Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What things has he done in the past and liked/not liked?

What’s the sport he plays?

Interest in art/music?

Maybe someone could take this info and make suggestions.

OP here. He likes video games and board games. Plays basketball but follows all kinds of sports and sports stats. His interests are limited so trying to help him expand.

So, if he plays basketball, he’s in reasonably good shape…maybe try some individual sports like rock climbing and fencing. He can meet the kids he’s learning with but it’s low stakes as he doesn’t have to jump in and be teammates.

Where I live, the schools and our library has gaming (video and board) gaming groups.

My oldest son (8th grader) is into art and he takes several classes each year (drawing/painting/film)…he reports that the kids are mostly quickly, but, easy to get along with.

My 9th grader joined the math club at his HS and is thinking about doing the computer science club. Several friends moved away causing his social circle to get smaller.

His main interests are video games and music. I'm looking forward to him doing band in 10th for his arts elective.

I also think the stage crew is a good idea...lots of kids to interact with while doing something with his hands. So not all conversation!

I am a big proponent of theater and backstage/tech. That will be getting started right about now in most schools. Maybe he is not ready for a stage role (but freshmen are NOT likely to get even a named part - more like "boy on street selling apples", and "mobster number 4", with lines like "golly". So -- if any inkling at all that way I would encourage him to tryout for a part in whatever play/musical is going to take place. If that is a bridge too far -- then backstage crew is ideal. Wear black, work in the sound booth, or behind stage pushing props, or all of the above.

Theater kids are all pretty laid back and welcoming socially with other kids. And, it can be a good chance for freshman to mix a little with older kids, and meet a few other freshmen. There tends to be a fair amount of "down time" in the process so kids can hang out and chat a bit.

And -- I cannot emphasize this enough -- you basically just have to be willing to show up on time, put in a good faith effort at whatever, be polite and nice. No one is expecting a 9th grader to set the world on fire in a high school production.

Mine is in band, french club and astronomy club and does fencing outside school

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just an FYI that the ADHD plus no friends facts mean you could be looking at a very mild case of what used to be Aspergers. Consider group therapy and some targeted pharma help through psychiatrist. Abilify (for flexible thinking) and Lexapro (for mood regulation and anxiety) were game changers for my kid, but it’s a long road. Hang in there.

+1 I say this as a mom of a kid with what used to be called Aspergers who has friends, but needed more helping learning social skills than a kid without it. It's not just about joining the clubs. He has to make an effort to turn acquaintances into friends and there are so many social rules by this age. Some kids just naturally smile, make conversation and do friendship gestures that are welcoming, but not overbearing others need some coaching. There are subtle cues to read to see if the person is interested or annoyed.

OP here he is on meds and therapy in place. Now just need to find the activities for him to practice what he’s learning about social skills!

My ADHD awkward 9th grader is in robotics and comp sci clubs.

Anonymous wrote:Just an FYI that the ADHD plus no friends facts mean you could be looking at a very mild case of what used to be Aspergers. Consider group therapy and some targeted pharma help through psychiatrist. Abilify (for flexible thinking) and Lexapro (for mood regulation and anxiety) were game changers for my kid, but it’s a long road. Hang in there.

+1 I say this as a mom of a kid with what used to be called Aspergers who has friends, but needed more helping learning social skills than a kid without it. It's not just about joining the clubs. He has to make an effort to turn acquaintances into friends and there are so many social rules by this age. Some kids just naturally smile, make conversation and do friendship gestures that are welcoming, but not overbearing others need some coaching. There are subtle cues to read to see if the person is interested or annoyed.