Anonymous
11/08/2021 17:07
Subject: Tips for sahm with nanny
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Just realized you will be massively judged for not working and having a nanny.
NP. Why? Is it her somehow her moral obligation to work?
- working mom
It's not. But she wants to both farm out her childcare and not work. Yes, people are going to judge her for that. I'm all for being a SAHM. But if you are one, you don't need a nanny.
“Need” and “benefit the children” are two totally different things.
Small-minded people like this will always judge. Don’t give them a second thoughtOP
Anonymous
11/08/2021 16:08
Subject: Re:Tips for sahm with nanny
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I’m a nanny with a SAHM and it works out great especially for the kids. Here’s what we do:
We have a loose “schedule” of responsibilities. The mom likes dropping the oldest off at preschool and my charge likes me to pick him up. Since I was a preschool teacher, I do a morning outing with the two-year-old that includes an art or nature project while the mom stays home with the baby (who is still nursing). I make lunch and the mom reads to the 2.5 yr old (who doesn’t nap) while I pick up the 4 yr old. Then the mom usually goes to the gym. She’s home in time for me to do a reading lesson with the oldest and play with the two older kids together. We all go out for a walk before dinner.
I don’t clean beyond the kids laundry and playroom. The mom and I both cook for the kids - all healthful and fresh. One day she takes the older two to swimming lessons while I play with the baby.
Everyday I know what we’re going to do and when she’s going to be unavailable so we can plan the kids day.
Several PP’s above are saying the nanny must become PT housekeeper. Would you be amenable to that?
No. I have a masters degree in ECE and all of the families I have ever worked for have housekeepers. Plus I’m bad at housework. I have someone clean my own apartment every other week.
But I know a number of lovely nannies who would be fine with housecleaning.
Anonymous
11/08/2021 16:05
Subject: Re:Tips for sahm with nanny
Anonymous wrote:I’m a nanny with a SAHM and it works out great especially for the kids. Here’s what we do:
We have a loose “schedule” of responsibilities. The mom likes dropping the oldest off at preschool and my charge likes me to pick him up. Since I was a preschool teacher, I do a morning outing with the two-year-old that includes an art or nature project while the mom stays home with the baby (who is still nursing). I make lunch and the mom reads to the 2.5 yr old (who doesn’t nap) while I pick up the 4 yr old. Then the mom usually goes to the gym. She’s home in time for me to do a reading lesson with the oldest and play with the two older kids together. We all go out for a walk before dinner.
I don’t clean beyond the kids laundry and playroom. The mom and I both cook for the kids - all healthful and fresh. One day she takes the older two to swimming lessons while I play with the baby.
Everyday I know what we’re going to do and when she’s going to be unavailable so we can plan the kids day.
This. I SAH with a nanny as well and it’s important to go over your plans for the day with her. I love our nanny and am happy to work side-by-side but having individual time with each child is important. Nanny can obviously handle all three kids when I go out but I became a SAHM to teach my kids. Nanny makes that possible.
My advice would be to sit down and talk about what you envision as the best schedule. For example, when I had my baby six months ago, it was important that my toddler kept his exact outdoor schedule in the mornings (about three hours) and I had time to nurse and snuggle with my newborn.
Good luck, OP. It’s so happy and relaxed at our house thanks to nanny. No one is on screens or stuck inside (including me!).
Anonymous
11/08/2021 11:09
Subject: Tips for sahm with nanny
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Just realized you will be massively judged for not working and having a nanny.
NP. Why? Is it her somehow her moral obligation to work?
- working mom
It's not. But she wants to both farm out her childcare and not work. Yes, people are going to judge her for that. I'm all for being a SAHM. But if you are one, you don't need a nanny.
Anonymous
11/08/2021 11:08
Subject: Tips for sahm with nanny
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don’t think OP is looking for a new job. She’s going to SAH with a nanny. Totally different.
This is OP - I have no idea what i'm going to do. This was all a pretty big surprise to me. No one hires this time of year so for now I'm going to make the most of SAH and seeing how I like that. In the new year the interview process for my type of role would likely be a couple months so I'm looking at least 4mo at home, maybe longer or maybe doing some part-time consulting work after that.
