Judgements are truly unnecessary.

Folks: I know the basics of women’s fertility. I don’t need recommendations regarding my life choices from complete strangers. I came on here welcoming recommendations for increasing my success rates, regardless of what the stats may be. I’m already committed to this process, so any additionally commentary (as well intentioned as it may be), is pointless and is only throwing salt on a raw wound.

I say this kindly OP:

You are past the point of egg freezing. Unless you have the FSH/AMH/AFC of a 30 year old, it's unethical of your RE to push egg freezing with you without a serious conversation about your very low chance of success. The challenge is not just the number of eggs retrieved, but that at 40 the odds those eggs survive unfreezing and then go on to make a genetically normal embryo are low. The other problem with egg freezing at 40 is that you do not know if ultimately those eggs will be successful. If you bank a decent number of eggs after three cycles, you are going to move forward with a lot of big life decisions under the assumption there's a good chance of a baby in there. How will you feel at 45 if you thaw those eggs, no baby and you are past the point of trying to get pregnant with IVF or naturally?

And I'm telling you this as someone who was an egg freezing success story. I froze 22 eggs at 35 (two cycles) and ultimately had two genetically normal embryos that resulted in one miscarriage and one successful pregnancy - and that's it from 22 relatively young eggs. If you freeze 22 eggs at 40, odds are you end up with 0-1 normal embryos (because old eggs = more abnormal embryos). If you freeze a lot less than 22 eggs, you are very likely to end up with 0 normal embryos. You also have no idea if you will end up having uterine or receptivity issues - something you often only find out after more than one embryo transfer.

The best thing you can do for yourself is either move forward now on trying to get pregnant with a donor - and throw every possible resource at that. Truly everything - every test, every supplement, everything. Or begin to make peace with the fact with the low odds of a bio child from frozen eggs.

And truly that option may be okay. Some people only want to have children with a partner and that's fine. But if you want a child at any cost, the time to move forward on that is now.

Thank you to the commentator who understands I thought this through and is sending happy vibes. I appreciate your encouragement.

Also, it’s not about age, it’s about your hormone levels. Obviously, it’s harder as women get older, but I went to a few places to get their assessment. It was only after duplicative assessments, I decided to proceed with this process at my age.

Anonymous wrote:What clinic is willing to sell you egg freezing at 40? My very ethical doctor told me 38 was the upper limit for the process actually succeeding.

Agree that waiting is ridiculous. None of my friends who froze their eggs suddenly met a great husband in their mid-40s who wanted to have kids. Meanwhile, I had my sperm donor kids at 40, and like PP said, I am seriously feeling my age at 45. Not sure I could do it now.

Depending on your day 3 test results, plenty of places will do freezing at 40. Age is one factor but by no means the only. Success with frozen eggs from age X is very similar to plain old IVF from age X. The vitrification freezing technology is that good.
As for one example, I did 3 freezing rounds with a very numbers-savvy RE at Shady Grove. A few years later I married my boyfriend and we now have 2 great kids from those eggs frozen at 40-41. Was I guaranteed a baby? Of course not- but I did what I could as my age, finances and life circumstances allowed to put myself in the best position I could to have a child with my own eggs. Would this all have been easier at 30 or 35? Maybe? Who knows!? My whole life was different then and I hadn’t even met my future husband. But certainly I don’t feel too old to have the life and family I was lucky to get. As a side note, I only used 13 eggs to have 2 kids - but again nothing was ever guaranteed and I certainly know it could easily have gone the other way. OP has clearly thought this though - sending her good luck and happy vibes.

If you were aware of my circumstances, you wouldn’t think it was “ridiculous”. I asked for recommendations for increasing my odds for my remaining cycles, not your judgements. I don’t want in your shoes and you don’t walk in mine.

OP, when I was doing IVF at 41-42, my doctor recommended going full blast, essentially; I was on very high stims for my cycles. And that worked for me in that I regularly had 10-12 mature eggs harvested from each ovary. So, just upping the doses in your protocol may help in a subsequent cycle.

I ultimately had a healthy baby at 44 and am considering trying for a 2nd at 48. Sure, it's not optimal, but such is life and I'm in better shape now than I was 10 years ago, in self-defense from chasing a toddler. So FWIW I sure won't discourage you from freezing your eggs at 40. Wishing you lots of luck and a healthy baby/babies of your own when you're ready! <3

About 6 years ago my Dr at SGF was pushing me to freeze my eggs. I was 39 and about 3 months from turning 40. I disagreed and went ahead with using a donor. I figured that Mr. Right was not going to magically appear though I had a few friends that did meet Mr. Right at 40. I used a donor and have a 5 year old and a frozen embryos leftover. I gave birth about 2 months from turning 42. I agree with the PP, I'm feeling my age more at 47.

quote=Anonymous]What clinic is willing to sell you egg freezing at 40? My very ethical doctor told me 38 was the upper limit for the process actually succeeding.

Agree that waiting is ridiculous. None of my friends who froze their eggs suddenly met a great husband in their mid-40s who wanted to have kids. Meanwhile, I had my sperm donor kids at 40, and like PP said, I am seriously feeling my age at 45. Not sure I could do it now.