Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand. You’re giving her advice. She doesn’t take the advice. But she’s also mad you aren’t giving her advice?

OP here. She asked for my advice, I told her what my dad said about it being a waste of money, and then she decided to do it anyway. She will ask my advice on colors, etc., and then get annoyed when I tell her I like something different. When I told her I’m not giving her anymore advice, she got mad and said I’m unsupportive.

For the first example of your dad saying something was a waste of money... You can't really fault her for coming to her own conclusion. You and your dad were just PART of her decision making process. She is still free to make her own decisions. Getting huffy about that makes you seem arrogant.

As for your second example of her getting annoyed because you liked something different, what do you mean?

Saying you won't give her advice anymore can come off as "oh poor me, nobody listens to me, I guess I must be worthless." It's obnoxious.

OP here. My dad is trying to save her money. She wants to do two nice bathrooms but she will not the get the money back when she sells. She plans to fully rip one out and put in a standing bathtub and separate shower. For a condo in the $300k range, she will not get her money back. There is a thing as making designs too nice for the price. She has decided to do it anyway even though my dad told her she is not likely to get her money back.

She will ask about samples and I tell her all to pick the cheaper option because paying top price won’t get her money back. She gets mad and goes with the other one.

I don’t care what she does. Its her property. I do get annoyed when she asks for my advice and then gets mad when I don’t agree with her. I told her last time she asked that I’m not giving anymore advice because she gets mad at me. She told me I was being unsupportive.

She has been complaining about all the work she had to do and how hard the process it is. When I try to give her advice, she gets mad.

I’m just tired of it. She’s putting way too much into a condo that she will never get her money back. She needs to stop complaining because it’s her choice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You better get on the same page about money before you take your relationship to the next level.

Do you always listen to your Dad with financial decisions?

OP here. No. My dad doesn’t give me much financial advice except for when I was young. She asked him about remodeling because he used to do construction as a side business. She wants to spend about $20k with two bath remodels and he told her not to do it. She is look at expensive stuff like marble and floating tubs for a condo in the $300k range. She will be wasting her money.

You seem really fixated on what she does with HER money.
She’s allowed to listen to you and decide that’s not what she’s going to do with HER money.
You bringing up your Dad doesn’t make you correct. It’s HER money and she’s allowed to value what she wants to.
It’s YOUR OPINION that she’s wasting her money and she doesn’t have do what you or your Dad think is “correct”.

Looking at your writing and fixation, it seems to me that you feel she volunteered to “submit” to you by agreeing to move in with you and thus you feel entitled to tell her how to spend her money. If any part of this is true, break up. If your thinking this way, I would tell my own daughter to RUN as this line of thinking allows men to be ok abusing women.

OP here. None of this is true. I’m not looking for her to “ submit” to me. I like that she is a strong woman. My issue is with her complaining to me everyday about it but won’t take any advice. When I do offer or she asks for advice, she never takes it. If she doesn’t want any advice, she needs to stop complaining about it. She complains how much work and money she is spending. I’m just tired of hearing about it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You better get on the same page about money before you take your relationship to the next level.

Do you always listen to your Dad with financial decisions?

OP here. No. My dad doesn’t give me much financial advice except for when I was young. She asked him about remodeling because he used to do construction as a side business. She wants to spend about $20k with two bath remodels and he told her not to do it. She is look at expensive stuff like marble and floating tubs for a condo in the $300k range. She will be wasting her money.

You seem really fixated on what she does with HER money.
She’s allowed to listen to you and decide that’s not what she’s going to do with HER money.
You bringing up your Dad doesn’t make you correct. It’s HER money and she’s allowed to value what she wants to.
It’s YOUR OPINION that she’s wasting her money and she doesn’t have do what you or your Dad think is “correct”.

Looking at your writing and fixation, it seems to me that you feel she volunteered to “submit” to you by agreeing to move in with you and thus you feel entitled to tell her how to spend her money. If any part of this is true, break up. If your thinking this way, I would tell my own daughter to RUN as this line of thinking allows men to be ok abusing women.

Anonymous wrote:
She sounds like a drama queen to be honest and very unrealistic. You shouldn’t be fighting about something like this. Imagine when it’s both of your money involved?

+1

Tell her you’ve changed your mind about having her move in with you. You need to think more carefully about whether she’s really “the one” for you. She doesn’t seem to respect you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You better get on the same page about money before you take your relationship to the next level.

Do you always listen to your Dad with financial decisions?

