Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous[b wrote:]Get on the apps! There are so many people out there looking for the same thing you are[/b].

55 y.o. male here. Just also left a long and abusive marriage. My exW was NPD diagnosed. COVID cut off most of the regular avenues I had for my social life and meeting people, and I went on three apps: Tinder; Bumble and Happn. The problem I have now is there are way too many interested women out there - divorced or single - in my age range - say 45 - 60 - who respond to my profile that it's literally like I have a "binder full of women." I am at no loss for getting a date if I want one. I did develop a short and intense relationship with a lovely woman that I would've liked to develop further, but she decided she had other priorities so we "broke up" but are friends. And that's a good side of this too: I've a met a few women where there was no spark on the romantic end but we liked each other enough to be friends and hand out. It's been fun. No need to feel lonely.

Something tells me the experience of a 55 yo man will be unlike the experience of a 50 yo woman. Just a hunch, hope I’m wrong.

As a 53 y.o. man, I suspect you're correct.

Yes, the 50 year old woman will get a lot more matches!

Absolutely not! Men in their 50s get multiples more matches on dating sites. Easy reason, they are drawing from pretty much the entire 30+ women pool. Women over 50 pretty much draw from the over 60 men and men under 40 who think they're desperate for a one night stand.

This is really untrue but men like to think this. Men have no idea how many options women get at any age.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP I too do not enjoy sex with some random guy or even a FWB. I choose no sex over that. On the other hand, if I am in a relationship with a guy I like a whole lot and am attracted to I literally want sex everyday. So, curious, do I have a low, high, or medium sex drive?

Have you read Come As You Are?

No I have not but I just checked it out on Amazon. It sounds fascinating. However, I'm not sure it's a book I need to read. I'm perfectly happy with my own sexuality and relationships.

I do think it's interesting that many people (mostly men) think if you can go any length of time with no sex (with another person) then you must have a low sex drive. I do not believe that is the case for everyone (especially some women) because some people (including me) are fine abstaining from sex until their partner and relationship requirements are met. Then they are active, happy sex partners, often with high sexual appetites. Some people (usually men) also like to talk about their sexual "needs" which I think is a false concept. While societies do need people to reproduce, individuals can go their whole lives with no sex and it's not going to kill anybody and likely won't really even hurt people in any serious way. I think lots of people (mostly men) call it "needs" to justify behavior they should be able to repress as intelligent, civilized adults.

Anonymous wrote:^OP and this has been exactly my experience. People contacting me are total losers and of all the people I’ve likes age range 45-60 only one has liked me back.

If I’m in that boat, I fully intend to cultivate my inner lesbian.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP I too do not enjoy sex with some random guy or even a FWB. I choose no sex over that. On the other hand, if I am in a relationship with a guy I like a whole lot and am attracted to I literally want sex everyday. So, curious, do I have a low, high, or medium sex drive?

OP here. I am this way. Zero erotic interest unless in relationship with someone I trust and have deep connection with and then libido is off the charts insatiable.

+1. The bar for trust is very high due to past experiences. Once over it, the sky’s the limit.

Problem is, men have too many options to play the game of "how much do I trust you before I have sex with you". If your past experiences are getting in the way of you trusting others, then you should work it out with a therapist before re-entering the dating pool...that way you aren't wasting your's or anyone else's time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous[b wrote:]Get on the apps! There are so many people out there looking for the same thing you are[/b].

55 y.o. male here. Just also left a long and abusive marriage. My exW was NPD diagnosed. COVID cut off most of the regular avenues I had for my social life and meeting people, and I went on three apps: Tinder; Bumble and Happn. The problem I have now is there are way too many interested women out there - divorced or single - in my age range - say 45 - 60 - who respond to my profile that it's literally like I have a "binder full of women." I am at no loss for getting a date if I want one. I did develop a short and intense relationship with a lovely woman that I would've liked to develop further, but she decided she had other priorities so we "broke up" but are friends. And that's a good side of this too: I've a met a few women where there was no spark on the romantic end but we liked each other enough to be friends and hand out. It's been fun. No need to feel lonely.

Something tells me the experience of a 55 yo man will be unlike the experience of a 50 yo woman. Just a hunch, hope I’m wrong.

As a 53 y.o. man, I suspect you're correct.

Yes, the 50 year old woman will get a lot more matches!

Absolutely not! Men in their 50s get multiples more matches on dating sites. Easy reason, they are drawing from pretty much the entire 30+ women pool. Women over 50 pretty much draw from the over 60 men and men under 40 who think they're desperate for a one night stand.

No, men over 50 also get to fish in the under 30 lake. I get a fair amount of matches with women 21-30. I can just barely keep IT up.

Fixed that for you.

Anonymous wrote:NP I too do not enjoy sex with some random guy or even a FWB. I choose no sex over that. On the other hand, if I am in a relationship with a guy I like a whole lot and am attracted to I literally want sex everyday. So, curious, do I have a low, high, or medium sex drive?

You're just complicated.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous[b wrote:]Get on the apps! There are so many people out there looking for the same thing you are[/b].