I'm hiring 3 positions right now... senior positions at that. Yes, people are hiring right now. Stop making excuses.
Anonymous
11/08/2021 10:52
Subject: Re:Tips for sahm with nanny
Anonymous wrote:I’m a nanny with a SAHM and it works out great especially for the kids. Here’s what we do:
We have a loose “schedule” of responsibilities. The mom likes dropping the oldest off at preschool and my charge likes me to pick him up. Since I was a preschool teacher, I do a morning outing with the two-year-old that includes an art or nature project while the mom stays home with the baby (who is still nursing). I make lunch and the mom reads to the 2.5 yr old (who doesn’t nap) while I pick up the 4 yr old. Then the mom usually goes to the gym. She’s home in time for me to do a reading lesson with the oldest and play with the two older kids together. We all go out for a walk before dinner.
I don’t clean beyond the kids laundry and playroom. The mom and I both cook for the kids - all healthful and fresh. One day she takes the older two to swimming lessons while I play with the baby.
Everyday I know what we’re going to do and when she’s going to be unavailable so we can plan the kids day.
Several PP’s above are saying the nanny must become PT housekeeper. Would you be amenable to that?
Anonymous
11/08/2021 10:47
Subject: Tips for sahm with nanny
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don’t think OP is looking for a new job. She’s going to SAH with a nanny. Totally different.
This is OP - I have no idea what i'm going to do. This was all a pretty big surprise to me. No one hires this time of year so for now I'm going to make the most of SAH and seeing how I like that. In the new year the interview process for my type of role would likely be a couple months so I'm looking at least 4mo at home, maybe longer or maybe doing some part-time consulting work after that.
Where are you posting from Op?
Anonymous
11/08/2021 10:37
Subject: Re:Tips for sahm with nanny
I’m a nanny with a SAHM and it works out great especially for the kids. Here’s what we do:
We have a loose “schedule” of responsibilities. The mom likes dropping the oldest off at preschool and my charge likes me to pick him up. Since I was a preschool teacher, I do a morning outing with the two-year-old that includes an art or nature project while the mom stays home with the baby (who is still nursing). I make lunch and the mom reads to the 2.5 yr old (who doesn’t nap) while I pick up the 4 yr old. Then the mom usually goes to the gym. She’s home in time for me to do a reading lesson with the oldest and play with the two older kids together. We all go out for a walk before dinner.
I don’t clean beyond the kids laundry and playroom. The mom and I both cook for the kids - all healthful and fresh. One day she takes the older two to swimming lessons while I play with the baby.
Everyday I know what we’re going to do and when she’s going to be unavailable so we can plan the kids day.
We have a loose “schedule” of responsibilities. The mom likes dropping the oldest off at preschool and my charge likes me to pick him up. Since I was a preschool teacher, I do a morning outing with the two-year-old that includes an art or nature project while the mom stays home with the baby (who is still nursing). I make lunch and the mom reads to the 2.5 yr old (who doesn’t nap) while I pick up the 4 yr old. Then the mom usually goes to the gym. She’s home in time for me to do a reading lesson with the oldest and play with the two older kids together. We all go out for a walk before dinner.
I don’t clean beyond the kids laundry and playroom. The mom and I both cook for the kids - all healthful and fresh. One day she takes the older two to swimming lessons while I play with the baby.
Everyday I know what we’re going to do and when she’s going to be unavailable so we can plan the kids day.
Anonymous
11/08/2021 10:22
Subject: Tips for sahm with nanny
Anonymous wrote:I don’t think OP is looking for a new job. She’s going to SAH with a nanny. Totally different.
This is OP - I have no idea what i'm going to do. This was all a pretty big surprise to me. No one hires this time of year so for now I'm going to make the most of SAH and seeing how I like that. In the new year the interview process for my type of role would likely be a couple months so I'm looking at least 4mo at home, maybe longer or maybe doing some part-time consulting work after that.
Anonymous
11/08/2021 10:17
Subject: Tips for sahm with nanny
I don’t think OP is looking for a new job. She’s going to SAH with a nanny. Totally different.