OP here. No. My dad doesn’t give me much financial advice except for when I was young. She asked him about remodeling because he used to do construction as a side business. She wants to spend about $20k with two bath remodels and he told her not to do it. She is look at expensive stuff like marble and floating tubs for a condo in the $300k range. She will be wasting her money.

Anonymous wrote:You better get on the same page about money before you take your relationship to the next level.

Do you always listen to your Dad with financial decisions?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand. You’re giving her advice. She doesn’t take the advice. But she’s also mad you aren’t giving her advice?

OP here. She asked for my advice, I told her what my dad said about it being a waste of money, and then she decided to do it anyway. She will ask my advice on colors, etc., and then get annoyed when I tell her I like something different. When I told her I’m not giving her anymore advice, she got mad and said I’m unsupportive.

For the first example of your dad saying something was a waste of money... You can't really fault her for coming to her own conclusion. You and your dad were just PART of her decision making process. She is still free to make her own decisions. Getting huffy about that makes you seem arrogant.

As for your second example of her getting annoyed because you liked something different, what do you mean?

Saying you won't give her advice anymore can come off as "oh poor me, nobody listens to me, I guess I must be worthless." It's obnoxious.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand. You’re giving her advice. She doesn’t take the advice. But she’s also mad you aren’t giving her advice?

OP here. She asked for my advice, I told her what my dad said about it being a waste of money, and then she decided to do it anyway. She will ask my advice on colors, etc., and then get annoyed when I tell her I like something different. When I told her I’m not giving her anymore advice, she got mad and said I’m unsupportive.

For the first example of your dad saying something was a waste of money... You can't really fault her for coming to her own conclusion. You and your dad were just PART of her decision making process. She is still free to make her own decisions. Getting huffy about that makes you seem arrogant.

As for your second example of her getting annoyed because you liked something different, what do you mean?

Saying you won't give her advice anymore can come off as "oh poor me, nobody listens to me, I guess I must be worthless." It's obnoxious.

OP here. My dad is trying to save her money. She wants to do two nice bathrooms but she will not the get the money back when she sells. She plans to fully rip one out and put in a standing bathtub and separate shower. For a condo in the $300k range, she will not get her money back. There is a thing as making designs too nice for the price. She has decided to do it anyway even though my dad told her she is not likely to get her money back.

She will ask about samples and I tell her all to pick the cheaper option because paying top price won’t get her money back. She gets mad and goes with the other one.

I don’t care what she does. Its her property. I do get annoyed when she asks for my advice and then gets mad when I don’t agree with her. I told her last time she asked that I’m not giving anymore advice because she gets mad at me. She told me I was being unsupportive.

She has been complaining about all the work she had to do and how hard the process it is. When I try to give her advice, she gets mad.

I’m just tired of it. She’s putting way too much into a condo that she will never get her money back. She needs to stop complaining because it’s her choice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand. You’re giving her advice. She doesn’t take the advice. But she’s also mad you aren’t giving her advice?

OP here. She asked for my advice, I told her what my dad said about it being a waste of money, and then she decided to do it anyway. She will ask my advice on colors, etc., and then get annoyed when I tell her I like something different. When I told her I’m not giving her anymore advice, she got mad and said I’m unsupportive.

For the first example of your dad saying something was a waste of money... You can't really fault her for coming to her own conclusion. You and your dad were just PART of her decision making process. She is still free to make her own decisions. Getting huffy about that makes you seem arrogant.

As for your second example of her getting annoyed because you liked something different, what do you mean?

Saying you won't give her advice anymore can come off as "oh poor me, nobody listens to me, I guess I must be worthless." It's obnoxious.

OP here. My dad is trying to save her money. She wants to do two nice bathrooms but she will not the get the money back when she sells. She plans to fully rip one out and put in a standing bathtub and separate shower. For a condo in the $300k range, she will not get her money back. There is a thing as making designs too nice for the price. She has decided to do it anyway even though my dad told her she is not likely to get her money back.

She will ask about samples and I tell her all to pick the cheaper option because paying top price won’t get her money back. She gets mad and goes with the other one.

I don’t care what she does. Its her property. I do get annoyed when she asks for my advice and then gets mad when I don’t agree with her. I told her last time she asked that I’m not giving anymore advice because she gets mad at me. She told me I was being unsupportive.

She has been complaining about all the work she had to do and how hard the process it is. When I try to give her advice, she gets mad.

I’m just tired of it. She’s putting way too much into a condo that she will never get her money back. She needs to stop complaining because it’s her choice.

Anonymous wrote:So are you giving her advice or instructions?