55 y.o. male here. Just also left a long and abusive marriage. My exW was NPD diagnosed. COVID cut off most of the regular avenues I had for my social life and meeting people, and I went on three apps: Tinder; Bumble and Happn. The problem I have now is there are way too many interested women out there - divorced or single - in my age range - say 45 - 60 - who respond to my profile that it's literally like I have a "binder full of women." I am at no loss for getting a date if I want one. I did develop a short and intense relationship with a lovely woman that I would've liked to develop further, but she decided she had other priorities so we "broke up" but are friends. And that's a good side of this too: I've a met a few women where there was no spark on the romantic end but we liked each other enough to be friends and hand out. It's been fun. No need to feel lonely.

Something tells me the experience of a 55 yo man will be unlike the experience of a 50 yo woman. Just a hunch, hope I’m wrong.

As a 53 y.o. man, I suspect you're correct.

Yes, the 50 year old woman will get a lot more matches!

Absolutely not! Men in their 50s get multiples more matches on dating sites. Easy reason, they are drawing from pretty much the entire 30+ women pool. Women over 50 pretty much draw from the over 60 men and men under 40 who think they're desperate for a one night stand.

Only if they are willing to pay.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous[b wrote:]Get on the apps! There are so many people out there looking for the same thing you are[/b].

55 y.o. male here. Just also left a long and abusive marriage. My exW was NPD diagnosed. COVID cut off most of the regular avenues I had for my social life and meeting people, and I went on three apps: Tinder; Bumble and Happn. The problem I have now is there are way too many interested women out there - divorced or single - in my age range - say 45 - 60 - who respond to my profile that it's literally like I have a "binder full of women." I am at no loss for getting a date if I want one. I did develop a short and intense relationship with a lovely woman that I would've liked to develop further, but she decided she had other priorities so we "broke up" but are friends. And that's a good side of this too: I've a met a few women where there was no spark on the romantic end but we liked each other enough to be friends and hand out. It's been fun. No need to feel lonely.

Something tells me the experience of a 55 yo man will be unlike the experience of a 50 yo woman. Just a hunch, hope I’m wrong.

As a 53 y.o. man, I suspect you're correct.

Yes, the 50 year old woman will get a lot more matches!

Absolutely not! Men in their 50s get multiples more matches on dating sites. Easy reason, they are drawing from pretty much the entire 30+ women pool. Women over 50 pretty much draw from the over 60 men and men under 40 who think they're desperate for a one night stand.

No, men over 50 also get to fish in the under 30 lake. I get a fair amount of matches with women 21-30. I can just barely keep up.

Anonymous wrote:NP I too do not enjoy sex with some random guy or even a FWB. I choose no sex over that. On the other hand, if I am in a relationship with a guy I like a whole lot and am attracted to I literally want sex everyday. So, curious, do I have a low, high, or medium sex drive?

Have you read Come As You Are?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP I too do not enjoy sex with some random guy or even a FWB. I choose no sex over that. On the other hand, if I am in a relationship with a guy I like a whole lot and am attracted to I literally want sex everyday. So, curious, do I have a low, high, or medium sex drive?

OP here. I am this way. Zero erotic interest unless in relationship with someone I trust and have deep connection with and then libido is off the charts insatiable.

+1. The bar for trust is very high due to past experiences. Once over it, the sky’s the limit.

Anonymous wrote:NP I too do not enjoy sex with some random guy or even a FWB. I choose no sex over that. On the other hand, if I am in a relationship with a guy I like a whole lot and am attracted to I literally want sex everyday. So, curious, do I have a low, high, or medium sex drive?

OP here. I am this way. Zero erotic interest unless in relationship with someone I trust and have deep connection with and then libido is off the charts insatiable.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous[b wrote:]Get on the apps! There are so many people out there looking for the same thing you are[/b].

55 y.o. male here. Just also left a long and abusive marriage. My exW was NPD diagnosed. COVID cut off most of the regular avenues I had for my social life and meeting people, and I went on three apps: Tinder; Bumble and Happn. The problem I have now is there are way too many interested women out there - divorced or single - in my age range - say 45 - 60 - who respond to my profile that it's literally like I have a "binder full of women." I am at no loss for getting a date if I want one. I did develop a short and intense relationship with a lovely woman that I would've liked to develop further, but she decided she had other priorities so we "broke up" but are friends. And that's a good side of this too: I've a met a few women where there was no spark on the romantic end but we liked each other enough to be friends and hand out. It's been fun. No need to feel lonely.

Next step is to take a few of those that you have a connection with and develop a roster of FWBs. That way, you never have a drought.

Yes. That's what I need.

NP I too do not enjoy sex with some random guy or even a FWB. I choose no sex over that. On the other hand, if I am in a relationship with a guy I like a whole lot and am attracted to I literally want sex everyday. So, curious, do I have a low, high, or medium sex drive?

Not OP, but personally I am not able to orgasm when I have sex with someone I don't trust.

Anonymous wrote:Sex does not require emotions. Sex can be just that - sex. Physical enjoyment.

OP here and I don’t like the way I feel after these kinds of encounters. I find it unsatisfying and lackluster.