Update op?

For heaven's sake OP. You should have cameras all over and not have confronted anyone. Time would have told you if anyone was stealing...not that difficult.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With DH by your side, I’d seat them together and tell them you know one of them is stealing and they have two minutes to be honest before you fire both of them. Then start a timer and stare in silence. The innocent one will freak out at the thief and you will have your answer.

And the thief won't freak out? This won't work

You'd better have incontrovertible evidence if you accuse me of stealing because I would sue you.

I would use a hidden nanny cam inside your bedroom and set out a decoy piece of “expensive” jewelry out & take a wait and see attitude.

In the meantime I would look around your house just in case your necklace IS in fact lying around somewhere.

Plz keep us posted OP!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t confront. Both items are somewhere in your house. No one starts stealing suddenly, especially the full time nanny, without a trail of bad references. And as the PP said, how would someone get a bottle of champagne out of your house?

Being accused of stealing is a terrible accusation. You can ruin someone’s life.

Um, hide it in a backpack? What’s so difficult about getting a bottle out of the house?

A magnum of champagne is big! Our nanny doesn’t carry a huge backpack around.

I thought it was a regular bottle?

I’d let the sitter go and see if anything else goes missing. If not, you’ve found your culprit without alienating the more valuable employee.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With DH by your side, I’d seat them together and tell them you know one of them is stealing and they have two minutes to be honest before you fire both of them. Then start a timer and stare in silence. The innocent one will freak out at the thief and you will have your answer.

And the thief won't freak out? This won't work

Crap, I forgot everyone isn’t as good at spotting a liar as I am. I’d totally be able to tell.

Um but they both could be stealing...confronting w/ DH is bad idea. Just cut bait and move on without either of them.

First I’d hide everything valuable. Then I’d hide a camera (some are the same size and look as a USB wall charger) in strategic locations and place something that appears valuable (maybe a fake gold necklace) within sight and wait to see what happens. If someone is stealing from you, you will need to have irrefutable evidence to get your stuff back.

I’d start searching for a new nanny. Without catching them in the act you’ll never know which of these 2 women is responsible and this will just continue to fester and gnaw away at you. You won’t be able to look at them the same way.
Start fresh and keep your valuables locked away.

the wine is somewhere random--it's still there but not where he "thinks" he put it--or it's in the same spot but he forgot what the bottle looks like.

The necklace is either in your house somewhere random where it fell or you put it absentmindedly, or it fell off out in public because the chain broke or it wasn't clasped properly. No one stole them. You might have taken it off an put it in a random purse pocket last time you had your hair done, for example, or it might have gotten hung up on a sweater or shirt and broken. I always break necklaces that way.

This is OP. The girlfriend situation is highly unlikely so not even going to entertain it. DH and I work from home and are literally never apart these days, plus I don’t drink champagne or go in our wine fridge so I would never know this thing was missing - there would be no reason to make up a story about it.

That aside, both sitters had good references but our nanny worked with her last family for 8 years and still babysits for them on weekends sometimes so I really doubt it’s her. I know she wants a long term job so it wouldn’t be worth stealing over. My afternoon sitter also had glowing reviews but she hasn’t had very long term families or worked with anyone more than 1-2 days per week. Maybe I let her go and see if things stop going missing.

There was definitely no one else in the house since either started. No service men, no play dates, no house cleaner.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With DH by your side, I’d seat them together and tell them you know one of them is stealing and they have two minutes to be honest before you fire both of them. Then start a timer and stare in silence. The innocent one will freak out at the thief and you will have your answer.

And the thief won't freak out? This won't work

Crap, I forgot everyone isn’t as good at spotting a liar as I am. I’d totally be able to tell.

Keep your bedroom locked, get cameras and get two new nannies.

Do you have cleaners or anyone else in the house? Is it possible someone else took it?

Put some bottles of wine or jewelry etc in sight of basement camera and see if they disappear..

Is there anyone else who has come into your house that could have taken these items?