I say that instead of trying to dress up just out of a desire to want to dress up, arrange a date night that requires dressing up. No idea what this would be (the fanciest I have ever gotten is high school prom and one of DH's work parties) but I'm sure there is something.

Glad I married a man that knows how to dress.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t care what my husband wears. I used to care a little if he was wildly out of step with where we are going, but at some point I realized he is a grown ass man and it is not my problem. If he asks me, I’ll tell him what I think other men will be wearing where we are going (eg a tie or not).

+1. He wears the same thing. Over and over and over.

I definitely care and DH definitely cares.

Why wouldn’t you want to look nice?

Yes. I do care. I want my DH to present himself in clean, non-ripped or soiled clothing to the world. I may prefer him in button ups to tee-shirts (and I complement him when he's wearing what I like) but it is ultimately his look, not mine.

I inspect my DHs look and tell him to change this or that. He is clueless. He had a pants on that were split up the back and he walked around like that most of the day.

I curate his closet and throw out pieces that I don't like. He doesn't mind because he doesn't like to have to think about fashion or soiled clothes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the things that initially attracted me to my wife was her figure. She really is an objectively gorgeous woman and still has that same figure 20 years later. Today most everything she wears is loose, baggy and long shirts that cover any curves. On the rare occasions she wears something simple (like jeans and a tank top) or dresses up I’m like DAYUM! I can tell she turns heads in public too. I’d love to see her wear more form fitting clothes.

I wonder how many more men feel this way. It’s a fine line between one dressing for themself and doing things that make your partner happy (like wearing form fitting clothes). It’s also difficult as women age. Short skirts, crop tops, and bodycon dresses look out of place on 40-year-old women. Your wife still looks awesome, but most women over 40 don’t look great in tight clothes.

I would never ask her to show more skin than she’s comfortable with but I’d love to see her in jeans and a fitted shirt that doesn’t go down to her thighs. She has no problems with bikini’s, btw and she looks great in those.

As long as the dumb stuff stays in the house, I keep my mouth shut.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is an incredibly wide variety of what "jeans and a t-shirt" can mean. I'd buy new stuff every few years to make sure the cuts and silhouettes are keeping a bit. It doesn't have to be trendy, but if you are still wearing jeans from college 10+ years ago, it's probably time for an update.

Look around at other women whose style you like. They don't need to be trendy, and you don't have to make all the same choices, but it's a good way to gauge what needs refreshing in your own wardrobe.

Beyond that, I don't think the details of what you wear matter much. If you are comfortable, and dressing appropriately for the occasion, no issues.

This is where I am with what my husband wears. His jeans from 10 years ago look frumpy now. I do buy clothes for him to refresh a bit, keeping with what is his style and preferences.

OP here. I wear clothes from years ago. It feels wasteful to me to get rid of them. I feel the same about buying new clothes. I already have enough to wear, so it feels like a waste of money to buy more.

I do look at other women’s outfits, but I have a hard time imagining how those clothes would look on me. It’s outside of my comfort zone.

I think I dress appropriately for where we go. It’s just that we don’t really go anywhere that would require dressier attire. We make decent salaries (HHI $350K), we just don’t eat at expensive restaurants or go to shows (I’ve never been to the Kennedy Center).

DH bought me 2 casual dresses, and I didn’t like the way they looked on me so I never wear them. He has comments to friends in the past he likes how some Latina women dress and weather girls. It’s just not me at all.

Ok so there is a HUGE middle ground between Latina bombshells and frumpy (possibly?) jeans and a t-shirt.

How about a nice blouse? A date night outfit that shows just a little more? You still want to be comfortable, but there has to be something that you put on that makes you think "yup this looks great" even if you don't wear it daily. Wearing it sometimes is ok too! I used to wear a lot of heels, and now I don't. But I don't just do boring ballet flats. Get some cute sandals, or a chunky low heel booties, or whatever feels attainable to you. Maybe find a dress you DO like, not what your DH bought you. Make sure you have shoes to go with it that you also like, but that maybe look more exciting than your normal things.

