Anytime an adult women is saying something akin to everybody’s doing it, she should step back and ask herself what kind of culture she’s contributing to.

+1 exactly

It wasn’t my child or my post but someone posted an actual dress that their teen had worn and liked and at least one poster said it was awful and looked like what a little girl spiel wear. It was a spaghetti strap mini dress—exactly what many girls wore to prom and homecoming in the 80s and 90s and a perfectly cute dress for a girl that didn’t want to worry about her butt cheeks showing if she bent over to pick something up or moved around a lot dancing. So ridiculous that we pigeon hole teen girls into these very narrow range of choices (that are also not very practical or comfortable). Anytime an adult women is saying something akin to everybody’s doing it, she should step back and ask herself what kind of culture she’s contributing to. I’m hoping for a future in which the only “everybody does….” Is filled in with “be kind and accepting.”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just stopped reading when I saw the poster calling a CHILD??? a "slut". I thought it was two troll posters purposely trying to instigate to alleviate boredom and drive up ad revenue to this site. Please reply with the links and/or search terms and I too will "report" any posts like this.

Just as bad are the posters who said that another girl’s choice to wear a slightly longer mini was an “old lady” dress and that he child would rather stay home than be seen in such a horror. Can’t we recognize that even among HS girls (who range from 14 to 19 in age) there is going to be diversity of taste and comfort? All these women who insist that anyone who doesn’t wear the super-shirt super tight stuff is an old lady prude are just as bad as the women calling the girls in the short skirts names. The whole thing makes me want to take my teen daughter and move into a hobbit hole to avoid it all.

+1

-1000 I am the one who posted the (fashion fails) burqa robe and the frilly pantsuit which was obviously an alternative choice and was commented on as such. I in no way called anyone a sl*t, even though I was correctly called a "mother of the bride" fashion miss. It was from a store that sells mostly homecoming, quince, and prom dresses, but the "pants" options were all targeted as mother of the bride. The OP said her DD didn't want a dress, with a touch of feminity and it was one of a handful of choices and conveyed my diversity of options to get a better idea of the OP's DD's taste. For the robe, I thought maybe the OP was Muslim or international or something. I was sincere about alternative attire having myself worn dirndl, kimonos, saris, etc. to Ocktoberfest, onsens, festivals, etc. While I didn't call your links "old lady" or "horror", the styles picked out were extremely similar to what my 55+ boss had me wear to WORK. There is a huge difference between assessing an OUTFIT as more apropos for an older lady and calling a HUMAN CHILD a misogynist, sexist, outdated name. -Open to diverse/winter fashions and doesn't engage in petty, immoral, bullying towards children in retaliation/insecurity/cruelty to feel better about myself even after a "Fashion fail".

Anonymous wrote:Let me break out my violin and play a sad song....

+1

Anonymous wrote:8 yo are not tweens no matter how badly they behave

My 8 yr old has started puberty. Seems like a decent enough measure of who is a “tween.”

Eh. The elementary forum spans an equally large period of development.

I have kids in high school and middle school, and appreciate everyone's perspectives. My teen has special needs, and unless I explain that, of course you'd all think he's dreadfully dependent on us and we're causing him major harm by not letting him "make his own mistakes" or whatever nonsense. So I post on the Special Needs forum for certain things

Regarding dress, my own personal opinion is that slim people can get away with wearing way more revealing things than curvy people...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just stopped reading when I saw the poster calling a CHILD??? a "slut". I thought it was two troll posters purposely trying to instigate to alleviate boredom and drive up ad revenue to this site. Please reply with the links and/or search terms and I too will "report" any posts like this.

Just as bad are the posters who said that another girl’s choice to wear a slightly longer mini was an “old lady” dress and that he child would rather stay home than be seen in such a horror. Can’t we recognize that even among HS girls (who range from 14 to 19 in age) there is going to be diversity of taste and comfort? All these women who insist that anyone who doesn’t wear the super-shirt super tight stuff is an old lady prude are just as bad as the women calling the girls in the short skirts names. The whole thing makes me want to take my teen daughter and move into a hobbit hole to avoid it all.

+1

Anonymous wrote:I just stopped reading when I saw the poster calling a CHILD??? a "slut". I thought it was two troll posters purposely trying to instigate to alleviate boredom and drive up ad revenue to this site. Please reply with the links and/or search terms and I too will "report" any posts like this.

Just as bad are the posters who said that another girl’s choice to wear a slightly longer mini was an “old lady” dress and that he child would rather stay home than be seen in such a horror. Can’t we recognize that even among HS girls (who range from 14 to 19 in age) there is going to be diversity of taste and comfort? All these women who insist that anyone who doesn’t wear the super-shirt super tight stuff is an old lady prude are just as bad as the women calling the girls in the short skirts names. The whole thing makes me want to take my teen daughter and move into a hobbit hole to avoid it all.

I just stopped reading when I saw the poster calling a CHILD??? a "slut". I thought it was two troll posters purposely trying to instigate to alleviate boredom and drive up ad revenue to this site. Please reply with the links and/or search terms and I too will "report" any posts like this.

I wish there were two forums as well- MS and HS.

Anonymous wrote:People see the topic from Recent Topics and chime in regardless. Splitting the board isn’t going to solve anything. I don’t think the issue is parents of Tweens chiming in on your issues. It’s just people chiming in on your issues. Like happens on every board.

+1

People see the topic from Recent Topics and chime in regardless. Splitting the board isn’t going to solve anything. I don’t think the issue is parents of Tweens chiming in on your issues. It’s just people chiming in on your issues. Like happens on every board.

Things change on a dime and in ways you could never anticipate.

8 yo are not tweens no matter how badly they behave

Anonymous wrote:There is a HUGE difference between kids in high school and middle school. I think that most parents who have freshman this year can attest to this. I am sick of parents of eleven year olds chiming in about what teenagers wear and how they behave. It does not matter if the teen goes to private school, public school, is rich, middle class or poor, high school students are (rightfully) trying to gain freedom from their parents and are hopefully attempting to navigate independently. Yes there will be some hiccups along the way, they may wear things you consider inappropriate, may drink at a party or sneak out; it does not make you a bad parents or your child "low class". You should not have to call the police on your kid (as some are saying in another post) or scare your daughters into thinking they will be raped on any street corner if they wear short shorts.

You have a certain vision in your head about what the high school years will bring but I dont think many people are prepared for how quickly things change. Look out for other kids, help your friends and STOP JUDGING.

I’ve always thought that and never thought it made sense to combine “tweens” with teens. Some parents have 7 or 8 year old “tweens”. Very cringey and annoying. Sorry, but just because your 8 year old has a bad attitude and disrespects you doesn’t mean they have anything in common with my kid who is twice their age.