Traditionally, everyone everywhere would've said funerals. I lived in this area for years and I still can't get over how strange DCUMers are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your best friend's wedding who you are MOH in or your grandma's funeral? Which one should you attend if both are on the same day same time? I didn't really know my grandma real well or grow up close to her I saw her about once a year around Christmas.

I feel like I'm leaning towards going to my best friend's wedding since I made the commitment to her to be the MOH.

I also feel like I can say goodbye to my grandma in my own way it doesn't necessarily have to involve a funeral.

Ughh I hate this help!

Funerals trump weddings. What is wrong you!

Don't be mean. It depends on each situation. OP can go to the visitation, and wasn't close to her grandmother. She is the MOH for the wedding. That seems to be the deciding factor.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your best friend's wedding who you are MOH in or your grandma's funeral? Which one should you attend if both are on the same day same time? I didn't really know my grandma real well or grow up close to her I saw her about once a year around Christmas.

I feel like I'm leaning towards going to my best friend's wedding since I made the commitment to her to be the MOH.

I also feel like I can say goodbye to my grandma in my own way it doesn't necessarily have to involve a funeral.

Ughh I hate this help!

Funerals trump weddings. What is wrong you!

Please don't be rude. I wasn't sure and I'm trying to make the best decision because I made a commitment and this is my best friend in the entire world and I have a big and important role in the wedding but at the same time I want to attend the funeral to support my grieving family even though I wasn't particularly close to my grandma.

I'm leaning towards the wedding though. I have been agonizing over this decision though as it certainly hasn't been an easy one and I don't wanna disappoint no body. But being that the majority of answers here are to attend the wedding and the focus should be on the living and not the dead I'm going to do that

I'm going to send a really nice bouquet of flowers to the funeral home and go to the viewing the day before. I feel that I'm honoring both commitments the best I can by going this route.

I think you have the right plan in place.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your best friend's wedding who you are MOH in or your grandma's funeral? Which one should you attend if both are on the same day same time? I didn't really know my grandma real well or grow up close to her I saw her about once a year around Christmas.

I feel like I'm leaning towards going to my best friend's wedding since I made the commitment to her to be the MOH.

I also feel like I can say goodbye to my grandma in my own way it doesn't necessarily have to involve a funeral.

Ughh I hate this help!

Funerals trump weddings. What is wrong you!

Please don't be rude. I wasn't sure and I'm trying to make the best decision because I made a commitment and this is my best friend in the entire world and I have a big and important role in the wedding but at the same time I want to attend the funeral to support my grieving family even though I wasn't particularly close to my grandma.

I'm leaning towards the wedding though. I have been agonizing over this decision though as it certainly hasn't been an easy one and I don't wanna disappoint no body. But being that the majority of answers here are to attend the wedding and the focus should be on the living and not the dead I'm going to do that

I'm going to send a really nice bouquet of flowers to the funeral home and go to the viewing the day before. I feel that I'm honoring both commitments the best I can by going this route.

Anonymous wrote:Your best friend's wedding who you are MOH in or your grandma's funeral? Which one should you attend if both are on the same day same time? I didn't really know my grandma real well or grow up close to her I saw her about once a year around Christmas.

I feel like I'm leaning towards going to my best friend's wedding since I made the commitment to her to be the MOH.

I also feel like I can say goodbye to my grandma in my own way it doesn't necessarily have to involve a funeral.

Ughh I hate this help!

Funerals trump weddings. What is wrong you!

Anonymous wrote:Wedding. If you had truly been in Grandma's inner circle you would have been included in "what date is possible?" Though this is the kind of a thing you need to speak-up about very early in the process. And then others either take your situation into consideration or not.

+1 You weren't important enough to plan around so would go to the wedding. If it is possible with travel, I would skip the rehearsal dinner and attend the wake/viewing the night before (if your family is having one).

Wedding. If you had truly been in Grandma's inner circle you would have been included in "what date is possible?" Though this is the kind of a thing you need to speak-up about very early in the process. And then others either take your situation into consideration or not.

OP- it would depend on my parent and what their needs are.

My mom would have told me to go to the wedding. My BF has been a part
of my life like a sister.

My BF would have told me to go to the funeral. That I needed to be there for my parent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the parent whose mother died will be in attendance, the funeral.

NP. In this case though her parent would have her other children, spouse, siblings, aunts, uncles and other family members to support them so one person's presence or lack thereof would not be missed or noticed.

Where as the friend is the MOH which is pretty much the biggest honor given in the wedding and her absence would be noticeable.

OP can be with the family before and after the funeral. Her best friend has one wedding day

Umm no that's terrible logic. Your parent most definitely trumps a friend yes even your best friend.

Anonymous wrote:If the parent whose mother died will be in attendance, the funeral.

NP. In this case though her parent would have her other children, spouse, siblings, aunts, uncles and other family members to support them so one person's presence or lack thereof would not be missed or noticed.

Where as the friend is the MOH which is pretty much the biggest honor given in the wedding and her absence would be noticeable.

OP can be with the family before and after the funeral. Her best friend has one wedding day

Wedding. But. Make a plan to connect with family members at some time and in some way, to grieve for and remember your grandmother. Grieving is personal and you can grieve your grandmother by yourself, but it's also a process that a family goes through.

If the parent whose mother died will be in attendance, the funeral.

Wedding

If the drive is manageable, could you attend the wake/viewing the day before (if there is one)?

Wedding