OP, I think resetting your goals might be helpful. At 5’4”, 117 is a pretty low goal. That would be REALLY hard to maintain, as a middle aged (and older) mother. Even if you starve yourself there (which you would need to do), you will need to be in indefinite deprivation to stay there long term. Focus on a smaller more attainable, easier to maintain goal. Maybe 125?

Anonymous wrote:What works well for me is 3 good meals a day. They can be a pretty good range of anything I want (not 6 pizzas of course but not a salad with grilled chicken no dressing either) but absolutely nothing till the next meal. I aim for 5+ hours between meals. There is tons of differing nutrition info out there but I reads something about insulin response and meal spacing that made sense to me. I like being able to eat good meals with my family and not restrict. No rice for Mommy. No ice cream for Mommy.

Yes, when I saw Dr. Anchors years ago, no snacking was one of his 10 rules. So, yes, you can have the chips or the glass of wine or the ice cream, but they had to be part of a meal with no space in between. Nothing but water between meals, which keeps your body from continually spiking insulin.

As always, some things work for some people and not others. I can't have 6 tiny meals per day but some people feel better when they do.

The problem is that eating tiny meals for every meal to lose weight isn't sustainable.

You need to eat enough food to fuel your body. Try a much bigger breakfast, something with lots of protein, some fruit, and some whole grain (I love yogurt with granola - I eat plain unsweetened yogurt and mix frozen fruit into it because it adds alot of sweet taste without the high fructose corn syrup that's in flavored yogurt).

You also need to eat a reasonably large lunch, or have a snack halfway to lunch, a small lunch, and a snack halfway between lunch/dinner.

You need protein and some healthy fats and fruits/veggies to have enough to get through the day.

If you don't eat enough you end up crashing and not having enough energy to make healthy food choices - which leads to binging on chocolate ice cream (or whatever your vice is).

What works well for me is 3 good meals a day. They can be a pretty good range of anything I want (not 6 pizzas of course but not a salad with grilled chicken no dressing either) but absolutely nothing till the next meal. I aim for 5+ hours between meals. There is tons of differing nutrition info out there but I reads something about insulin response and meal spacing that made sense to me. I like being able to eat good meals with my family and not restrict. No rice for Mommy. No ice cream for Mommy.

Buy some clothes that actually fit you and move on with your life. Your weight is fine.

You might want to give intermittent fasting a try - I find that if I eat first thing in the morning, especially high glycemic foods like fruit or bagels, it kicks off hunger feelings all day. Even a 14 hour fast (eating only from 10 am to 8 pm or similar) has shown to be beneficial for women.

Anonymous wrote:OP here: I think I’m just resentful, I feel like I’ve been failing in this really stupid thing - eat less food. It shouldn’t be this hard. Every morning is like a little bright light, I can do this! And then the first meal I eat around 9 am is healthy and small-ish. And I’m hungry an hour later. I distract myself, knowing it’s not “real” hunger. But eventually I just give up, because I don’t have the emotional stamina anymore to deny, deny, deny what I want to eat. And it makes me so mad, because it’s 20 damn pounds I could have lost years ago if I could just power through the cravings and eat less food for a month. But I can’t even make it through 12 hours, so I feel like a failure and mad that I can’t just f***ing eat when I’m hungry. I think Stephanie Buttermore articulated this better. Anyway, I’m too vain to go all in and eat all the ice cream I want, but I’m not powerful enough to skip chocolate chips after dinner, so I’m in the miserable Groundhog Day of gaining and losing the same 10 pounds until one side wins I guess. Thank you for listening to my decidedly vain ragings.

but the thing is it isn't just a month, sure you can not eat for a month and lose weight, but in order to keep the weight off you need to make real lifestyle changes changes.

