Anonymous wrote:In HS, I stayed home a few times. It would cause both cramps and vomiting (or it's possible that the advil I took for the cramps caused the vomiting)? I also eventually learned that exercising (even just a walk) helped but that's a difficult thing to bring yourself to do when you are feeling quite bad. (Better for when you feel it coming on.)

I second the idea of getting her checked out but otherwise don't have good advice. As a parent, it's impossible to know how much pain the kid is really in versus them wanting to take the easier way out. It's so hard!

+1. Though I needed really consistent exercise in advance to keep the cramps/vomit at bay, which was tough for me outside of sports season. In my 20s low dose oral contraceptives helped a ton.

If my DDs have this, I plan to see what can be done, not throw my hands up and say this is life like my mom.

I would get very sick every month and suffer tremendous pain with my period during all my teenage years. I missed 1-3 days of school every month and would take like 20 Tylenol a day (which my parents never saw as dangerous, but it was the 80s). Looking back, I get angry with my parents for doing nothing about this. It was solved when I went to college and got myself on birth control.

Anonymous wrote:I hate to use instagram as a source but I would really look at recent posts by Amy Schumer ref: endometriosis.

Painful, debilitating periods are not normal and women should not expect to regularly be in agony and normalize it.

The only times I have ever wanted to pass out from pain or cry involving my uterus was during labor, during an abortion, and during a miscarriage. I have PCOS and have large cysts. Ive had colposcopies and a highly sensitive cervix since just regular Paps are uncomfortable and I cramp for a day after. I had an IUD put in prior to childbirth and a very painful extraction (it wouldnt close back up). I have had really bad cramps, especially the ones that shock the anus - man those hurt but I have never needed to miss school or work. I also am not a high pain tolerance individual. I say this because there are definitely periods that suck and internal procedures that are not comfortable but the pain is quick.

If your child is regularly needing multiple Advils, unable to eat, etc. please go see a specialist. There really isnt much they can do for things like endometriosis, if that is the case, but they absolutely can give her tools to manage. But it is really important to be clear that a pain of 6-8/10 for a few days every month is not manageable and it should not be normalized that she just has to deal with it.

I'm one of the PP's who suffered from this, and I will tell you that childbirth and my miscarriage had nothing on what I went through monthly, but in retrospect, it was somewhat like going through labor every single month. Interestingly, after I gave birth, it never happened again. No one can tell me why.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had severe cramps in HS and would even vomit and passed out a couple of times. Have her evaluated by an OB and either get on BC or at least some pain meds for when they get bad.

+1 I missed school the first day of my period every month until my parents got me on BC.

My DD was experiencing the same symptoms that I got to witness first hand because of distance learning last year. We tried to manage it with Ibuprofen for over a year but she was still missing school. We went to her NP for her 13 year check up and we got her on BC. All cramping and other symptoms have disappeared.

Why put her through the misery of menstrual cramps if you can avoid it? BC is safe and effective for the vast majority of women.

+2 I'd pass out, my arms and legs would go numb so I couldn't move for about 3 minutes, then I'd start vomiting, sometimes for hours, and the pain was so bad I'd be in cold sweat laying on the bathroom floor for hours. I once clawed at my stomach so bad I drew blood. It is so humiliating when it starts and you are in a public place -- happened way too many times.

One of my high school friends, whom I'm still friends with, suffered very painful periods and would miss school sometimes. She was very driven - academically bright, and very athletic too, she played on the school's basketball team.

She later discovered she had endometriosis and needed surgery to correct it.

I missed a day of life once a month every year since I was 12. That fact that is it "normal" -- as in, it happens to a percentage of women -- does not mean your daughter isn't in excruciating pain and needs to stay home. Please don't downplay this and suggest she "push through it." That is cruel.

Also, getting on birth control helps a lot, but there will still be times when it's really bad.

It’s ok to miss school sometimes absolutely. But when it’s month after month because you aren’t getting ahead of the pain, that can be incredibly embarrassing to a teenage girl!

