Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, and I'm disappointed this deteriorated so quickly. Can we set aside the gender identity issue for now?

New question: do you have children (assuming you do since you're on this site)? Have you discussed your bi identity with them? How "out" are you among friends?

Me: yes I have kids (young tweens) and no, I haven't talked with them about it yet. I do plan to, though I wonder how DH will feel about it. He's generally very open, but I know it will make him feel weird. Deep down (or not so much), I think he likes to pretend my previous life as a lesbian is a thing of the distant past). Yes, I am out to friends, but I literally know NO ONE else who is out and bi. Our community (NW DC) is very very cis and hetero, with a handful of queer families.

May I ask something? I hope it doesn’t come out wrong. Assuming you’re in a monogamous relationship, why would you come out as bi to family and couple friends? Unless you were speaking of a specific prior relationship, which would be different. I totally understand wanting to be seen and known for your whole self, but couldn’t you keep that between yourself and your women friends?

I’m not the person you quoted, but I’m another pp who spoke about wanting to be out more in my daily life. For me, it’s just about being more authentically who I am - people assume I am straight, I am not, so it would be nice to find opportunities to make that clearer to those in my life (and also set an example for my children that this is nothing to hide.

Anonymous wrote:OP here, and I'm disappointed this deteriorated so quickly. Can we set aside the gender identity issue for now?

New question: do you have children (assuming you do since you're on this site)? Have you discussed your bi identity with them? How "out" are you among friends?

Me: yes I have kids (young tweens) and no, I haven't talked with them about it yet. I do plan to, though I wonder how DH will feel about it. He's generally very open, but I know it will make him feel weird. Deep down (or not so much), I think he likes to pretend my previous life as a lesbian is a thing of the distant past). Yes, I am out to friends, but I literally know NO ONE else who is out and bi. Our community (NW DC) is very very cis and hetero, with a handful of queer families.

May I ask something? I hope it doesn’t come out wrong. Assuming you’re in a monogamous relationship, why would you come out as bi to family and couple friends? Unless you were speaking of a specific prior relationship, which would be different. I totally understand wanting to be seen and known for your whole self, but couldn’t you keep that between yourself and your women friends?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m married to a man and we have two kids. I knew I was bi before I got married and told him while we were dating that I found women attractive. Now that I’m in my late 40s I am almost exclusively attracted to women. I really wish I would have fully come out as bi to him so I could share with him what I’m going through. I love my family, so the thought of leaving destroys me, but sometimes I think I can’t fake this anymore. Knowing how hard the lesbian community is on bi women I helps me stay. I wouldn’t want to leave my marriage and family to be alone the rest of my life.

I am wondering if I qualify as "bi" because I told DH about my strong attraction to women but never had a relationship with or even kissed one. I live in a country where meeting others like me is virtually impossible unless you go online. I cannot climax unless I visualize a woman.

I am the same way but I think its purely a sexual attraction. When I was single I met a few women online that never progressed into anything. Even meeting. I just couldn't connect as much thinking about actually dating and building a relationship. It's hard to explain. I ended up marrying a man and we have a good sex life but I still fantasize about women more than men.

I’m a PP who identifies as a lesbian now.
I went on about 2 dozen dates before I met a woman I connected with in a way where I was able to see a relationship (including sexual) with her.
But once we connected, it was intense.
I don’t think “not connecting” with a few people you met online means much, one way or another.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m married to a man and we have two kids. I knew I was bi before I got married and told him while we were dating that I found women attractive. Now that I’m in my late 40s I am almost exclusively attracted to women. I really wish I would have fully come out as bi to him so I could share with him what I’m going through. I love my family, so the thought of leaving destroys me, but sometimes I think I can’t fake this anymore. Knowing how hard the lesbian community is on bi women I helps me stay. I wouldn’t want to leave my marriage and family to be alone the rest of my life.

I am wondering if I qualify as "bi" because I told DH about my strong attraction to women but never had a relationship with or even kissed one. I live in a country where meeting others like me is virtually impossible unless you go online. I cannot climax unless I visualize a woman.

I am the same way but I think its purely a sexual attraction. When I was single I met a few women online that never progressed into anything. Even meeting. I just couldn't connect as much thinking about actually dating and building a relationship. It's hard to explain. I ended up marrying a man and we have a good sex life but I still fantasize about women more than men.

Anonymous wrote:I’m married to a man and we have two kids. I knew I was bi before I got married and told him while we were dating that I found women attractive. Now that I’m in my late 40s I am almost exclusively attracted to women. I really wish I would have fully come out as bi to him so I could share with him what I’m going through. I love my family, so the thought of leaving destroys me, but sometimes I think I can’t fake this anymore. Knowing how hard the lesbian community is on bi women I helps me stay. I wouldn’t want to leave my marriage and family to be alone the rest of my life.

I am wondering if I qualify as "bi" because I told DH about my strong attraction to women but never had a relationship with or even kissed one. I live in a country where meeting others like me is virtually impossible unless you go online. I cannot climax unless I visualize a woman.

