My DS started kindergarten without knowing anyone. He's pretty shy, so he seemed content but not close with anyone for a couple of months. He mentioned some kids' names, but we didn't do playdates until at least mid-year.

After school, I would pick him up and stay for a bit with him while he played on the playground with other kids, and he got to know a few kids through that. Not sure if that's an option for you, but it might help a little -- especially for you with getting to connect to some other parents.

My 1st grader started at a school where she only new 2 kids (but neither are in her class and they can't intermingle due to covid) so she effectively knows no one that she can actually socialize with. She made friends immediately. But she's a super social kid and all kids are not that way. I was proud of her because some of these kids already had relationships from the year before (they were in person full time 2nd semester last year) but she's fit right in. And I was honestly a little stressed starting at a new school.

DD's school pairs each new kid up with a buddy so DD walked in knowing one child. She feels like she has about five friends. I'd say that happened by the end of Week 2.

Anonymous wrote:Late winter/spring. It takes a while for school friendships to sort out. Totally normal.

This. The fall was spent playing with different groups for days or weeks at a time. After winter break, I could tell she had a handful that were more routine.

And then March 2020 came around. So we are just getting back into the swing of it now in 2nd grade! Sigh.

Anonymous wrote:Don’t the majority of kids know nobody when they go to K? Or maybe one kid?

I think it depends on the neighborhood + preschool situation. If you're in a tight, full-of-kids neighborhood where many, most go to the same preschool and neighborhood public school, kids are likely to enter K knowing at least a handful of kids. If your neighborhood is low on kids, or a "bedroom community" and you commute from Fairfax to a downtown DC preschool, probably not. Or even if you're in DC and do the lottery and switch schools between PreK and K.

We're in VA and most of the kids in my kid's preschool class are from the neighborhood. About 60% of my kid's preschool class went on to the same public, where most had 1-2 older siblings. Those kids already knew preschool friends + younger siblings of older siblings' friends. Some already knew teachers, staff, etc.

Don’t the majority of kids know nobody when they go to K? Or maybe one kid?

Anonymous wrote:A whole lonely year for my poor kid. He’s an introvert like his mom. But the next year he made some friends, and now at age 12 he has a wide social circle, with both close friends and acquaintances. He still remembers his lonely year!

Aw, little buddy...

A whole lonely year for my poor kid. He’s an introvert like his mom. But the next year he made some friends, and now at age 12 he has a wide social circle, with both close friends and acquaintances. He still remembers his lonely year!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, sounds like we are relatively normal then. DS has known many of the neighborhood kids for his whole life, from child care / preschool, park & pool, etc. But the core group of 8-10 kids have all scattered for K.

DS definitely talked about missing his preschool friends early on. By about week 2, he’d talk about other kids by name. There’s one particular kid he talks about a lot and wants to invite over, which I’ll do.

It’s probably just me being over-sensitive when we’ve gone from seeing friends all the time to him saying, “X is my only friend at school.” The teacher says he’s played with everyone, so I guess we’re on the right track.

Can you still do playdates with the neighborhood/daycare friends on weekends? It’s good for kids to stay in touch with multiple groups of friends.

My K’er took a week to start talking up her new private school K friends, and we’ll soon start to do play dates with them if they’re amenable (we’ve met up with one so far). However, we’ve focused more on afterschool play dates with her neighborhood friends. She sees her school friends for 7 hours a day, so why not switch it up afterschool is my feeling.

Yep, for sure. We’ve had pool / park meetups and drop off play dates and an upcoming birthday party with preschool / neighborhood friends. We want to nurture those and have gotten quite close with several families.

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, sounds like we are relatively normal then. DS has known many of the neighborhood kids for his whole life, from child care / preschool, park & pool, etc. But the core group of 8-10 kids have all scattered for K.

DS definitely talked about missing his preschool friends early on. By about week 2, he’d talk about other kids by name. There’s one particular kid he talks about a lot and wants to invite over, which I’ll do.

It’s probably just me being over-sensitive when we’ve gone from seeing friends all the time to him saying, “X is my only friend at school.” The teacher says he’s played with everyone, so I guess we’re on the right track.

Can you still do playdates with the neighborhood/daycare friends on weekends? It’s good for kids to stay in touch with multiple groups of friends.

My K’er took a week to start talking up her new private school K friends, and we’ll soon start to do play dates with them if they’re amenable (we’ve met up with one so far). However, we’ve focused more on afterschool play dates with her neighborhood friends. She sees her school friends for 7 hours a day, so why not switch it up afterschool is my feeling.

Glad to see this thread. My K is also having trouble adjusting.

In K, took until late fall. In first at a new school, took a couple of weeks.