Anxiety. And he apparently comes by it honestly, OP -- look in the mirror!

--I say this with love and as an anxious mom of an anxious child. Asking for letters of rec has to be one of my least favorite things ever. "Do you mind taking your own personal time to write a letter about how great I am? Thanks!" I know the actual conversation is different, but that's what it felt like in my mind and I put it off as long as possible.

They are a year away from being in college. What hovering do you expect you will be doing for them then?

Anonymous wrote:I am rather shocked how involved some of you are with your kids application process.

Why? Some kids need a little more guidance. We should stay hands off and no matter the consequences? That is insane.

This doesn't apply to me because my kid is super organized, but of course I can empathize with other families...

How does it go with your kids? Enlighten us.

I'm a counselor. This class is notably worse than others. Likely the Covid impact.

My son doesn't want to write anything that sounds "braggy" or "self promotional." Needless to say, he's not having an easy time of it.

Anonymous wrote:I so wish that all of us with darling 17 year old boys who are caught up in this madness could get together and form a support group. Especially those of us who are going through the college admissions process with a first kid.

And yes, I think it's the fear of failure. The confidence is a front masking the anxiety about having to write a document expressing his feelings about a topic. Have you ever known a 17 year old male to have a feeling about anything, much less be able to write about it?

OP, you are not alone. Meet for coffee one morning?

It's not just the boys...my girl has sky-high anxiety and the paralysis re: these essays is huge.. I guess the difference is there is no masking it with confidence. She lets her insecurity flag fly.

I so wish that all of us with darling 17 year old boys who are caught up in this madness could get together and form a support group. Especially those of us who are going through the college admissions process with a first kid.

And yes, I think it's the fear of failure. The confidence is a front masking the anxiety about having to write a document expressing his feelings about a topic. Have you ever known a 17 year old male to have a feeling about anything, much less be able to write about it?

OP, you are not alone. Meet for coffee one morning?

Not uncommon - lots of kids wait until the last minute and you just have to take some deep breaths. If your child does not have a history of missing deadlines for important assignments then I would not worry much.

Agree on the stick/carrot approach - my child was easily bribed by food but you could also do the "no screens/social life" route.

Are you paying the college counselor, or is that a school counselor? If you are paying then I would ask the counselor to enforce the schedule.

Anonymous wrote:Asked to write a history paper? No problem. An essay about themselves, their thoughts or beliefs? Total shutdown. This isn’t uncommon. Highly recommend that his weekend social life is put on hold until his applications that are due Monday are complete. And, please don’t wait til 11:59 Sunday night. Deep breaths.

Not 11:59 Sunday night, 11:59 Monday night right????? That's what my kid thinks is the due date.

This was me last year. DC had heart set on a top school (6% admit rate), but would not complete the final school required essay, which most kids spend months on. DC stayed up all night the night before the application was due and wrote that essay. I hardly understood it, but made sure there were no typos etc. Submitted the application hours before the ED deadline. The essay submission was lost by the school and DC had to resumbit it weeks later. DC refused to work on any other applications while ED decision was pending. I was going nuts!
DC was admitted ED. Sometimes things work out.
P.S. The school lost the deposit too, so save all receipts.

Avoidance-- the confidence is a "front"- it's likely anxiety.

Asked to write a history paper? No problem. An essay about themselves, their thoughts or beliefs? Total shutdown. This isn’t uncommon. Highly recommend that his weekend social life is put on hold until his applications that are due Monday are complete. And, please don’t wait til 11:59 Sunday night. Deep breaths.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Simple, procrastination for fear of failure. Very common.

+100

A lot of these kids who are usually decent at time management seem to be freezing when it comes to these essays (my DC among them). I think it's very hard for them to write personal narratives--especially when so many of them are anxious and insecure to begin with and now are constantly told how important these applications/essays are. The pressure causes her to shut down.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am rather shocked how involved some of you are with your kids application process.

+100

All of you that are shocked must be new here.

Anonymous wrote:I am rather shocked how involved some of you are with your kids application process.

+100