Anonymous wrote:Full disclosure: I’m not in the DC area.

U11 competitive son. 11 years old. We are at a new club this year. Training ends this week as they take the winter off (until mid January). There is an optional futsal league. There was no communication whatsoever regarding this league and yesterday I happened to see the coach and told him my son wanted to play. Apparently the teams havebeen made up already and he gave me the contact number of two parents to see if my son could be added to a team. One said she had maximum number of players. The other dad said no even though he had room because he wants the kids on his team to have a good amount of playing time. I said I understand but wow……I’m feeling my son is being excluded. He probably won’t be able to join a team now. He keeps asking me what team he’s on and I don’t know what to say to him. Is this normal?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Op here. I’m just shocked that one of the parents said no because of playing time even though he has room on his team. I can’t imagine being so mean. I’d never exclude a kid who didn’t have a team. It’s unbelievable to me

If you were not given a chance to indicate that your son wanted to do it, yes, that is mean. On the other hand, I am the financial manager for my child's team. I sent out an email to all team members asking if they wanted to do futsal, and told them when they needed to let me know by. I also followed up with a text, again giving the date to indicate whether kids were doing it. One of the moms did not respond to either, and then, after I told every person how much they owed for futsal, and most of them paid me, suddently reached out to say her son wanted to do it. I said no, because we already had a sufficient roster, I want the kids to get playing time, and I don't want to re-do the finances and adjust everyone else's payments.

Very familiar with this scenario. Kids parents try to play it cheap, their kid then finds out and complains and now it’s someone else’s fault. Not saying this is your scenario OP, just empathizing with PP above.

OP, assuming you’re being truthful here, then yes your kid/you is likely not viewed as either good enough or not in the right social circles. If he wants to play futsal, then you’ll have to find another futsal team he can join. Otherwise he should practice on his own and work on his quickness and foot skills and maybe play basketball for the exercise and friends.

Anonymous wrote:

Op here. I’m just shocked that one of the parents said no because of playing time even though he has room on his team. I can’t imagine being so mean. I’d never exclude a kid who didn’t have a team. It’s unbelievable to me

If you were not given a chance to indicate that your son wanted to do it, yes, that is mean. On the other hand, I am the financial manager for my child's team. I sent out an email to all team members asking if they wanted to do futsal, and told them when they needed to let me know by. I also followed up with a text, again giving the date to indicate whether kids were doing it. One of the moms did not respond to either, and then, after I told every person how much they owed for futsal, and most of them paid me, suddently reached out to say her son wanted to do it. I said no, because we already had a sufficient roster, I want the kids to get playing time, and I don't want to re-do the finances and adjust everyone else's payments.

No it is not normal for my child's teams (Alexandria), but they have a pretty set system. Most kids try out for futsal ID, and then for the kids who don't get a spot, or want to do both, the team manager or coach will usually put together a team of kids to play together. That being said, IME, if people have a history of doing the non-ID team, and not paying their share, there can be issues with getting invited in future years. But for people new to the club, less friendly with the kids/parents, they would be invited, yes. Just those who have a history of shirking on payment could have an issue.
. No issues with payment on my part. I’ve paid for the year

Anonymous wrote:No it is not normal for my child's teams (Alexandria), but they have a pretty set system. Most kids try out for futsal ID, and then for the kids who don't get a spot, or want to do both, the team manager or coach will usually put together a team of kids to play together. That being said, IME, if people have a history of doing the non-ID team, and not paying their share, there can be issues with getting invited in future years. But for people new to the club, less friendly with the kids/parents, they would be invited, yes. Just those who have a history of shirking on payment could have an issue.

Anonymous wrote:Is this normal, yes. Is it right, no. At that age everyone should be given the chance to participate. Sounds like your team is crap and even if it's parents organizing it a real coach invested in his players can let the parents know he expects it to be open to everyone before they go off and form teams. Sounds like he/she is condoning the clique approach. If you think it's just an honest mistake then talk to the coach again and see what he says, but that seems unlikely. For whatever reason, he's not part of the friend group, they don't think he's good enough, or whatever, it sounds like the childish parents running futsal made a decision to exclude him.

Unless you want your child to be miserable not recommended to try to force your way onto one of the teams where he is not wanted--they will find a way to make him suffer for it.

In the long term you have to take this into account when determining if this team is a good fit for your kid. If he gets along with his teammates and the coach and is learning and growing maybe it's just a few crappy parents and you want to stay. Or maybe the issue isn't just limited to the parent sideline and it's time to start looking.

Many of the local futsal leagues have individual signups and others if you contact the league organizer can point you in the direction of any teams looking for more players. Maybe playing with another group over the winter for futsal will be just the eye-opener he needs and maybe even get lucky and make some contacts that could lead to a better team for the spring.

Op here. I’m just shocked that one of the parents said no because of playing time even though he has room on his team. I can’t imagine being so mean. I’d never exclude a kid who didn’t have a team. It’s unbelievable to me

Anonymous wrote:+1 my kid has been on both sides of it. Often included, sometimes excluded. Parents have to do some leg work too. You can't expect other parents to do everything for your kid.