in many ways.
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2021 21:54     Subject: Kid’s girlfriend/boyfriend Holiday Invite
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My DD is 18 and dating a boy the same age. I just asked her questions about him today because I'm going to buy them matching holiday pajama pants. Yes, he's invited.

Am I slightly uncomfortable that my wittle baby girl is in a semi-adult relationship? Yes. But do I want to drive her away by saying someone she feels strongly about is not welcome? No. I want to get to know him. So come on over. Tell me everything!


They are 18 and adults.


The pajama thing is kind of weird coming from mom...
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2021 21:33     Subject: Kid’s girlfriend/boyfriend Holiday Invite
Anonymous wrote:My MIL invited me for every holiday when DH and I were in college. She gave me small trinkety gifts but did give me something. I wouldn’t hesitate.


Small trinkety gifts? Really? You were a GF and she didn't even have to invite you over much less give you gifts.
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2021 21:20     Subject: Kid’s girlfriend/boyfriend Holiday Invite
Anonymous wrote:My mom always did this. It’s a nice gesture but please ask your kids first. Later my sister and I both told her she shouldn’t have invited them so early. Yes, we were serious but we didn’t necessarily want them at Christmas just yet. She thought she was being welcoming and invited their parents too. Sometimes they came. So it was like awkward IL and parent get togethers before we were even married. My family has always been the more the merrier type and usually it is nice. Not so much on Christmas with your BF’s family.



This let your kid know they are welcome to invite someone special but let them do the actual inviting of the SO.
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2021 20:35     Subject: Kid’s girlfriend/boyfriend Holiday Invite
Anonymous wrote:My mom always did this. It’s a nice gesture but please ask your kids first. Later my sister and I both told her she shouldn’t have invited them so early. Yes, we were serious but we didn’t necessarily want them at Christmas just yet. She thought she was being welcoming and invited their parents too. Sometimes they came. So it was like awkward IL and parent get togethers before we were even married. My family has always been the more the merrier type and usually it is nice. Not so much on Christmas with your BF’s family.


I’m just surprised you guys were all local!

None of my college boyfriends were from the same city as my parents.
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2021 20:09     Subject: Kid’s girlfriend/boyfriend Holiday Invite
My mom always did this. It’s a nice gesture but please ask your kids first. Later my sister and I both told her she shouldn’t have invited them so early. Yes, we were serious but we didn’t necessarily want them at Christmas just yet. She thought she was being welcoming and invited their parents too. Sometimes they came. So it was like awkward IL and parent get togethers before we were even married. My family has always been the more the merrier type and usually it is nice. Not so much on Christmas with your BF’s family.
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2021 20:03     Subject: Kid’s girlfriend/boyfriend Holiday Invite
Anonymous wrote:I would invite them during the holiday break, but wouldn’t they want to be with their family for Christmas Day? No gift for a dating situation. If you are feeding him, isn’t that enough?


Not everyone has idyllic family life. My son’s girlfriend has family drama. She’s the only kid from both her mom and dad, who are both now on the their third marriages. She feels on the outside because of all the shuffling she did growing up. She asked to spend the holidays with us, and is most welcome. She will gifts and not just trinkets.

Even if they break up January 2nd, or never get married, she’s a very welcome guest at our home.
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2021 20:03     Subject: Kid’s girlfriend/boyfriend Holiday Invite
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My DD is 18 and dating a boy the same age. I just asked her questions about him today because I'm going to buy them matching holiday pajama pants. Yes, he's invited.

Am I slightly uncomfortable that my wittle baby girl is in a semi-adult relationship? Yes. But do I want to drive her away by saying someone she feels strongly about is not welcome? No. I want to get to know him. So come on over. Tell me everything!


They are 18 and adults.


No, they are just 18. She's not an adult. She's just an 18 yr old.


Whatever. We and the law disagree with infantilizing your adult child.

Np. you know what she means. 18 is barely an adult. There is nothing magical that happens between 17 and 18. They are adults with training wheels since there are still things they cannot do...drink, rent a car etc
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2021 20:00     Subject: Kid’s girlfriend/boyfriend Holiday Invite
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My DD is 18 and dating a boy the same age. I just asked her questions about him today because I'm going to buy them matching holiday pajama pants. Yes, he's invited.

