I think you need to MYOB.

Why would you wonder about this? If it works for them it works. I also know several instances in which women support men working on non-lucrative passion projects, or going to medical school, and it doesn’t raise this level of judgement even though the men aren’t bringing in any money...

Anonymous wrote:Wonder what? Why is it an issue, especially if he earns significantly more?

Well he obviously does if she makes $0

Anonymous wrote:How do you feel about it when people retire early then? What’s so morally wrong about not working? As long as no one needs the money I don’t see the problem.

I agree. There is enough stress in the world being put upon everyone. Why add more if you don’t want to or financially have to?

My BIL was in this situation, but they eventually had kids.
The main reason for it is that he moved for work every 4 years to a different country. I am sure wife could have worked if she wanted to, but didn’t. They almost divorced because of this lifestyle (I.e. she felt her life was all about him, he was bored of her and had an affair). They stayed together and now have 2 kids. She still does not work and has a FT nanny/housekeeper. I don’t know what she does all day, but I am not jealous of her or their marriage.

DW here and I wouldn't do it myself because I both like working and making my own money (the latter is not an issue where a wife has family money, but I do not) but why would I mind if someone else wants to do it? Only person who needs to be on board is the husband; it's none of my business and I don't judge.

This said, I've only met one non-elderly woman who was in this situation. I worked with her husband. I didn't know her well enough to know if she was stay at home just for fun or because of health issues or some other reason. She seemed pretty nice and the marriage appeared happy to an outsider at least.

Why is there this idea that everyone needs to work? Let's have a Universal Basic Income and see how creative people become. and healthy. I bet it would be a second renaissance.

I definitely judge women who do this. I have relatives in this situation (the husband has kids from a previous marriage but they were grown when he remarried) and they are miserable, largely bc the wife has too much time on her hands.

My DHs ex-wife was like this. He made six figures right out of grad school so I think the assumption always was that she would stay home. He ended up divorcing her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s common in other countries. As long as it works for the couple, why do you care?

I’m just curious how they can do it without one side feeling resentful.

I know many couples like this. They met when they were students, often in a professional graduate program. Both worked and when the kids started coming, they decided to have a stay-at-home parent to manage the home front. All of them are still married and happily looking forward their golden years.

We have a lot of sex, travel a lot, spend months at a time in other countries and enjoy life.

This was the life of the second wife of one of our partners. She volunteered, arranged for the construction and decorating of their new mansion and vacation home, spent time with him and his children, accompanied him on trips, etc. She seemed busy to me! Now they have a brand new baby. Why not if one of you has a ton of money?

I knew someone like this once, but they were young and she and her husband had just moved for her husband's job so I assumed she'd find something eventually. I know she did a lot of volunteer work and some tutoring (not sure how much, really none of my business). She eventually had a child and over time I realized she had a lot of health problems that weren't super obvious but really challenging. You never know all of the reasons people do what they do.

Just generally that the wife must have a cushy life!

How do you feel about it when people retire early then? What’s so morally wrong about not working? As long as no one needs the money I don’t see the problem.