One reason why you might be overeating in the afternoons could be because you aren't eating enough earlier in the day and the hunger is building. Eat more protein at every meal. Aim for at least 100g /day. Instead of eating smaller meals that leave you hungry eat 3 larger meals that are high volume, that is sizable, but not high in calories. Focus on protein, veggies, a carb serving and some fat so you feel satisfied. Work the evening cookie into your calories instead of telling yourself you won't eat it and then get mad when you do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: I think I’m just resentful, I feel like I’ve been failing in this really stupid thing - eat less food. It shouldn’t be this hard. Every morning is like a little bright light, I can do this! And then the first meal I eat around 9 am is healthy and small-ish. And I’m hungry an hour later. I distract myself, knowing it’s not “real” hunger. But eventually I just give up, because I don’t have the emotional stamina anymore to deny, deny, deny what I want to eat. And it makes me so mad, because it’s 20 damn pounds I could have lost years ago if I could just power through the cravings and eat less food for a month. But I can’t even make it through 12 hours, so I feel like a failure and mad that I can’t just f***ing eat when I’m hungry. I think Stephanie Buttermore articulated this better. Anyway, I’m too vain to go all in and eat all the ice cream I want, but I’m not powerful enough to skip chocolate chips after dinner, so I’m in the miserable Groundhog Day of gaining and losing the same 10 pounds until one side wins I guess. Thank you for listening to my decidedly vain ragings.

What do you eat in the morning?
First morning meal actually start your day, and your insulin/blood sugar cycle, and it make it almost impossible to resist that chocolate chip after dinner.
So, eat good filling breakfast - eggs, veggies, some oatmeal. Just make sure it's all savory with no added sugar.
And if you hungry couple of hours later - eat, but pick something like full-fat plain Greek yogurt with and serving of berries or cherry tomatoes/cucumber/celery sticks.

Toast with turkey and cheese, or oatmeal and almond butter, or a 1/2 bagel with ham and egg. It’s pretty healthy, I’m just…hungry. :/

I think it's just not enough food - add side of veggies, get at least 15 g of protein, maybe small serving of plain oatmeal in additional to your ham and egg.
Oh, and check labels on your ham, almond butter, bagels - all known to have hidden added sugar. Pick products without it and see if it helps with your hunger after breakfast.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: I think I’m just resentful, I feel like I’ve been failing in this really stupid thing - eat less food. It shouldn’t be this hard. Every morning is like a little bright light, I can do this! And then the first meal I eat around 9 am is healthy and small-ish. And I’m hungry an hour later. I distract myself, knowing it’s not “real” hunger. But eventually I just give up, because I don’t have the emotional stamina anymore to deny, deny, deny what I want to eat. And it makes me so mad, because it’s 20 damn pounds I could have lost years ago if I could just power through the cravings and eat less food for a month. But I can’t even make it through 12 hours, so I feel like a failure and mad that I can’t just f***ing eat when I’m hungry. I think Stephanie Buttermore articulated this better. Anyway, I’m too vain to go all in and eat all the ice cream I want, but I’m not powerful enough to skip chocolate chips after dinner, so I’m in the miserable Groundhog Day of gaining and losing the same 10 pounds until one side wins I guess. Thank you for listening to my decidedly vain ragings.

What do you eat in the morning?
First morning meal actually start your day, and your insulin/blood sugar cycle, and it make it almost impossible to resist that chocolate chip after dinner.
So, eat good filling breakfast - eggs, veggies, some oatmeal. Just make sure it's all savory with no added sugar.
And if you hungry couple of hours later - eat, but pick something like full-fat plain Greek yogurt with and serving of berries or cherry tomatoes/cucumber/celery sticks.

+1.

You need to eat food that balances your blood sugar. You may want to consider a blood sugar monitor. Eat more protein and healthy fats.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: I think I’m just resentful, I feel like I’ve been failing in this really stupid thing - eat less food. It shouldn’t be this hard. Every morning is like a little bright light, I can do this! And then the first meal I eat around 9 am is healthy and small-ish. And I’m hungry an hour later. I distract myself, knowing it’s not “real” hunger. But eventually I just give up, because I don’t have the emotional stamina anymore to deny, deny, deny what I want to eat. And it makes me so mad, because it’s 20 damn pounds I could have lost years ago if I could just power through the cravings and eat less food for a month. But I can’t even make it through 12 hours, so I feel like a failure and mad that I can’t just f***ing eat when I’m hungry. I think Stephanie Buttermore articulated this better. Anyway, I’m too vain to go all in and eat all the ice cream I want, but I’m not powerful enough to skip chocolate chips after dinner, so I’m in the miserable Groundhog Day of gaining and losing the same 10 pounds until one side wins I guess. Thank you for listening to my decidedly vain ragings.