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is there some kind of meetup or group for bi women married to men? I've googled a bit but haven't seen one. I think there are a lot of us out there. [/quote]

I would be interested in this as well. Like a Reddit sub or Discord group even. It gets hard being the lonely only in your social group.[/quote]

+2. Would be cool to have a community like this. [/quote]

+3 Happily married to a man, but I enjoy occasional physical connections with women. Like most on this site, my days are filled with kids and my job, so investing in long term relationships and dating is a time consuming luxury I don't have. Dating apps are also not a great option because a lot of us prefer to keep our bi-sexuality private and the facade of straightness intact. A meet-up group for like-minded professional working moms is long overdue.

I’m bi, married to a man, and have a young child. I don’t regret marrying a man because he is an awesome partner for me. That being said, if anything were to ever happen I would probably only be with women in the future because I’ve become more inclined in that direction over the years. However, I do regret not being more out in my daily life. My husband and I have been together for 12 years and most people who know us don’t know that I am bi. Having a child has made me more interested in being out in my life because I wouldn’t ever want my child to think it’s something to hide. Been thinking a lot lately about opportunities to come out organically in various relationships and contexts.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there some kind of meetup or group for bi women married to men? I've googled a bit but haven't seen one. I think there are a lot of us out there.

I would be interested in this as well. Like a Reddit sub or Discord group even. It gets hard being the lonely only in your social group.

+2. Would be cool to have a community like this.

Anonymous wrote:Is there some kind of meetup or group for bi women married to men? I've googled a bit but haven't seen one. I think there are a lot of us out there.

I would be interested in this as well. Like a Reddit sub or Discord group even. It gets hard being the lonely only in your social group.

Hmmm…I don’t know if it’s a bi thing or that I like the idea of that which I have not experienced. I am happily married and would never want to explode that but I am also hard core attracted to one specific person who happens to be female and have been for years. I definitely enjoy men and always have, and the few chances I’ve had to swing the other way, I’ve chickened out on. So, happily married but have a fun fantasy life too that I’ve never acted on and likely never will.

Anonymous wrote:10:29--LOTS of bi women end up with women later in life after being married to a man. I almost exclusively dated women before I met DH, and I never experienced the lesbian community being hard on bi women. Honestly, I think that is overhyped as a thing.

yep, same

Anonymous wrote:OP here, and I'm disappointed this deteriorated so quickly. Can we set aside the gender identity issue for now?

New question: do you have children (assuming you do since you're on this site)? Have you discussed your bi identity with them? How "out" are you among friends?

Me: yes I have kids (young tweens) and no, I haven't talked with them about it yet. I do plan to, though I wonder how DH will feel about it. He's generally very open, but I know it will make him feel weird. Deep down (or not so much), I think he likes to pretend my previous life as a lesbian is a thing of the distant past). Yes, I am out to friends, but I literally know NO ONE else who is out and bi. Our community (NW DC) is very very cis and hetero, with a handful of queer families.

I never really identified as bi (if it’s a spectrum I’d say I’m like 85% attracted to men and 15% women) and I’ve never been with a woman or even kissed a woman. But recently I’ve been thinking about experimenting more and that includes the possibility of women. I don’t really know how to start… take a trip and go to a lesbian bar and say hey, I feel like making out. ????

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a bisexual woman happily married to a man who accepts my bisexuality. I am also polyamorous and have a lovely girlfriend.

Sure, I am open to my friends. It's not the business of my work. Eventually I will introduce my girlfriend to my extended family if the relationship progresses.

My child is young. Right now we are reading "Its not the stork" and "All Families are Different". He knows that some families have two dads or two moms. Obviously at some point it will become obvious that some people structure their domestic lives non-monogamously.

My message as he reaches adulthood is that I want him to be happy in his personal/domestic life, with a man or a woman, with one partner or more. Whatever he decides is right for him. Love is respect.

Would you have been ok marrying a bisexual man and him having a boyfriend?

Absolutely.

+1. I’m actually attracted to that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a bisexual woman happily married to a man who accepts my bisexuality. I am also polyamorous and have a lovely girlfriend.

Sure, I am open to my friends. It's not the business of my work. Eventually I will introduce my girlfriend to my extended family if the relationship progresses.

My child is young. Right now we are reading "Its not the stork" and "All Families are Different". He knows that some families have two dads or two moms. Obviously at some point it will become obvious that some people structure their domestic lives non-monogamously.

My message as he reaches adulthood is that I want him to be happy in his personal/domestic life, with a man or a woman, with one partner or more. Whatever he decides is right for him. Love is respect.

Would you have been ok marrying a bisexual man and him having a boyfriend?

Absolutely.

Good for you! Where were you when I was single?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a bisexual woman happily married to a man who accepts my bisexuality. I am also polyamorous and have a lovely girlfriend.

Sure, I am open to my friends. It's not the business of my work. Eventually I will introduce my girlfriend to my extended family if the relationship progresses.

My child is young. Right now we are reading "Its not the stork" and "All Families are Different". He knows that some families have two dads or two moms. Obviously at some point it will become obvious that some people structure their domestic lives non-monogamously.

My message as he reaches adulthood is that I want him to be happy in his personal/domestic life, with a man or a woman, with one partner or more. Whatever he decides is right for him. Love is respect.

Would you have been ok marrying a bisexual man and him having a boyfriend?

Absolutely.