Anonymous
11/08/2021 09:39
Subject: Tips for sahm with nanny
Keep the nanny. The kids will need to get used to her for when you go back to work and vice versa.
In the meantime, you burrow into your home office and close the door. Your search for a new job, dust off your resume, network, make some phone calls, etc
Looking for a job is a FT job in itself. You have childcare covered. There are employers who can't fill positions fast enough
You have no excuse not to be able to bounce quickly from this.
In the meantime, you burrow into your home office and close the door. Your search for a new job, dust off your resume, network, make some phone calls, etc
Looking for a job is a FT job in itself. You have childcare covered. There are employers who can't fill positions fast enough
You have no excuse not to be able to bounce quickly from this.
Anonymous
11/08/2021 09:37
Subject: Re:Tips for sahm with nanny
Many women extend maternity leave to spend time with their baby.
The question should not be what should OP do with her schedule. The question should be what should the nanny’s schedule be.
My oldest is now 12. I had a demanding job. DH had a demanding job. I wanted to spend more time with the kids so I decided to stay home. I had a part time nanny, not a full time nanny.
The most successful working mom that I know had a full time nanny even when her kids went to school full time (elementary). Nanny was not a housekeeper. She had a separate housekeeper. The nanny could do whatever the hell she wanted when kids were in school but she wanted the nanny to cover both morning and afternoon/evenings. This woman earns millions. The cost of the full time nanny was to make sure her kids were covered when they needed her. She didn’t want her nanny to get another job. Now her husband is semi retired aka stay at home dad.
The question should not be what should OP do with her schedule. The question should be what should the nanny’s schedule be.
My oldest is now 12. I had a demanding job. DH had a demanding job. I wanted to spend more time with the kids so I decided to stay home. I had a part time nanny, not a full time nanny.
The most successful working mom that I know had a full time nanny even when her kids went to school full time (elementary). Nanny was not a housekeeper. She had a separate housekeeper. The nanny could do whatever the hell she wanted when kids were in school but she wanted the nanny to cover both morning and afternoon/evenings. This woman earns millions. The cost of the full time nanny was to make sure her kids were covered when they needed her. She didn’t want her nanny to get another job. Now her husband is semi retired aka stay at home dad.
Anonymous
11/08/2021 09:08
Subject: Re:Tips for sahm with nanny
If OP is trying to get another job, she’s not a SAHM. She’s unemployed. Finding a new job takes a lot of time and effort and, get this, child care.
I would focus on doing things for yourself during the school hours and doing mom things the other times, so you and the nanny can divide and conquer and give each kid a lot of one on one time while you’re not working.
I would focus on doing things for yourself during the school hours and doing mom things the other times, so you and the nanny can divide and conquer and give each kid a lot of one on one time while you’re not working.
Anonymous
11/08/2021 09:04
Subject: Re:Tips for sahm with nanny
Anonymous wrote:Your nanny’s role has to change.
Our nanny was half housekeeper. As soon as she got to the house, she would help with breakfast. She did this while I worked and when I stopped working. She did the dishes, wiped the table, vacuumed crumbs. She may do laundry one morning, clean up the playroom, etc for a few hours per day. She also cooked for us. I know that all nannies don’t do this but it would not have worked for our home for the nanny to continue only providing childcare when I didn’t work.
This.
Make sure your nanny does as much cleaning and laundry as possible, NOT you. You might even have her focus exclusively on cleaning/laundry in the mornings when both older kids are at school and you are with baby, then when the older kids come home spend time with them while nanny has baby. Take either one morning or one full day for yourself (to run errands, get mani/pedi, workout, whatever). It’s good to have long stretches of time so you don’t have too many transitions for the kids (or for you).
I agree, as was your instinct OP, that you need a clear schedule. You shouldn’t feel tied down by it, but it will help everyone know who does what when.
Anonymous
11/08/2021 08:54
Subject: Tips for sahm with nanny
Anonymous wrote:Just realized you will be massively judged for not working and having a nanny.
NP. Why? Is it her somehow her moral obligation to work?
- working mom