I just don’t get it. Where is the sense of perspective? You think bringing black kids into the world is abusive?

Did anyone think this in the 50s/60s? During Jim Crow? Things are monumentally better for black people and all people now. Massive legal reform, economic progress, equal (or better) representation in culture and the arts, black millionaires and billionaires, presidents and senators. Every elite institution is bending over backward to unload trucks of money for qualified black candidates. No company in America would even think of publishing an ad campaign not featuring POC or putting out a movie that doesn’t feature a heroic black or other POC lead character. Decades of rampant police abuse of POC is finally getting exposed for all to see and stamped out for good.

But… Virginia barely elected a Republican? And queue the hysteria?

I clearly have a view, but I’m honestly not trying to be insensitive or obtuse. The black people I’m close to—admittedly, rich and mostly from top schools, etc—are doing just great.

I genuinely just feel like people are living in alternate universes right now. We’re not even describing the same factual world.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should get help OP. Your children are healthy ( hopefully). But, its so gross that you think that out of all the things that can make someone’s life difficult race is the end all. Get perspective - your not a woman in the middle east, someone fleeing from Russia/N.Korea, and your children aren’t born with chronic disabilities like ERB ( look it up).

Signed a black parent

Someone fleeing from North Korea will gain freedom if they are successful while a Black American born here will always have to deal with racism.

They also have a 90% chance of death. Black Americans are not trying to escape a murderous regime. Many are in fact getting welfare, part of the military, college professors, bus drivers, and doctors

I think you can say this about white folks too.

Also interesting that this was the first thing that PP suggested

Pp here, I see how that read badly but honestly I was just trying to show that Black people can be anything. I personally go to a Black doctor, have a Black pediatrician, etc

I appreciate your coming back to clarify and say something positive and factual. Thank you.

I’m not black, so I can’t pretend to know what you’re experiencing, but I do think I kind of understand the feeling that maybe we’re not doing our kids any favors by bringing them into a world where there’s genocide, murder, rape, torture, racism, famine, disease, pestilence, climate change. There are many horrific things in the world that I wish I could keep my kids from even knowing exist, but there are a lot of beautiful things too — thoughtful, loving, generous people, the majesty of nature, the thrill of falling in love, the support and companionship of friends, pride earned through a hard won accomplishment.

I’m sorry you’re feeling down. Please reach out IRL to someone who loves you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should get help OP. Your children are healthy ( hopefully). But, its so gross that you think that out of all the things that can make someone’s life difficult race is the end all. Get perspective - your not a woman in the middle east, someone fleeing from Russia/N.Korea, and your children aren’t born with chronic disabilities like ERB ( look it up).

Signed a black parent

Someone fleeing from North Korea will gain freedom if they are successful while a Black American born here will always have to deal with racism.

They also have a 90% chance of death. Black Americans are not trying to escape a murderous regime. Many are in fact getting welfare, part of the military, college professors, bus drivers, and doctors

I think you can say this about white folks too.

Also interesting that this was the first thing that PP suggested

Pp here, I see how that read badly but honestly I was just trying to show that Black people can be anything. I personally go to a Black doctor, have a Black pediatrician, etc

Anonymous wrote:Like it was essentially child abuse just bringing them into the world.

OP - are you glad to be alive yourself? Why do you think your children's lives would be worse? Please don't believe the hype; the vast majority of people are not racist and will treat your children well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should get help OP. Your children are healthy ( hopefully). But, its so gross that you think that out of all the things that can make someone’s life difficult race is the end all. Get perspective - your not a woman in the middle east, someone fleeing from Russia/N.Korea, and your children aren’t born with chronic disabilities like ERB ( look it up).

Signed a black parent

Someone fleeing from North Korea will gain freedom if they are successful while a Black American born here will always have to deal with racism.

They also have a 90% chance of death. Black Americans are not trying to escape a murderous regime. Many are in fact getting welfare, part of the military, college professors, bus drivers, and doctors

I think you can say this about white folks too.

Also interesting that this was the first thing that PP suggested

Anonymous wrote:OP, I’m the mom of a Black boy who is growing up very quickly and I’m so fearful. My adorable toddler that white people loved because he was the cutest thing around, is now a 49” tall kindergartner who looks 8 to them. What is going to happen when he is 12 and looks 16? We already are fighting with teachers to treat him like a kindergartner and not an 8 year old. How will I teach him to navigate this world?

Yes - this a very scary thing. I’m get really apprehensive when my son engages in rowdy, loud play with his non-black friends (all nice kids by the way). All normal stuff, but I’m tempted to tell him to just back away for a bit, or at least don’t hang in more than groups of 2 or 3 boys. On the other hand, I bristle at having to put those thoughts in his head and crushing his spirit. Then again, I also don’t want him to resent white people for not having to think about these things. My parents were very blunt with me about all this stuff, but they grew up poor in the Jim Crow south and probably had a different index on these things. It’s complicated as hell, but I’ve never known anything different and can’t imagine any other world.

OP, I’m the mom of a Black boy who is growing up very quickly and I’m so fearful. My adorable toddler that white people loved because he was the cutest thing around, is now a 49” tall kindergartner who looks 8 to them. What is going to happen when he is 12 and looks 16? We already are fighting with teachers to treat him like a kindergartner and not an 8 year old. How will I teach him to navigate this world?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should get help OP. Your children are healthy ( hopefully). But, its so gross that you think that out of all the things that can make someone’s life difficult race is the end all. Get perspective - your not a woman in the middle east, someone fleeing from Russia/N.Korea, and your children aren’t born with chronic disabilities like ERB ( look it up).

Signed a black parent

Someone fleeing from North Korea will gain freedom if they are successful while a Black American born here will always have to deal with racism.

They also have a 90% chance of death. Black Americans are not trying to escape a murderous regime. Many are in fact getting welfare, part of the military, college professors, bus drivers, and doctors

I think you can say this about white folks too.

Take care of yourself, op. And if you think there’s a chance you may be clinically depressed talk to your doctor.

*trickier

Yeah, another black parent here. Hang in there OP, I get it but I've long since ceased to have any expectations of my fellow Americans and so don't really get disappointed by them...not anymore at least. It's a terrible situation from top to bottom and likely always will be. The good thing is that we can still carve out happy fulfilling lives, even if our orientation toward our country/society is a bit thicker, complicated than others.

The responses on this thread are so far from comforting. Never post here for reassurance, looking for a kind word or sense of community.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should get help OP. Your children are healthy ( hopefully). But, its so gross that you think that out of all the things that can make someone’s life difficult race is the end all. Get perspective - your not a woman in the middle east, someone fleeing from Russia/N.Korea, and your children aren’t born with chronic disabilities like ERB ( look it up).

Signed a black parent

Someone fleeing from North Korea will gain freedom if they are successful while a Black American born here will always have to deal with racism.

They also have a 90% chance of death. Black Americans are not trying to escape a murderous regime. Many are in fact getting welfare, part of the military, college professors, bus drivers, and doctors

Anonymous wrote:You should get help OP. Your children are healthy ( hopefully). But, its so gross that you think that out of all the things that can make someone’s life difficult race is the end all. Get perspective - your not a woman in the middle east, someone fleeing from Russia/N.Korea, and your children aren’t born with chronic disabilities like ERB ( look it up).

Signed a black parent

+1 I'm a Black parent of a smart healthy confident girl. She has tons of friends, teachers think highly of her. She is social, athletic and imaginative. She's brave, loves trying new things and thinks it's her god given right to travel. It's great being her parent.

The only time it sucks for me is the daily 45 minutes of cello practice. Ever hear a mediocre 8 yo cello player?