DH's limerent affair has all but destroyed me.

What do you want to know in particular about his EA? How much it hurts to see the one you love foreclose our future and the future of our children for a person he's obsessively texted this past year?

How he can't stop, won't stop thinking of her?

How she promises him an escape from the doldrums of marriage and confidently previews a future full of fun, jokes, sexual chemistry, and genuine friendship?

How he's intent on exploring an alternate future he could have with her -- a beloved friend from his teenage years-- versus the woman who has been nothing but loyal and supportive these past 16 yrs?

How he desperately wants to protect her from the men who have hurt her, yet at the very same time, is hurting me and causing trauma in my life?

Do you want to know what it's like to witness two months of double grief -- to see a man grieve the pain he caused his wife, yet at the very same time grieve over his EA and not wanting to get rid of her forever?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Limerent no clue what this means.

+1

OP is a narcissist and is throwing out a big word to show his superiority over us all.

I though OP was from the same sex couple where the wife is having an affair with a third woman.

Are you Ben Stein's wife?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Limerent no clue what this means.

+1

OP is a narcissist and is throwing out a big word to show his superiority over us all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know about limerance, but my spouse had a limerick affair.

There once was a spouse who was horny
It led to problems very thorny
Wedding vows they broke
Hurt multiple folk
Now multiple lives are all torn-y.

Oh man, this made me laugh. Brilliant. Sorry, OP, I know it’s not a laughing matter for you.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know about limerance, but my spouse had a limerick affair.

There once was a spouse who was horny
It led to problems very thorny
Wedding vows they broke
Hurt multiple folk
Now multiple lives are all torn-y.

I don’t know about limerance, but my spouse had a limerick affair.

Anonymous wrote:Tell me about how you started an affair because your spouse was driving you nuts using big words you always had to look up.

😄

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Limerent no clue what this means.

+1

What’s a lime thing? Wasnt this same thing posted before. And I refuse to look up the word again.

You put the lime in the coconut and drink em both up

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Limerent no clue what this means.

+1

What’s a lime thing? Wasnt this same thing posted before. And I refuse to look up the word again.

i mean...you could read the thread...

Anonymous wrote:Did you stay in the marriage? Did you leave? When did the affair end (or did it not)?

What type of affair? A crush? A fatal attraction? Or cyber crush? Wth

Sure, leave.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Limerent no clue what this means.

+1

What’s a lime thing? Wasnt this same thing posted before. And I refuse to look up the word again.

I've only seen this word limerance on dcum, and I don't understand its usage. (Or maybe l do lol.) It seems like the cheated-upon use it to downplay the severity of their spouse's affair. Or someone who wants to get over someone tells herself her feelings aren't real, they're just limerance. As if it's a clinical condition with no basis in real emotions.

IMO, limerance is another word for crush...and ALL romantic relationships start with a crush. So why differentiate, OP? Either their relationship will stand the test of time or it won't, but it is a relationship, and your partner is choosing to have that relationship with someone else. That is all that matters.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:More than 15 years later after I divorced him and his second wife divorced him, my XH is still in love with this woman he knew at 17. She never left her H despite promising she would. Even after her child turned 18. I don’t think they ever have slept together. She’s just everything he ever wanted and all things good and perfect I suppose so why sully that with some extramarital intercourse. However, I think she is much, more smarter than me or XW #2. Both of us thought he was over her and clearly she has a magic formula she’s mastered.

Is this the reason you both divorced him? That is quite a story.

No, I stupidly forgave him after finding out. I reasoned that it was never physical. Dumb thinking. We divorced for other reasons. XW #2 says it was a combination of the emotional affair and the same reasons I divorced him.

This is a whole pile of poop. I am so sorry this happened to you.

Anonymous wrote:More than 15 years later after I divorced him and his second wife divorced him, my XH is still in love with this woman he knew at 17. She never left her H despite promising she would. Even after her child turned 18. I don’t think they ever have slept together. She’s just everything he ever wanted and all things good and perfect I suppose so why sully that with some extramarital intercourse. However, I think she is much, more smarter than me or XW #2. Both of us thought he was over her and clearly she has a magic formula she’s mastered.

The magic formula is that she remained a fantasy.