OP here. Thank you all for your thoughts and perspective - exactly what I needed!

Upon reflection, I do think this is both a generational thing (I'm in my early 40s) and a tech thing (my husband bought/installed/wanted the NestCam - I had no desire and never use it).

I can see how, as an isolated instance, this is not a big deal and probably stems from good intentions. But our nanny does have boundary problems (she's a lovely person, every person has issues, I don't mean to imply she's terrible) so I agree with posters who said I should examine my own feelings - I think this instance for me was just one more feeling of her crossing into my "safe space." Which says just as much about me as it does about her.

I 100% will need to talk to my husband about removing these cameras, they are just not for me. Sounds like other families who are more open and less private would not have an issue.

Thanks all.

Anonymous wrote:Many 22-year-olds think about tech and video and being on video differently than older people do. To me this is maybe bad judgment stemming from that. I’d be unhappy with the situation but not overly unhappy with her, if that makes sense. But it seems like you should talk with her about social media as far as your own kids, as well as asking her nicely not to access the Nest when she’s not at work. And change the password while she’s away.

+1

Anonymous wrote:I think she just thought it would be a fun surprise for the kids. It’s a little cringey to me that she didn’t think it would come across as odd but it’s not creepy to me. You gave her access.

This. I would talk to her. But with the understanding that she is young and just not thinking.,

Anonymous wrote:Many 22-year-olds think about tech and video and being on video differently than older people do. To me this is maybe bad judgment stemming from that. I’d be unhappy with the situation but not overly unhappy with her, if that makes sense. But it seems like you should talk with her about social media as far as your own kids, as well as asking her nicely not to access the Nest when she’s not at work. And change the password while she’s away.

Exactly this. It’s generational. She probably just missed them and wanted to say hi.

It’s hard to imagine a 22-year-old hanging around spying on your nanny cam.

Anonymous wrote:OP, don’t let he crazies here gaslight you into thinking this is okay, because it absolutely isn’t. I would seriously question the judgment of a nanny who doesn’t understand this is a serious invasion of privacy (or who just doesn’t care). Who knows what else she goes snooping through when you’re not home.

Snoopers are sneaky. Why would she announce her presence if she was trying to surreptitiously spy? That makes no sense. She’s just a naive and maybe socially awkward young woman, I would guess.

Anonymous wrote:I think she just thought it would be a fun surprise for the kids. It’s a little cringey to me that she didn’t think it would come across as odd but it’s not creepy to me. You gave her access.

Not underwing the bounds of appropriate use of that access suggests the nanny has poor judgment.

Anonymous wrote:So some posters have said that its sweet because the nanny just missed the kids and wanted to check in. Well, don't parents their kids while they are working? If the roles were reversed, and the nanny was watching the kids, would she be okay with the parents randomly coming over the microphone and announcing that they can see what's going on?

Even if the nanny didn’t have a problem with that, there is a big difference between an employer using technology to monitor an employee on the job and an employee using technology to watch their boss and their family during off hours.

I think she just thought it would be a fun surprise for the kids. It’s a little cringey to me that she didn’t think it would come across as odd but it’s not creepy to me. You gave her access.

So some posters have said that its sweet because the nanny just missed the kids and wanted to check in. Well, don't parents their kids while they are working? If the roles were reversed, and the nanny was watching the kids, would she be okay with the parents randomly coming over the microphone and announcing that they can see what's going on?

This is why high tech solutions are sometimes more problematic than they are helpful. We just carried around a monitor and looked in the kids from where we were in the house. There is no need to get fancy, UNLESS, you don't trust the nanny and are using it to watch what's happening at home while at work. (If that's the case, maybe that's why you are so bothered by this ... it's your baggage you are bringing to her.)

Honestly, to me it sounds sweet. A nanny invested enough in her charges to want to say hello while away. (Does that threaten you? It sounds like maybe and if so ... you should think about it.)

It's not that I'd want someone looking into my house form afar (I wouldn't and would not set up the tech to make that possible). BUT, I wouldn't jump to the worst conclusion as you have and would instead just ask her not to use the cam while not in the house NICELY.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having someone potentially watching you through a nanny cam IS definitely creepy and an invasion of privacy. But it's a choice you made.

No, OP did not make the choice to have her nanny monitor them through the Nest camera while she’s away until there was an opportunity to talk to the kids.

I would change the password on the Nest camera so she can’t access it anymore until you have an opportunity to talk to her about appropriate boundaries.

OP put the camera up for this very purpose. She just expected to be the peeper herself. Those things are not secure and are easily hacked. If you have one, you could always be potentially being watched. Don't want to be watched? Don't put up a creepy ass camera.

OP, don’t let he crazies here gaslight you into thinking this is okay, because it absolutely isn’t. I would seriously question the judgment of a nanny who doesn’t understand this is a serious invasion of privacy (or who just doesn’t care). Who knows what else she goes snooping through when you’re not home.

Anonymous wrote:Having someone potentially watching you through a nanny cam IS definitely creepy and an invasion of privacy. But it's a choice you made.

No, OP did not make the choice to have her nanny monitor them through the Nest camera while she’s away until there was an opportunity to talk to the kids.

I would change the password on the Nest camera so she can’t access it anymore until you have an opportunity to talk to her about appropriate boundaries.

Having someone potentially watching you through a nanny cam IS definitely creepy and an invasion of privacy. But it's a choice you made.

Given the nanny’s age and how technology norms are shifting, I would have a conversation with her about it and move on. She obviously cares for your children, otherwise she’d not be checking in to say hi to them on vacation. Think about it, at 22, did you care to check in with some kids? Even ones who might have been family? I have a 20 year old cousin who babysits for us regularly and this is exactly the kind of thing we’ve had to discuss with her. She would often have my kids of FaceTime with her friends, some of whom we’ve never met, because she feels like my kids are a part of her life and truly didn’t get my apprehension. After some discussion, she understood our POV and has made adjustments. They mean no harm, but most of these Gen Z young adults have been raised in a time where privacy is a shifting thing and they are used to constant digital monitoring and intrusion.

A good nanny who cares for your children and is a reliable employee is worth her weight in gold.