Am I slightly uncomfortable that my wittle baby girl is in a semi-adult relationship? Yes. But do I want to drive her away by saying someone she feels strongly about is not welcome? No. I want to get to know him. So come on over. Tell me everything!


They are 18 and adults.


No, they are just 18. She's not an adult. She's just an 18 yr old.


Whatever. We and the law disagree with infantilizing your adult child. -NP


Whatever indeed. She dropped out of high school due to debilitatingly severe anxiety and a raging eating disorder and hasn't done anything but various therapies for well over a year. I assure you, she is NOT qualified to vote or defend our country or buy a gun. I will continue to meet her where she is and very gently support her efforts to move her life forward. But yay for you, for assuming you know my "adult" kid better than I do.


Tell it to the judge. -NP
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2021 19:58     Subject: Kid’s girlfriend/boyfriend Holiday Invite
If your son or daughter asks to invite his or her significant other, of course you invite them. They will likely bring a host/hostess gift for you—and perhaps a holiday gift—so of course it would be appropriate to have a little something for them, even if it’s just a Starbucks gift card if you know they like coffee, or a pair of cheerful socks from Etsy.

I’m surprised this is even a question.
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2021 19:54     Subject: Kid’s girlfriend/boyfriend Holiday Invite
18 is an adult, issues and all. 18 year olds are supposed to have issues, they are still figuring it out. Yet they aren’t a child.

My adult kids can bring anyone to thanksgiving and Christmas
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2021 19:51     Subject: Kid’s girlfriend/boyfriend Holiday Invite
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My DD is 18 and dating a boy the same age. I just asked her questions about him today because I'm going to buy them matching holiday pajama pants. Yes, he's invited.

Am I slightly uncomfortable that my wittle baby girl is in a semi-adult relationship? Yes. But do I want to drive her away by saying someone she feels strongly about is not welcome? No. I want to get to know him. So come on over. Tell me everything!


They are 18 and adults.


No, they are just 18. She's not an adult. She's just an 18 yr old.


Whatever. We and the law disagree with infantilizing your adult child. -NP


Whatever indeed. She dropped out of high school due to debilitatingly severe anxiety and a raging eating disorder and hasn't done anything but various therapies for well over a year. I assure you, she is NOT qualified to vote or defend our country or buy a gun. I will continue to meet her where she is and very gently support her efforts to move her life forward. But yay for you, for assuming you know my "adult" kid better than I do.


Those kind of issues didn't just start within the past year so maybe if you would have gotten her more help early on things would have been different. And, why hasn't she done any therapies. That's on you as a parent. Your child needs to grow up, get help, get her GED and get some life skills. Your way isn't working.
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2021 19:49     Subject: Kid’s girlfriend/boyfriend Holiday Invite
Inviting someone to thanksgiving is very different from Christmas.
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2021 19:44     Subject: Re: Kid’s girlfriend/boyfriend Holiday Invite
My daughter dated a boy from the age of 15 to 18 and after being together for over a year we invited him over for the holidays and bought him gifts. He would also come with us to waterparks etc during the summer. They did brake up shortly after she started working though.
Anonymous
Post 11/08/2021 19:22     Subject: Kid’s girlfriend/boyfriend Holiday Invite
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My DD is 18 and dating a boy the same age. I just asked her questions about him today because I'm going to buy them matching holiday pajama pants. Yes, he's invited.

Am I slightly uncomfortable that my wittle baby girl is in a semi-adult relationship? Yes. But do I want to drive her away by saying someone she feels strongly about is not welcome? No. I want to get to know him. So come on over. Tell me everything!


They are 18 and adults.


No, they are just 18. She's not an adult. She's just an 18 yr old.


Whatever. We and the law disagree with infantilizing your adult child. -NP


Whatever indeed. She dropped out of high school due to debilitatingly severe anxiety and a raging eating disorder and hasn't done anything but various therapies for well over a year. I assure you, she is NOT qualified to vote or defend our country or buy a gun. I will continue to meet her where she is and very gently support her efforts to move her life forward. But yay for you, for assuming you know my "adult" kid better than I do.