Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oy very. I'm an author who has heard all of these false platitudes.

What do you think when a friend doesn't mention your latest book? Is that better or worse then giving a compliment that praises something book-adjacent (hard work, etc) rather than the book itself?

Publishing a book is roughly the equivalent of a big promotion at work or an exciting new job. As a friend of the author's, you aren't obligated to mention it, and you aren't expected to know much about the inner workings of the process, but it's a little weird to not acknowledge it. If this is truly a friend, don't you want to share in your friend's joy?

Authors know that many people don't like their books. They are well aware. They don't value your opinion especially, TBH, but it is rude to go out of your way to say negative things about someone's creative work. It's not helpful, and it's demoralizing.

Anonymous wrote:Oy very. I'm an author who has heard all of these false platitudes.

What do you think when a friend doesn't mention your latest book? Is that better or worse then giving a compliment that praises something book-adjacent (hard work, etc) rather than the book itself?

She does not care about your opinion about her book—you aren’t her reader. Say you can’t believe she wrote a book and got it published, that that must be exciting!

I've been through this, OP. My close friend wrote a pretty self-indulgent book about a mental condition they have. I am old-fashioned and think that people who write about such things are narcissists making themselves the story. But he's a friend so ... I lied!

Just tell a little white lie.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you say to a friend who has published a romance novel that you think is TERRIBLE? It's published by a respected publisher (like Simon & Schuster, but not S&S). I just can't think of a positive thing to say.
I truly love this friend and am in awe that she is a published author, while mothering two little sons, and I've told her so.

I cannot believe you are a published author! I am so proud of you! I recommended the title to the library so you can get more readers. Do you have any ideas for your next novel?

Bingo!

And you can ask lots of questions. "How did you decide for This Character to do That?" "What was it like dealing with the publishing house?" "What hours of the day did you get your writing done?"

And always, "I am so proud of you."

How narcissistic are you to think your opinion matters over that of a reputable publisher? Be happy for her success and seek help for yourself.

Anonymous wrote:OP you need to understand romance books are awful and silly to begin with. However, there is a big market for it so likely the book was good enough to be published.

+1

If she's really your friend you only offer kind words and compliments for her success. Friends should be able to be honest with each other, but I have professional musician friends and have learned that this is the one case where it is better to temper the truth.

It takes so much to create something that succeeds as much as your friend has, and no one needs doubts from their friends.

OP you need to understand romance books are awful and silly to begin with. However, there is a big market for it so likely the book was good enough to be published.

After the book is published is not the time for constructive criticism. This is the time to celebrate. Give her a bottle of champagne, share in her excitement. Say CONGRATULATIONS!

How is this hard?

What kind of book is it?

Oy very. I'm an author who has heard all of these false platitudes.

Well, the publisher liked it, so obviously not everyone has your taste. Just tell her you're impressed.

Is it that hard to come up with some generics compliments, OP?

Just tell her the truth. "I hate that you are a published author and your book is horrible"