Anonymous
Post 10/21/2021 10:03     Subject: Why wouldn’t this person just SAHM for a year or two?
Focus on your own life OP. You're gross.
Anonymous
Post 10/21/2021 09:54     Subject: Why wouldn’t this person just SAHM for a year or two?
Anonymous wrote:I was an admin making 50k when my kids were little. I was young (25 with my first and 27 with my second) and continued to dump money into my 401k and my job offered much cheaper and more thorough insurance coverage than my husband's job. Yes, I was essentially "losing" money to work, but a decade later, I've gotten some lucky breaks by working my ass off for higher ups and now have my own admin - and make $150k a year. I would have loved to have stayed home with my babies, but knew this was the long-view right choice for our family.


Congratulations and great job!
Anonymous
Post 10/21/2021 09:54     Subject: Why wouldn’t this person just SAHM for a year or two?
It could be just to get out of the house - being a SAHM can be incredibly isolating. Maybe she gets perks through her job that she can't get elsewhere (if a fitness studio, maybe free classes that are important to her). Maybe she wants to contribute to a 401K. Maybe she just wants some spending money aside from what her husbands' income can provide. Maybe the health insurance benefits for the family are coming from her job. There could be a lot of reasons.
Anonymous
Post 10/21/2021 09:53     Subject: Why wouldn’t this person just SAHM for a year or two?
Anonymous wrote:I don’t think there’s any job you can just automatically find any time and I respect that my admins have careers (I’m a lawyer so I mean my paralegals and legal assistants).


Seriously an embarrassment about how 0P talks about admins . They are the oil that makes the machine run smoothly. I have a family member who’s a lawyer that tells new lawyers when they come in if they don’t get along with his paralegals and legal assistance they will be fired not the assistants.

At my job you get to know every single secretary and assistant that works here. They are a wealth of knowledge an extremely important.
Anonymous
Post 10/21/2021 09:52     Subject: Why wouldn’t this person just SAHM for a year or two?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Maybe she likes working? Maybe she enjoys being around her colleagues and clients? Maybe it's not all about the money? It's disgusting that you think the only reasons might be that she is stupid or can't handle being alone with her child.


I did not say this (at all) and if you read my posts you can see I’m trying to understand. I’m not judging her, I was just confused by this choice. I appreciate the PPs who mentioned things like work helping with PPD (I had PPD so I get that) and wanting to be around other adults. I can relate to those things and this makes a bit more sense to me now.

I definitely don’t think she’s stupid or can’t be alone with her kid. The opposite, actually. She’s a capable person and loving mom so I guess I expected her to either go back to her prior profession or stay home. I was thrown for a loop.


"Is it just that some people don’t want or can’t handle that much time with a baby or toddler? It just seems odd."
Anonymous
Post 10/21/2021 09:52     Subject: Why wouldn’t this person just SAHM for a year or two?
Maybe she has a grandparent watching her kid? I took 7 years off to be a sahm. Ex cheated on me, I was trapped with nothing. Wouldn’t recommend it to anyone.
Anonymous
Post 10/21/2021 09:52     Subject: Why wouldn’t this person just SAHM for a year or two?
I was a SAHM until DS was 2. RN so decent paying job but we felt SAHM was beneficial during those years. Anyways, i struggled. I hated having DH be the sole earner. I was lonely and found it hard to make mom friends who were around during the day. My anxiety was bad. I felt like a failure and was embarrassed so hid it from everyone.

I don't judge anyone for what they do.
Anonymous
Post 10/21/2021 09:51     Subject: Why wouldn’t this person just SAHM for a year or two?
I was an admin making 50k when my kids were little. I was young (25 with my first and 27 with my second) and continued to dump money into my 401k and my job offered much cheaper and more thorough insurance coverage than my husband's job. Yes, I was essentially "losing" money to work, but a decade later, I've gotten some lucky breaks by working my ass off for higher ups and now have my own admin - and make $150k a year. I would have loved to have stayed home with my babies, but knew this was the long-view right choice for our family.
Anonymous
Post 10/21/2021 09:51     Subject: Why wouldn’t this person just SAHM for a year or two?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Maybe she likes working? Maybe she enjoys being around her colleagues and clients? Maybe it's not all about the money? It's disgusting that you think the only reasons might be that she is stupid or can't handle being alone with her child.