What do you eat in the morning?
First morning meal actually start your day, and your insulin/blood sugar cycle, and it make it almost impossible to resist that chocolate chip after dinner.
So, eat good filling breakfast - eggs, veggies, some oatmeal. Just make sure it's all savory with no added sugar.
And if you hungry couple of hours later - eat, but pick something like full-fat plain Greek yogurt with and serving of berries or cherry tomatoes/cucumber/celery sticks.

Toast with turkey and cheese, or oatmeal and almond butter, or a 1/2 bagel with ham and egg. It’s pretty healthy, I’m just…hungry. :/

Anonymous wrote:OP here: I think I’m just resentful, I feel like I’ve been failing in this really stupid thing - eat less food. It shouldn’t be this hard. Every morning is like a little bright light, I can do this! And then the first meal I eat around 9 am is healthy and small-ish. And I’m hungry an hour later. I distract myself, knowing it’s not “real” hunger. But eventually I just give up, because I don’t have the emotional stamina anymore to deny, deny, deny what I want to eat. And it makes me so mad, because it’s 20 damn pounds I could have lost years ago if I could just power through the cravings and eat less food for a month. But I can’t even make it through 12 hours, so I feel like a failure and mad that I can’t just f***ing eat when I’m hungry. I think Stephanie Buttermore articulated this better. Anyway, I’m too vain to go all in and eat all the ice cream I want, but I’m not powerful enough to skip chocolate chips after dinner, so I’m in the miserable Groundhog Day of gaining and losing the same 10 pounds until one side wins I guess. Thank you for listening to my decidedly vain ragings.

What do you eat in the morning?
First morning meal actually start your day, and your insulin/blood sugar cycle, and it make it almost impossible to resist that chocolate chip after dinner.
So, eat good filling breakfast - eggs, veggies, some oatmeal. Just make sure it's all savory with no added sugar.
And if you hungry couple of hours later - eat, but pick something like full-fat plain Greek yogurt with and serving of berries or cherry tomatoes/cucumber/celery sticks.

Lol I'm 5'4" and 179 pounds and I hate it.

I just started Noom because I've been working out 5 days a weeks for 6 months and have lost only 10 lbs. I would pay to be your weight.

OP here: I think I’m just resentful, I feel like I’ve been failing in this really stupid thing - eat less food. It shouldn’t be this hard. Every morning is like a little bright light, I can do this! And then the first meal I eat around 9 am is healthy and small-ish. And I’m hungry an hour later. I distract myself, knowing it’s not “real” hunger. But eventually I just give up, because I don’t have the emotional stamina anymore to deny, deny, deny what I want to eat. And it makes me so mad, because it’s 20 damn pounds I could have lost years ago if I could just power through the cravings and eat less food for a month. But I can’t even make it through 12 hours, so I feel like a failure and mad that I can’t just f***ing eat when I’m hungry. I think Stephanie Buttermore articulated this better. Anyway, I’m too vain to go all in and eat all the ice cream I want, but I’m not powerful enough to skip chocolate chips after dinner, so I’m in the miserable Groundhog Day of gaining and losing the same 10 pounds until one side wins I guess. Thank you for listening to my decidedly vain ragings.

Post a day of eating OP

Anonymous wrote:I‘ve been losing the same 10 pounds for three years. I’m 20 pounds over my pre-baby weight and I’m actually starting to get mad. Every morning I wake up with the intention to eat less, and I do fine until the afternoon, when I get hungry. I’m just f****ing hungry and tired of eating less than I want. I’m so f***ing done with dieting but I absolutely cannot abide by my weight (5‘4“ and 137 lbs). None of my clothes fit me well, I can’t move well, I feel gross. But I’m just hungry and tired of dieting for a decade. Thank you for listening to me rant, I will now return to my making plans to do the exact same dance tomorrow.

Eat more just slowly and smaller meals more frequently. NEVER go hungry. Throw out your scale-NOW!!!! This is a MUST-no exceptions. Your weight is fine and has a HIGHER survival rate should you catch covid. Focus on clothes fitting and moving by (cardio 2 min+) stretching and resistance. DRINK MORE water, like tons more. Do not let yourself get constipated-lentils, cooked veggies, kefir, etc until this is good. Consider a therapist for what sounds like a mental issue over HEALTHY weight. -Source:family hospitalized over an eating disorder