OP, I know you mean well. But don't follow up about flowers. Reach out to her and ask "how is she handling things?" Just listen to her. Let her express her sadness, anger, whatever her emotions might be.


About 1 month after my mom died, there was a period of about 4 months in which I could barely have a conversation with my husband that didn't end in me bawling. Keeping my emotional/mental capacities in check from 1 minute to the next was a challenge.

Like, I couldn't even wash the dishes without melting down.

PS-let me guess, you have never lost a close loved one.

People are dealing with a lot after a death (both practically and emotionally). They often take weeks to write thank you notes.

DO NOT contact her. That makes it look like she was remiss.

IF the flowers did not come for some reason, you can find the next time you talk. DON"T contact her to find out. That seems self-centered/self-serving to me, TBH.

Jesus....you guys are so cruel it's truly unbelievable. It's like a feeding frenzy of complete jerks.

You really shouldn’t have sent flowers if you needed this much attention over it. Honestly it would have been better to do nothing.

She got them. Loves them. Barely knows her own name right now. They are a bright spot. Know she appreciates them. No need to check in.

She’s usually the type to let you know she received your flowers, but HER DAD JUST DIED. Nothing about right now is usual. Back off and assume she got them and is overwhelmed.

What is wrong with you? She is dealing with grief, and the never-ending aftermath of death: funeral arrangements, death certificates, sorting out finances, the will, the belongings.

Wow, you sent flowers. You’re a freaking saint.

Let it go.

This happened to me when I sent to my cousins after aunt passed. I assumed they were just caught up in grief and was not intentional.

If it was something like food that is perishable maybe, but not for flowers.

Anonymous wrote:Please don’t reach out to her right now. She doesn’t care about flowers.

+1
Don’t ask. At this point, she barely knows which way is up. She’s not going to know off the top of her head who did what. Asking will add to her burden as she tries to track down your answer, and will probably make her feel guilty that you had to ask in the first place.

While sending flowers was a kind gesture, there’s no requirement to do so. She probably got the flowers and appreciate them, but worst case scenario if she didn’t is a nul impact on her. She’s trying to cope with loss and isn’t keeping score on gifts. If you ask, the gesture becomes less about offering her support and more about you getting brownie points.

Please don’t reach out to her right now. She doesn’t care about flowers.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she’s going to actually send a thank you note? Please don’t call after a day!

+1

Give it a hot minute!!

Anonymous wrote:Back off. Maybe she got them, maybe she didn't. When you do check in with her PLEASE don't ask about the flowers. She how she is doing.

+1 Losing a parent is an incredibly hard thing to go through. I have a period of 3-4 months that are hazy looking back on them, following my mothers death. She is likely doing the best she can.