Your son’s well being must be #1 and she sounds like someone who would not really care about that. Either maintain the status quo or move on and find someone who would love your son.

The relationship is the relationship. Whatever you're feeling now, Op doesn't change with "marriage"

Don't get married. Date. Don't live together. See each other, or not. Eventually if you can develop a better relationship with someone else, you have that path.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why you would even consider getting married in this situation. Don’t.

Regular sex. Security. The feeling of being loved.

I don’t understand why you would even consider getting married in this situation. Don’t.

If she feels your distance do both of you a favor and just tell her it’s not working out. Break ups are never easy so you need to just get it over with. Both of you will be alright.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like a subtle test to see if you’re willing to pick her over your child. Continue to date, focus on your child and make it clear your son is your priority. She needs to grow up and realize your child is not going anywhere and you are not willing to compromise your relationship with your child for her. If she can’t understand your position, then cut her loose.

I can see why she is divorced.

OP Here. This weekend we spend together without my son and just her daughter. I just couldn't even fake interest. I think she has a feeling I'm losing interest, but I don't know how to end it. I feel bad, but need to push to just break it off.

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like a subtle test to see if you’re willing to pick her over your child. Continue to date, focus on your child and make it clear your son is your priority. She needs to grow up and realize your child is not going anywhere and you are not willing to compromise your relationship with your child for her. If she can’t understand your position, then cut her loose.

I can see why she is divorced.

Anonymous wrote:It's so easy to end it, OP. Just talk to your son. I'm sure he's picking up things better than you. He will tell you what he thinks about your girlfriend.

If he was like me when I was a kid he wouldn’t be honest because he doesn’t want to be the cause of his dad’s unhappiness. I had issues yes but this is a common one!

It's so easy to end it, OP. Just talk to your son. I'm sure he's picking up things better than you. He will tell you what he thinks about your girlfriend.

Sounds like a subtle test to see if you’re willing to pick her over your child. Continue to date, focus on your child and make it clear your son is your priority. She needs to grow up and realize your child is not going anywhere and you are not willing to compromise your relationship with your child for her. If she can’t understand your position, then cut her loose.

Dude, don’t propose. End it. Date around and be happy. Spend as much time with your kid as possible and don’t introduce her to anyone you’re dating. It’s just not worth it.

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Anonymous wrote:Is her daughter an only child? Is your son?

Yes to both.

Do you want to have more children?

No

Then the question remains, why do you have to blend lives and get married? Can’t you just stay in your house and she in hers? When it’s your time with your son you can focus on him and minimize their time together. Even under the best of circumstances, blended families are a nightmare, it’s super hard. Why not just enjoy each other’s companionship and leave it at that?

No. He needs to let this one go period. And next time op don't drag it out, the first time your girlfriend shows signs of animosity towards your son end it

I kind of agree but I’ve seen it go to hell even when people were very kind and welcoming before blending families. I think it’s human nature to protect your own child. These conflicts are going to get bigger after getting married and moving in together. You guys are going to be navigating big expenses like college around the same time too. That’s why I suggested keeping things separate and just dating the current woman.

So she's making it clear her child gets preferential treatment over your child, and she gets to criticize your parenting (and your child)?

She's going to be the evil stepmother. I would break off the relationship.

These are significant warning signs, and she is showing you where her priorities are. Honest question: why do you want to marry her?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is her daughter an only child? Is your son?

Yes to both.

Do you want to have more children?

No

Then the question remains, why do you have to blend lives and get married? Can’t you just stay in your house and she in hers? When it’s your time with your son you can focus on him and minimize their time together. Even under the best of circumstances, blended families are a nightmare, it’s super hard. Why not just enjoy each other’s companionship and leave it at that?

No. He needs to let this one go period. And next time op don't drag it out, the first time your girlfriend shows signs of animosity towards your son end it