I did not say this (at all) and if you read my posts you can see I’m trying to understand. I’m not judging her, I was just confused by this choice. I appreciate the PPs who mentioned things like work helping with PPD (I had PPD so I get that) and wanting to be around other adults. I can relate to those things and this makes a bit more sense to me now.

I definitely don’t think she’s stupid or can’t be alone with her kid. The opposite, actually. She’s a capable person and loving mom so I guess I expected her to either go back to her prior profession or stay home. I was thrown for a loop.


Maybe she really hated her prior profession. Or it was a job that required a lot of travel/long hours/stress.
Anonymous
Post 10/21/2021 09:50     Subject: Why wouldn’t this person just SAHM for a year or two?
Maybe her job provides health insurance for her family. Anyway, who cares. Presumably she has a reason.
Anonymous
Post 10/21/2021 09:50     Subject: Re:Why wouldn’t this person just SAHM for a year or two?
Anonymous wrote:Don't underestimate the potential lost value of compounding for retirement accounts either.

So many women don't factor in retirement savings into their calculations to stay home.


^^^ this too so many reasons!
Anonymous
Post 10/21/2021 09:50     Subject: Why wouldn’t this person just SAHM for a year or two?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don’t think there’s any job you can just automatically find any time and I respect that my admins have careers (I’m a lawyer so I mean my paralegals and legal assistants).


+1 admins have careers too, even if it's not up to your standards.

FWIW, my cousin was a lowly admin when she had her babies. She kept working even though it probably didn't bring in much more than childcare. Now she's the head of HR for a large company.


Winner winner chicken dinner.., this!

Why can’t you just stop working for two years really?
Anonymous
Post 10/21/2021 09:49     Subject: Why wouldn’t this person just SAHM for a year or two?
Anonymous wrote:Maybe she likes working? Maybe she enjoys being around her colleagues and clients? Maybe it's not all about the money? It's disgusting that you think the only reasons might be that she is stupid or can't handle being alone with her child.


I did not say this (at all) and if you read my posts you can see I’m trying to understand. I’m not judging her, I was just confused by this choice. I appreciate the PPs who mentioned things like work helping with PPD (I had PPD so I get that) and wanting to be around other adults. I can relate to those things and this makes a bit more sense to me now.

I definitely don’t think she’s stupid or can’t be alone with her kid. The opposite, actually. She’s a capable person and loving mom so I guess I expected her to either go back to her prior profession or stay home. I was thrown for a loop.
Anonymous
Post 10/21/2021 09:45     Subject: Re:Why wouldn’t this person just SAHM for a year or two?
Don't underestimate the potential lost value of compounding for retirement accounts either.

So many women don't factor in retirement savings into their calculations to stay home.
Anonymous
Post 10/21/2021 09:43     Subject: Why wouldn’t this person just SAHM for a year or two?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think it's problematic that you think admin people "don't have careers." It might not be up to your standards, but it's a career. How ridiculous.

Some people just have no interest in being a stay-at-home-mom. And that's ok. I do have a higher paying career, but even if I didn't...I'm almost certain that I'd still work. I enjoy having somewhere to be every day, interacting with my colleagues and being part of a team, having something that is for "me" outside of the home, feeling like I'm contributing financially to the partnership with my husband, knowing I have a cushion in terms of financial security...the list goes on and on.


OP here and I’m sorry if I gave this impression— I know many admins have careers. My own job/career could be considered admin as it’s back office, not client facing.

It’s just this particular person does not have a career oriented job. She had a career in another field, had a baby, and then took a very low paying clerical job at a retail-level organization and I’m confused as to why someone would do this.


With this added info, I'd guess that she probably just wants to be out of the house in a low-stress environment and spending all day with babies is not her cup of tea. And, they can afford for her to do what she wants.