Have a talk with her about the dangers of pain meds. I was not well informed in the 1990s and would take 10 tylenol on the first day of cycles because they would wear off and I would end up doubled over in pain. Like a pp mentioned I would go sheet white and freeze so bad I would thaw out in my hot car in the sun to find relief. I didn't have any ill effects I know of from all the midol and tylenol I would take but I would not want my daughter facing that on her own as I did.

Anonymous wrote:Jesus, the number of women on here willing to say a young woman should just deal with it and that she's probably just being 'lazy' is disgusting, and also very sad. The PP that said if men had to deal with this our view would be very, very different is spot on. And female doctors can be just as, if not more, dismissive than male doctors because many of them also buy into this worldview that women are just lazy whiners who should be pushing silently and cheerfully through pain to get along in society without causing anyone any inconvenience. They see women who admit they're in pain as letting down the cause or something - my sister went through this sort of thing for years before finally finding a gynecologist who would help her. And when she did, her life became so much better.

I agree it’s sad. I think even some women can be dismissive if they assume other women’s periods feel like theirs does, or what their worst cramping feels like. Just because your own period discomfort is manageable doesn’t mean that the pain OTHER women experience can’t be debilitating. We aren’t all the same.

Anonymous wrote:Take your daughter to a gynecologist to be evaluated for primary dysmenorrhea. This is not uncommon and for teens like me, cannot be resolved with Advil. I was put on birth control pills which alleviated my symptoms almost immediately. Like your daughter, I was missing school due to the pain and nausea and once even passed out in the school bathroom.

Also, to be evaluated for endo (see: Amy Schumer). When I was in middle and high school, there was a girl whose cramps got so bad she'd throw up. Basically the entire grade knew this and it was like "Sorry I'm late Ms. Miller, Lauren puked and I had to get her stuff from her locker and bring it to the nurse where she's waiting for her mom to pick her up." Happened every month.

Jesus, the number of women on here willing to say a young woman should just deal with it and that she's probably just being 'lazy' is disgusting, and also very sad. The PP that said if men had to deal with this our view would be very, very different is spot on. And female doctors can be just as, if not more, dismissive than male doctors because many of them also buy into this worldview that women are just lazy whiners who should be pushing silently and cheerfully through pain to get along in society without causing anyone any inconvenience. They see women who admit they're in pain as letting down the cause or something - my sister went through this sort of thing for years before finally finding a gynecologist who would help her. And when she did, her life became so much better.

Yes, OP, take her to another doctor, one who will actually listen to your daughter and help her. Your pediatrician is a jerk and probably incapable of treating anyone who's gone through puberty. Get her a non-ped doctor. And yes, let her stay home from school if she's in terrible pain. Do you really think she's getting anything out of being forced to sit in a chair in a class and run around the halls on a bell schedule when she's physically miserable? It's ok to follow your instincts as a parent and support your child even if some random authority figure brushes her off. And it's ok to miss school sometimes.

Anonymous wrote:Do people using BC just skip their periods?

No

However, some women skip the inactive pills in their monthly pack and are able to skip their periods.

There are also specific no period birth control pills like Lybrel.

Yes to gyn. Also, try Aleve instead of Advil...it works much better for me. As a teen, I did sometimes miss school or extracurricular activities because of cramps.

The gynecologist very well may want to see if Advil taken a day or two in advance of her period, going through about the second day of it, can help. But definitely have your teen see her so that she can have an experienced MD who will work with her to figure this out.

For some teens, tracking her period and managing with OTC meds can work. However, be careful. I tried this for a year but the severity of the pain meant I needed to take a lot of Advil to function at school. And then because I was in so much pain, I was very nauseated - which meant I couldn’t always take the meds with food like you are supposed to. I couldn’t even manage crackers when the cramping was in full force. Which then irritated my stomach lining, leading to more pain and more nausea. It was a vicious cycle. This is why for some teens, moving to BCPs makes more sense to resolve the symptoms long term.

There’s no reason for your teen to continue to be in pain like this.

By the way, my doctor said most women grow out of the symptoms and especially after their first child is born. This was true for me - I was able to stop taking BCPs permanently after my first child was born.

Do people using BC just skip their periods?