My kid hangs out with friends after middle school most days but never sees friends on the weekends. I think for a lot of people it is family time.

Should they really have super busy social lives at this age? My kids have plenty of friends but they don’t spend their weekends hanging out with them. We are plenty busy with sports practices, events and family activities that it feels like we barely have any downtime. They are not complaining.

For now, the real question is if he seems unhappy or lonely and also if he has things he likes to do on his own.
Activities may or may not result in friendships. I was a lonely kid (although reading, piano, art, and other things kept me busy) who also had a lot of activities, which really did provide a kind of proxy for an actual social life. Sounds like you do not belong to a church or other faith organization, if so do they have kids' activities? Do you socialize with friends who have kids? Even if not friendships per se, I always enjoyed chances to hang out with other kids, even if it was cousins or visiting people with my parents. (I also was good at conversations with adults btw). And if there are chances to hang out with younger kids in the neighborhood, that's fine too.

The thing with sports is that the activity is focused on the sport rather than on doing things together--which scouts can certainly provide. Look at school activities--hobby clubs? drama?

When my kids were in middle school we had a pizza party every Friday night. Kids from the neighborhood would come over. I’d make frozen pizza and have bottles of water. We’d get a bag of Cheetos or Doritos and whichever kid was having the party would make cupcakes or brownies. We never had a shortage of kids who would come. If it weren’t for that, mine would have been stuck hanging around us all weekend too. It didn’t translate into good lasting friendships but they had lots of fun times and it wasn’t much work. I used the ES directory to call parents to invite the kids. It was pretty impromptu - tended to call mid afternoon on Friday.

Other people lie about how social and busy their kids are. People are VERY insecure in the DMV. They lie about everything.

Also, if your son is a bit quirky, suggest school plays or drama or town plays. Actors are quirky and welcoming.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe join the Scouts or a church based youth group.

yes to each of these. The Scouts are great because that is usually during the week and a youth group (or even religion classes) are usually on the weekends.

My son is the same age and rarely gets together with other kids. They do play video games online together so that's how they socialize for the most part.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Same for my daughter, OP. And yes, she does care. Weekends are long for her. For most people, it’s terribly lonely being alone. I’m surprised how many people are dismissing the importance of company and friendship.

I don't think we're dismissing it. It's just that I really feel like most kids are not hanging out these weekends. I know a lot of previously very social kids who don't have all sorts of weekend plans.

Where would they be hanging out and what would they be doing? These kids aren’t even old enough to drive yet?

What you do is you get dropped off around the corner from the movie theater by the Eastham’s on Wisconsin Ave, and then you maybe see a movie or you LIE about even seeing the movie and you just stand around under the concrete overhang, looking cool and waiting for your life to arrive.

Maybe join the Scouts or a church based youth group.

I’m pretty extroverted but if I had to go to middle school all week I’d need the whole weekend alone to decompress. Sports practice is good. Don’t make a problem where there isn’t one. It’s perfectly okay to go through a period without a lot of social weekend plans. If you never did, that doesn’t mean your son is the same.

Sounds familiar. When I asked a teacher about her impression of what was happening in middle school she replied that DS was “comfortably alone.”

OP, first of all, two practices in a weekend is a lot of interaction. Second, as others have noted, this is not at all abnormal for a kid of this age. Third, is he playing video games with his friends? My kid can sometimes have hours of interaction with this friends without leaving the computer. It seems weird to me, but its pretty normal for kids these days.

Agree that most of these kids' socializing is done over gaming these days.

OP, you can help by making sure he's not committing any middle school faux pas. Is he clean and washing his face? Clothes fit okay and are the "normal" brands? Middle school kids can be cruel so it's best not to give them anything to work with.

Lighten up OP. He will find his people, or he will be happy hanging solo.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Same for my daughter, OP. And yes, she does care. Weekends are long for her. For most people, it’s terribly lonely being alone. I’m surprised how many people are dismissing the importance of company and friendship.

I don't think we're dismissing it. It's just that I really feel like most kids are not hanging out these weekends. I know a lot of previously very social kids who don't have all sorts of weekend plans.

Where would they be hanging out and what would they be doing? These kids aren’t even old enough to drive yet?