Even if you are doing jeans and sneakers, what sneakers are you wearing? Old beat up dirty ones? Do you have a "nice" pair? If you wear a button down, is it a bit fitted, or just baggy and loose?

You make a huge amount of money. Go to Nordstrom and buy some nice casual clothes that look good and are comfy.

I don’t care what my husband wears. I used to care a little if he was wildly out of step with where we are going, but at some point I realized he is a grown ass man and it is not my problem. If he asks me, I’ll tell him what I think other men will be wearing where we are going (eg a tie or not).

Anonymous wrote:One of the things that initially attracted me to my wife was her figure. She really is an objectively gorgeous woman and still has that same figure 20 years later. Today most everything she wears is loose, baggy and long shirts that cover any curves. On the rare occasions she wears something simple (like jeans and a tank top) or dresses up I’m like DAYUM! I can tell she turns heads in public too. I’d love to see her wear more form fitting clothes.

I wonder how many more men feel this way. It’s a fine line between one dressing for themself and doing things that make your partner happy (like wearing form fitting clothes). It’s also difficult as women age. Short skirts, crop tops, and bodycon dresses look out of place on 40-year-old women. Your wife still looks awesome, but most women over 40 don’t look great in tight clothes.

One of the things that initially attracted me to my wife was her figure. She really is an objectively gorgeous woman and still has that same figure 20 years later. Today most everything she wears is loose, baggy and long shirts that cover any curves. On the rare occasions she wears something simple (like jeans and a tank top) or dresses up I’m like DAYUM! I can tell she turns heads in public too. I’d love to see her wear more form fitting clothes.

Anonymous wrote:Do you care what your partner wears? Outside torn, stained, or soiled clothing, does the style really matter? Do you ask your partner to wear something or buy them clothing? Does their clothing choices affect your desire/attraction to them?

I’m a late 40s married woman who doesn’t care about fashion. I typically wear jeans and a T-shirt or sweater/sweatshirt most days. I wear dress pants and a sweater/blouse for work. DH and I have an active sex life, so I don’t think he really cares. I got to thinking whether I should wear something else. I hate dresses/skirts as I have chunky legs and I don’t feel comfortable at my age in form fitting clothes. DH isn’t the type to say anything.

I don't care, but since sweetie is the shy type who doesn't want to stick out, at social events I help pick out things that will promote blending as a suggestion, not a rule. Mowing lawns or going to the grocer I really don't care even if the belly shows. If visiting family or going to a work event, usually we make an effort to make a favorable impression. I don't think you should care and your hubby sounds great. P.S.-I doubt anyone is judging your legs and if so you don't need them in your life. If you want to wear sheer leg flowy pants-GO FOR IT!

I am obese and wear jeans, sweatshirts and sneakers. I’m sure my husband would love me to dress up more, but ultimately, he loves me for exactly who I am.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am very athletic, work out every day and walk a ton, so it is super important for me that my clothes and shoes are comfy. I would live in yoga pants and sneakers if I could. Dressing up for me means putting on jeans, a blouse and some nice flats to go for dinner. My DH (silently) hates that. Ideally he would want me in sexy dresses and heels at all times. He never says that directly, but rarely fails to point out a woman who is dressed according to that standard. For me it is mostly the heels. I hate how they restrict my movement, hurt my feet and tighten up my calves. He on the other hand believes that driving somewhere and then sitting all night because my feet would kill me otherwise is perfectly fine as long as I look good.

Ha. What does he wear?

(I live in workout clothes too and have worn heels once in the past 10 years)

I'm like both of you. I have been work at home full-time since 2006. Prior to this, I wore heels every day to work and going out. I had 100s of them. I could literally run a marathon in them. I would site-see all over Europe with no feet complaints.

I now only wear shoes I can slide into. Flip flops and sandals in the summer and ugg type boots in the winter.

But--on a night out--I still love a heel even if they now hurt. They make everything look better--my legs longer-even in jeans. I'm only 5'4". There is also a certain satisfaction that my husband loves it. If there is a lot of walking-I might slip out of low shoes/flats and slip on heels before we arrive at destination. I am still willing to suffer for fashion at 51.