Anonymous wrote:Why get so precious?
Regardless, feminist women are kidding themselves with “keeping their names.” We have a patriarchal naming system, so if anything, you are just keeping and “passing on” your DAD’s name.

Seriously, it’s one dude’s name or another (your husband’s or your dad’s!)

Why is it more my Dad’s name than my own name? He was given a name by his parents that he kept from birth to death. I was given a name by my parent that I will keep from birth to death. I have my son my name, which he will keep from birth to death. Patriarchy is irrelevant to this except that it makes trolls like you come out. It’s MY name. It’s my son’s name. It was my dad’s name. We own it equally.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why get so precious?
Regardless, feminist women are kidding themselves with “keeping their names.” We have a patriarchal naming system, so if anything, you are just keeping and “passing on” your DAD’s name.

Seriously, it’s one dude’s name or another (your husband’s or your dad’s!)

I can tell this is very triggering for you.

Women who don’t change their names aren’t necessarily trying to “fight the patriarchy”. They’re simply continuing to use the name they were born with, similar to how most men continue to use their birth names upon marriage.

PP doesn't believe women can own their names.

Anonymous wrote:Why get so precious?
Regardless, feminist women are kidding themselves with “keeping their names.” We have a patriarchal naming system, so if anything, you are just keeping and “passing on” your DAD’s name.

Seriously, it’s one dude’s name or another (your husband’s or your dad’s!)

I can tell this is very triggering for you.

Women who don’t change their names aren’t necessarily trying to “fight the patriarchy”. They’re simply continuing to use the name they were born with, similar to how most men continue to use their birth names upon marriage.

We’ve been held up at the airport immigration and security lines more than once for someone in our party having one letter different from ticket and ID (usually the middle name vs abbreviation is the culprit). Such a pain just for “Liam” vs “L”. I’d avoid doing 2 middle names just because computers (and dmv people) do not know how to consistently handle them. I’ve heard the same for people with “NMN”. Life’s hard enough.

It’s annoying to have four names. There are several forms for which you have to choose which name to drop. I would especially avoid this for a girl, as it makes monograms and initial items tricky.

Anonymous wrote:I did this and as the kids are near adults I am so glad that I did. They like it too (they have told me). We actually did four names: First Middle MyLastName HisLastName.

I did to. Mine have four names. Only trouble is one letter of my long last name is cut off my long first name daughter’s SS card. But if your name is short, it’ll fit if the other names are short as well. Some people hyphenate anyway but whatever.

Anonymous wrote:I kept my last name after marrying DH. We’re expecting our first baby now. I’m considering having my last name (one syllable) as a second middle name for the baby. That way, my last name would be part of baby’s official name without dealing with having a hyphenated last name (I don’t want to go the hyphenated last name route). I’d like to keep the first middle name short with a one syllable name as well. Thoughts? Is it a hassle having two middle names?

This is the naming tradition in my family and I intend to do it when the time comes. Having two middle names has never been a problem or a burden for me and it has meant a lot to my mother to see her last name on my diplomas.

The lesbian version:

I gave birth to our kids. They have my last name and my wife’s last name as their middle name.

We didn’t to do a hyphenated last name. As a teacher, I saw kids drop one of the last names.

My son's middle name is my last name. The only eh about it is my last name is increasingly being used as a girl's name but it's not so common enough to be weird.

I always wish we followed the Spanish naming system with two last names

I did firstname mylast hislast. Works for us.

Anonymous wrote:Why get so precious?
Regardless, feminist women are kidding themselves with “keeping their names.” We have a patriarchal naming system, so if anything, you are just keeping and “passing on” your DAD’s name.

Seriously, it’s one dude’s name or another (your husband’s or your dad’s!)

I love that we passed along my dad’s name. I loved my dad.

OP, it has been a naming tradition in my family for a number of generations to do FIRST MIDDLE MATERNALLASTNAME FATHERSLASTNAME. The first name is usually (mostly) unique to that person. The second usually honors a loved one. The third is a last name on the maternal side (mother’s, grandmother’s, even great grandmother’s). That said, my sister went a completely different route with her child’s name. Can’t say it’s as simple as Juan Garcia or Mary Johnson but it’s not a burden either.

Name what you want.

Anonymous wrote:We did this. In birth cert, passport and social security they have 2 middle names. In school forms its just the one middle name. I haven't seem an issue yet.

Super helpful. Thanks!

It only matters on forms that have to match the birth certificate. Rest of the time they use FirstName DadLastName. Future family genealogists will thank you, lol!

Anonymous wrote:I gave my DC my last name as their middle and am glad, but sometimes wish I’d chosen another middle name as well. So I like your solution, OP. I don’t think it’s a big deal to have two middle names. The thing about names is that most of the time you can go by whatever you want, and then when you have to provide your legal name on paperwork, middle names are optional 90% of the time. And when they are not optional, often they are space limited, so you can just put initials (or get mail with a partial middle name on them).

Point is, it really doesn’t matter and you should give your kid the name you want.

OP here. Thanks! This is why I was thinking of doing two middle names. I wanted the first middle name to be a traditional given name. My last name sounds like a last name and wouldn’t ever be used as a first name. Plus, I would like the first middle name to be my mom’s name.

I realize the second middle name would hardly ever be used but would still mean a lot to me if my last name was part of DC’s name in some way. I guess I’m more concerned about any potential hassle for DC going forward. Not sure if the folks who fall in the “just do one middle name” camp have any justification other than they don’t like it for me to weigh the pros and cons.